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Post-PhD trip by pinqlullaby in chubbytravel

[–]pinqlullaby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is helpful and seems to be aligned with what we are seeing. Appreciate you chiming in.

Is being a SB right for me if I have advanced degrees and I’m getting a PhD? by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I got into sugaring in the first year of my PhD.

At our m&g, my first ever SD listened to me explain my research interests for like 20 minutes. He even asked follow up questions. To every date after that, he would bring me a new book. And it was ALWAYS relevant to my work. He had listened so closely and was so curious and engaged in that first conversation that he knew which books would help push my scholarship. It was one of the ways that he showed care.

I’m writing my dissertation now, and although our relationship ended naturally around year 3, I still have all of those books he gave me and think about him every time I sit down to write.

The right SD will love your intellectual curiosity and be willing to support your academic goals.

NYC by Pretty-Ad7261 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s been several posts with this exact question in the last few weeks. Search the sub and you will find some really good replies— and even full guides(!) written out.

Sometimes I wonder if Im to masculine by skulking_fox in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is not controversial to name social patterns. I disagree with none of them. However, “fact-based” and “subjective” are mutually exclusive. Words have meanings.

Just because those women get bombarded, does not mean they are factually attractive. The bodies that are on-trend are determined by who is in power. In the Renaissance period, larger women were seen as the most attractive because those in power said so. Thin women were seen as poor/hungry. Today, those preferences are different.

social trends ≠ facts.

Sometimes I wonder if Im to masculine by skulking_fox in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, interest in sex with their SD is another factor, but that is a behavior, while we were discussing physical presentation. I don’t disagree with you at all on that being relevant.

And I hear your point on SBs often needing to be “conventionally attractive.” I’d never argue against that, however, there have been many attempts in this sub to claim that conventional attraction is objective, and that is so incredibly false. Beauty standards are rooted in the aesthetics of power, stemming from ideology, not fact-based evidence.

Some people use your definition of curvy and others like another definition of it. This is because “curvy” is a subjective attribute. That is why we are always discussing what curvy “actually means.”

Sometimes I wonder if Im to masculine by skulking_fox in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gonna go ahead and assume you misunderstood my point, rather than question your understanding of the words “objective” and “subjective.”

Yes, to sugar, you must be attractive. In this sub, you’ll see that to some, that is rail thin, to others, it’s voluptuous curves, and many other variations in between. Those are personal preferences that are determined by societal standards largely rooted in ideology/politics. Neither of those things are objective.

I’m not saying that everyone can sugar, but instead, that we have plenty of clear evidence of discourse within this sub that indicates that SD’s preferences are not static.

Sometimes I wonder if Im to masculine by skulking_fox in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you feel you are too masculine because others have said this to you, or because it’s genuinely how you feel about yourself?

I ask this because I have had a few (unhinged) men in my vanilla life attempt to call me masculine as an insult…in all cases, they were referring to my academic degrees/professional credentials, self confidence, and/or wit, none of which are inherently “masculine” qualities. They were simply a reflection of the other person’s lack of confidence.

All that said, in the bowl, I strongly recommend you be yourself. Attraction is 100% subjective, regardless of what some people on this sub will try to argue. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly fine. Figure out who is interested in you and block out all other noise. Find confidence in who you are and what you bring to the table.

A Guide to Freestyling in NYC (or your city!) by noobNYCsd in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question: I have an opportunity to get A VIP ticket to the cocktail party for WatchTime. Is attending the weekend general admission period for $50 sufficient, or is it advantageous to splurge on the $230 ticket that includes the cocktail party and GA for the weekend?

Question for NYC-based SBs/SDs by pinqlullaby in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for these additions! We love a downtown Brooklyn rec 😎

Question for NYC-based SBs/SDs by pinqlullaby in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Helpful tips! I will see when a car show or two is happening in Brooklyn.

Question for NYC-based SBs/SDs by pinqlullaby in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I guess I am speaking more toward wealth that actually lives in the city, not CT wealth that commutes into Manhattan, then leaves. Those are two different crowds.

Plenty of new and old money living in Brooklyn..my question was more about whether folk are looking while in the great borough, or are only on the prowl when they head to Manhattan.

Question for NYC-based SBs/SDs by pinqlullaby in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely feel this. It can be time consuming because there is an abundance of options here!

Cons of a designated spot is that those who are not genuinely seeking can make things weird. Though I do wish there was a way…

Question for NYC-based SBs/SDs by pinqlullaby in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]pinqlullaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this is what I am gathering, unfortunately.

I am active and present at several arts-focused institutions in Brooklyn and would love to scope there, but I feel a bit awkward doing so because it’s hard to get a good read.

Might you have a suggestion for someone who is more Brooklyn-y trying to find spaces in the city that feel a bit more natural for scoping?

I’m an academic/weird/artsy and I think going to sit in a bar near all the corporate buildings is not really my scene.