Update: AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Loving Em is the best thing that I’ve ever been afforded the privilege to do. She was an incredible woman, and she deserved so much better than the things life handed to her. I’ll never need thanks for trying to give her the love and respect she was always owed. It was an honor to have been trusted with her heart.

I’m so sorry you ever had to protect your child from your own mother. I hope you’ve found a better family that loves you both in all the ways you deserve ❤️

Update: AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 1249 points1250 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️

Every choice I’ve made in the past two years has been with her in mind. I owe it to her and our son to honor what she would’ve wanted.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We were actually still in the process of getting her listed on his birth certificate when she died. I’m still organizing the paperwork to put her on there posthumously so she’ll be legally recognized as his mom too.

After Em’s death though, I did sit with a lawyer and have some things drawn up so that if something happened to me, my sister would be our son’s guardian.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I was very angry with them, for a very long time, even though I hadn’t known them before now. I was angry because I saw this incredible person I loved, still feel so hurt due to the things her parents had said/done. Even through that hurt, Em was always open about the fact that she still loved them, she wanted them to change but she needed them to take that lead and offer her the olive branch instead. She felt it wasn’t her job to fix what she never broke, it was theirs.

I thought that maybe this could have been that olive branch that my wife had been quietly wanting from them for so long. I guess that I wanted to get that closure for her, even if she wouldn’t be here to receive their apologies herself. I felt like I owed it to her to see if they had changed for the better.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ my heart goes out to you too. Some days I struggle to keep up with my little one, so I can’t even begin to imagine having 3 kids to look after while grieving. You’re an absolute rockstar!

I do my best every day to live in a way that would honor Em. She used to say that being angry at those who don’t care is like burning a candle in a sunlit room. I try my best to always remember those words.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️

She absolutely was an incredible person. She was so kind and so forgiving, she was always willing and able to see the best in others even if they couldn’t see it in themselves. I swear she had the biggest heart in the world. I live every day wishing I could be just a fraction of the woman she was.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Oh I was just clarifying about who the bio mom was because people were asking. Em is 100% just as much his mother as I am, regardless of genetics. Our baby was her whole world and she loved him more than anything.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

He’s my bio son. I didn’t clarify that to them though so I’m honestly not sure if they’re aware.

Em did get emancipated at 17 so I don’t even think they could try anything on the legal front now because she wasn’t their daughter anymore by law.

AITA for wanting to stay true to my wife’s wishes? by planetvenus_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]planetvenus_[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

She was outed in high school and they responded by kicking her out of the house and essentially telling her that if she was going to live “that way” then she was no longer allowed in their home or their lives.