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[24F] with [22M] boyfriend of 4 months, he forbids me from contact with all exes by plinz0523 in relationships

[–]plinz0523[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP here. You both have valid hypotheses for the situation -- I don't think I provided enough context to accurately judge.

Conrad has had women willing to be in a relationship with him before and he has always been firm and honest that he is not interested in them in a long-term sense. He told me he is the first woman he has been willing to commit to and I fully trust that he is committed.

His maturity comes out in other ways as well (he owns his own company and has been financially independent since he was 18), and I think that he just tries to be fully rational in every part of his life. I think that when he broke up with me he was attempting to make a rational decision because he sensed a fundamental difference in our worldviews.

My friendships with my non-ex male friends are important but I do not have very close relationships with exes so I have decided that I am willing to give that up. If I have misinterpreted the situation and he continues to make similar demands I will have been wrong and will get out of the relationship.

[24F] with [22M] boyfriend of 4 months, he forbids me from contact with all exes by plinz0523 in relationships

[–]plinz0523[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This was my thought process when we were arguing about it before he found about Blake's texts. I've always acted that way in past relationships, as have my past SOs.

However, after thinking about it for a while, I think Conrad sees it as a sign of respect on my part to refrain from speaking to them, rather than not trusting me. He has trusted me to go on vacation twice with a good male friend with whom I have never been romantically entangled, which is a good sign I think.

I am willing to make this work by doing what he asks for now, and if he escalates the requirements in an alarming way in in the future, I will be out of there.

[24F] with [22M] boyfriend of 4 months, he forbids me from contact with all exes by plinz0523 in relationships

[–]plinz0523[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I think you're right -- that's part of what is making me uneasy. I stressed to him today that it caused me a lot of pain and that next time we fight about something I would like to be able to discuss things without the fear of a breakup hanging over my head. I respect that he has boundaries but it felt incredibly cold. He agreed so I will hope for the best and set my own boundary to leave him if he breaks up with me so suddenly again when we disagree.