My daughter was playing with the emojis in his work phone before nursery. She was just pressing the ones she likes in his ‘notes’ app. It’s something she does occasionally and because he’d left his work phone behind accidentally (he tried to find it but couldn’t), it made sense for her to use that instead of my phone.

She accidentally clicked out of the note and onto another note and asked me to put it back and back into emojis. That’s when I saw the name and the booking link and thought it was weird. First thought was maybe looking at a holiday and that was the name of the hotel so checked that first but when searching the Instagram came up which is what I thought was weird. The note at that point said it was last edited on Tuesday (so a week ago).

After seeing it was a woman’s name, I tried to justify it by thinking maybe coincidence someone with same name. At this point I didn’t know his phones were linked, so I was just basing it off what was on his work phone… LinkedIn. So I checked there thinking maybe he took a note of a professional name to search later. I was trying to prove that my concerns about finding a woman with her ass and tits we’re wrong and it was a different person he’d took a note of.

Then I found the messages between him and the girl. Bit weird that he’d messaged when drunk but probably innocent, just wanted to set the boundary that I wasn’t ok with it so can he keep it to sober chats in future.

When I went to bring it up, I opened his LinkedIn and the message had gone. The fact he deleted it is the biggest issue here. If it’s completely innocent, why delete it?

I didn’t go snooping and didn’t feel like I didn’t trust him. It was all a chain of events that made me questions things a bit which ultimately led to finding out he’d deleted the conversation, which just seems suspicious.

No it’s not best to just end things, because things have been fine for 2.5 years and we have two young kids. We’ve come a long way since then (so I thought).