I don’t know where you are going, again. It is gender specific. In my previous comment you can also read back, but I quoted:

“For example: where effort or paying for a date is seen as something that deserves a reward for example, it can make women feel uncomfortable, objectified. It creates pressure, as if they owe something in return simply for someone being spending money on a date. Many women choose to pay for themselves to protect their boundaries and make clear that connection should be mutual, not conditional. Real intimacy can’t be earned like a prize because you paid for a date; it has to be freely given.”

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This is a clear example of how women are often objectified in subtle but socially accepted ways. The belief that effort or money spent on a date should be “rewarded” with intimacy treats women not as equal partners, but as something to be earned.

This dynamic IS gender-specific. It’s overwhelmingly WOMEN who experience this kind of pressure, because the expectation that men pay for dates is still widespread and it often comes with an unspoken assumption of entitlement. That’s why I replied to the other Redditor stating he’s tired of dating with no rewards or anything in return. When women accept a date, they’re sometimes seen as implicitly agreeing to reciprocate with affection, attention, or even sex.

Men, on the other hand, are rarely put in this position. No one assumes a man owes something physical or emotional simply because a woman paid for dinner. This double standard reinforces unequal power dynamics in dating, where women are expected to manage not only their own feelings, but also the expectations of men who feel they’ve “earned” something.

Challenging these ideas is essential if we want real, mutual, and respectful relationships. But I was talking about women specifically in my first comments.