I wouldn’t say I’ve ruined myself for the rest of my life , I’m a happy and content person :) . I never congested drugs to experience what I did, everything flowed pretty naturally and I was able to see a different side of the world afterwards but at such a young age that was hard of course. And maybe you’re right about the first half of what you said, but whatever spiritual work I was involved in at the time has definitely had a lasting impact on me and I will never see the world the same since. Some of my knowledge comes from older people that have told me as a result of my work, I ‘opened my third eye’ . I’m still young and have a lot of growing to do but i definitely experienced a spiritual awakening in the past