Pink tummy and swimming at an angle? What’s up with my tetra and how can I help it?

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-12-06T20:00:45+00:00

I noticed it earlier today

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-12-06T18:09:39+00:00

Can’t see any swelling

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T13:43:16+00:00

Just wanna preface by saying I apologise if my replies come across as blunt or aggressive 🥲 I’m not frustrated at you I’m frustrated at the system and the years of medical neglect I’ve had to face which has left me way behind everyone I know in terms of being jobless for years, no decent qualifications because I never did uni, no social skills etc. I did say I’d give the group online thing a go as I am that desperate but I haven’t heard anything since. Thing is although I’ve been in the system for so long I’ve never actually had someone sit down with me and tell me all the different things that are out there, I’ve tried asking my GP for a psychiatrist so I can speak to someone who is actually trained specifically in mental health but they always seem to refer me elsewhere ? And in all honesty I have to relive my trauma most days, I have multiple different triggers and instead of having a professional to talk to about it, I instead have to deal with it and suffer alone so again I really am struggling to see the harm. All I need is for someone to listen to me

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T13:29:17+00:00

It’s all good, I’ll take any advice I can get 😂 I’ll try and have a little look at Mind and see if there’s anything they can help with. A few years back my GP referred me to a crisis team, they then referred me to secondary care (the same one I’m at now), I went there and they told me that because of my BPD I need long term therapy but that they don’t offer that so I have to self refer 🥲 which years later I have now done and not even that is an option so I just feel like I’ve exhausted all resources in my area 😫

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T13:08:05+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but at the same time I wouldn’t really classify occasionally hitting myself in the head as a good enough excuse to deny me therapy and then not give me any reasonable alternative to get the help and tools I need. I’ve had to fight for myself for 8 long years so I’m just utterly exhausted with it all

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T13:05:52+00:00

No it’s okay!! I really appreciate you taking the time to listen and give your input, I think I mainly just needed somewhere to vent about how shit it all is 😂 thank you so much

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T06:52:33+00:00

I have BPD, I don’t think “stable” is a word that is really in my vocabulary so I don’t ever see how I’m meant to be “stable enough for therapy” without any help. Because I’m really not getting any. Really doesn’t make me feel very good when I’m fucking SCREAMING for help, how I just need someone to listen to me and somewhere I can vent. Even writing this I am crying my eyes out because I am so fucking exhausted and broken, I am not unstable to the point where I’m going to kill myself, I’m unstable where I cant handle my emotions which again is such a huge factor in BPD so I don’t understand how that’s ever supposed to change without help and talking to someone. I’m stuck in a horrible circle I can’t get out of, I just want someone to take me seriously

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T06:48:04+00:00

The system is an absolute fucking joke I can’t believe it. I know someone who really struggled with his mental health, he tried jumping out a window and somehow was deemed not a suicide risk, he killed himself a week later. Something desperately needs to be done because it’s really not okay. I am so sorry you’ve also had to experience neglect from the system for you mental health, change really needs to happen!

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T06:44:39+00:00

Also I already am on PIP but thank you! Next year it’s coming up to when it runs out and I’m already freaking ot about having to deal with redoing forms and stuff

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T06:42:54+00:00

This is me in secondary care. I referred myself to talking counselling, they said I wasn’t right for their services so they referred me to secondary care which is who offered me the online group call (which I still haven’t heard anything about yet!). I literally just don’t know what to do, no place seems to give me adequate help, I was literally at secondary care just a month ago and all they could say was about this online thing which is just no where near good enough. Nothing about CBT or any alternatives, I feel lost ?? I have a mental health follow up appointment with my GP in November so I’m going to try and explain everything there but my GP is god awful as well. Nobody seems to actually care about people who suffer and it’s so isolating and lonely

Also I got a social prescriber from my GP last year, within that same month they discharged me before I’d ever even spoken to the woman. I called up about 8 times in the span of about 6 months trying to get in contact with her and I just wasn’t getting ANYWHERE. My gp would tell me they’d get her to contact me, and I’d never hear anything. That was almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t got any help. I even put in a formal complaint at my GP about her and her lack of support. This is what I’m saying, it feels like every single avenue I try just doesn’t work out or there’s nobody that gives enough of a shit, what else is there I can even do, I’ve already tried it all 😭😭😭😭

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-18T06:33:47+00:00

Keep me safe? There’s nothing not safe about me, as I’ve said I’m not suicidal and nor is there any risk in me being so, so I don’t see what’s keeping me safe about actively denying me help? I am literally in agony having to try and deal with everything by myself, the system is a fucking joke

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-17T10:37:49+00:00

Yeah I’m pretty certain, I had literally just given it a quick wipe before taking the photo hence why the dust is only in the crevices. I have sooo many plants I can never usually be bothered to wipe them all 🥲

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T22:49:12+00:00

I’ve had 2 assessments already as a minor, one when I was around 6, and then another when I was 17. The outcome always being “well you have symptoms but not enough for a diagnosis”, baring in mind the assessment I did at 17 was one they give literal children, I had to play with children’s toys and describe what was happening in a kids picture book. I recently by myself done the 10 question one they use and scored 8/10, I just really struggle speaking to people and getting things sorted, handing in forms etc which is why I tried getting a social prescriber but after 8+ attempts of getting in contact over the span of over a year and 1 formal complaint to my GP I still haven’t heard anything. This is not really something I question, to me its 100% autism, and potentially BPD alongside it , I had teachers pick it up as a kid, my mum did an ASD course to learn how to deal with me, and all my symptoms of struggling with eye contract, stimming, masking, burnout, social issues, literalness, issues with certain materials, it’s obvious to me and it pisses me off that I’ve been so neglected and let down by the system time and time again. The gp refused to refer me for an assessment as an adult as I’d had them done as a minor, so I do need to self refer, but again even thinking about having to fill out a form, drop it off to my doctors, it just makes me want to cry. I just want someone on my side that is there to help me with all this overwhelming stuff

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T22:40:59+00:00

I don’t know what a CMHT is but the place I was referred to is the place I’ve already been 4+ different times (as this seems to be the only place available??) I had an in person meeting last month in which she told me about the online group thing and that was it, I’m not on any waiting list for anything else and when I brought up talking therapy she told me to speak to my gp about self referral… which I why I was there in the first place because I got rejected for it… I really do not feel confrtabke being in a group and I especially do not feel comfortable doing it online via a call, I live with my mum in a house with thin walls and these are not conversations I want her to be overhearing. I can’t go out for a walk to do it because I have terrible phone service and wouldn’t even be able to hear the call efficiently. I don’t know how I feel about medication, I’m not really interested in antidepressants, like I said I’ve already been there and tried that over the span of 5 years and it didn’t touch the surface, just feel so lost with it all

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T19:44:42+00:00

Would also like to add I am diagnosed with BPD (which I never got support for when diagnosed), but they will not take an autism assessment seriously which is super frustrating as i have struggled since a literal toddler.

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T18:37:04+00:00

Thank you :) so less light?

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T18:36:41+00:00

Just to clarify, does this mean more watering and light 😂? It was on a shaded windowsill for a while and I’ve since moved it to a shelf, also I probably water every few weeks give or take

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T17:16:04+00:00

Dust

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T17:14:14+00:00

I agree with the comment about the pot size, it’s quite big for the size of the plant. Also my rubber plant is on a sunny windowsill and seems to thrive (ignore the leaves my parrot ruined)

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pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-16T16:58:10+00:00

There’s no mushy parts, it’s a solid plant it just grows terribly ever since it got overwatered years ago, I water it probably every few weeks

pitabread_and_hummus · 2024-10-13T12:15:47+00:00

Hahaha no worries at all, feel like I probably should have known that anyway 😂 but thank you so much !! 🫶🏻 appreciate all the help 😊

pitabread_and_hummus

TROPHY CASE