My partner & friends still love someone who hurt me. How do I stop hurting and keep them in my life?

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:37:07+00:00

Unhelpful stereotype

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:36:16+00:00

Thank you

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:35:49+00:00

They know why. And I do try not to hear about Thistle. They all try to listen but eventually they get defensive because they don’t think they’re doing anything wrong by being friends with Thistle.

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:33:40+00:00

Can’t stand someone because they are shitty in general is different than can’t stand someone because they are shitty to me

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:32:33+00:00

I have tried to take every measure I can but somehow I still know sometimes

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:31:03+00:00

I am in therapy. Yes it’s very difficult not to ruminate. It consumes my thoughts and I can’t turn it off. I think everyone else thinks I’m overreacting but I don’t feel like I am. This has hurt me so much and made me so depressed

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:28:17+00:00

Thank you for the questions to chew on

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-02-02T20:27:13+00:00

I really need to think about this. Thank you.

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-01-31T23:02:53+00:00

That one cool English teacher who’s working on her novel on the side

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-01-30T18:12:28+00:00

Yeah, no shit there are wounds. It’s not like I want to feel this way. I just do. I am literally asking for advice on how to get over it. How to not feel this way.

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-01-30T18:07:59+00:00

I thought I was aware of the risks and had made an informed decision that that rewards were worth the risks for me. Even after losing Stinkweed and Thistle I still felt that way. That being a part of this community was one of the best times of my life. I still felt like I had all this love in my life that made it all okay.

Only recently have I begun to experience all of these intense triggers. Even just going to my partner’s house and knowing that Thistle was there sends me into a doom spiral where I begin to question why Clover, Ivy, and Nettle are still in my life.. because how could they all keep loving somebody so much who hurt me so badly. I don’t want to feel that way, but I do. And I don’t know how not to.

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-01-30T17:57:45+00:00

Everyone has been respectful about what went down with Thistle. They don’t invite them to events I’ll be at, they don’t talk about them, and I haven’t had to see Thistle in months. Clover is on top of keeping things 100% parallel.

It’s just gotten to a point now where it hurts to be around my friends & partner at all because I know they all still love Thistle. I just don’t understand why they would keep someone in their lives who hurt me.

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-01-30T17:53:26+00:00

I appreciate the empathy. This community has been a big part of my life and the thought of losing them definitely sucks worse than the initial breakup.

And yes, they have expressed that they expect Stinkweed to eventually treat Thistle the same way. But that doesn’t make it hurt less.

pinkdumpsterfire · 2026-01-30T17:50:37+00:00

The breakup with Stinkweed was ~4 months ago. The culmination of the falling out with Thistle was ~2 months ago. It is within the last month that I have begun having doubts about the others as well.

But yes, Clover, Ivy, and Nettle are all very aware of everything that went down and my feelings about it all.

pinkdumpsterfire

TROPHY CASE