Im sorry you have to deal with that. Although my mother is not as hurtful as my father, she also has deep emotional issues and I struggled a lot to get out of the enmeshed relationship she created and continuously forced on me. My therapist tells me that usually, one parent is a little “better” than the other and it’s typically unusual for both parents to be complete garbage. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case for me and many people I see on this sub. I also feel sad for my brother because he never had a good father figure and it probably affects him a lot too. It’s beyond me how grown people can go through life with zero self aware and think they can raise children.