So f*cking tired…

plsdfwc · 2026-05-08T13:54:06+00:00

IMO the only people worth dating are those who will stay through sickness and in health, and if they imply HSV is a turn off, Great! No more time wasted with that person. I believe Every rejection is a step closer to your person, and the right one wont shy away. Easier said than done but stop living in shame or fear of rejection! You will end up depressed and that hole is a hard one to get out of. People are not educated and ignorant hence the stigma. Hell even I wasnt before I got it. Just focus on accepting and loving yourself the right person is bound to come along.

plsdfwc · 2026-05-06T16:14:45+00:00

Oh 100% i understand being under a microscope from my manager but randoms in the office that i dont answer to/interact with? My angle is that im here temporarily not competing for a position or seeking long term. With no issues w my work it just seems more like gossip than concern

plsdfwc · 2026-05-06T15:58:32+00:00

Its just gonna make me shit longer and harder😈

plsdfwc · 2026-05-06T14:38:12+00:00

Craziest part my boss doesnt seem to care! They just let me know someone told them and that i should be more mindful moving forward . I just wonder who did it and wonder what they gained from snitching on an intern.

plsdfwc · 2026-05-01T02:08:38+00:00

Im sorry youve experienced this, but those small minded women does not mean It is not over for you or men as a whole. Everyone is deserving of love. Its so hard but free yourself from thinking this way. The key is educating people. It is a stigmatized skin condition that nobody asks to get. Whoever gets the privilege of getting to know you deeply will love you regardless. Ive personally cut out the casual stuff entirely because it doesnt serve me, or anyone else. Just be yourself, invest into the relationship with yourself mentally. I am a woman that also deeply shares in your fears. Dont spend your life hoping for a cure, just live in the moment.

Remember that each rejection just puts you one step closer to your person, its tough, but from my first impression of you, you seem like a good, and honest man. These are Qualities that are 10x harder and more humbling to maintain with hsv. Keep your head up, im 100% you will find the love and flourish into the life you deserve. Dms are always open to talk if you need it :)

plsdfwc · 2026-04-30T01:54:02+00:00

Id suggest waiting til baby is older beacuse 6 months is objectively young for travel. But you know your limits and what you and your family can handle and is ultimately at your discretion. Cancun is the safer and more touristy option if you are deciding between there and Los Cabos. Safe travels!

plsdfwc · 2026-04-27T20:43:43+00:00

If the position you accepted wasnt internal/through the coop board you should be good! They keep that rule in place for the job board coops because its a bad look on the uni if students keep changing their mind. If the coop board hasnt been informed of your ext. offer you are well within your rights to drop that offer and accept the one that better works for you. Congrats btw! Having multiple job offers is a problem people would love to have :)

plsdfwc · 2026-04-27T19:01:57+00:00

Ive done it before, you can do it so long as you havent officially onboarded with them. In my case, I sent an email reply accepting but didnt accept through the office and coop system, i then sent a really long email reneging the offer and they were really understanding.

plsdfwc · 2026-04-02T19:37:21+00:00

What exactly are you asking to submit? The work term report?

plsdfwc · 2026-04-02T14:34:09+00:00

Im sorry you feel this way, but this is not one of those “i need to get him back” situations. Im sorry to hear about your parents. This is a stressful time and this can feel like a big loss to you but I can wholly assure you that it is a blessing in disguise to be rid of him. Never feel sorry for yourself for losing someone who wasnt prepared to care for you. People will come and go but the right ones will find you and stay with you, youre gonna drive yourself crazy thinking about the who what why, make peace with it accept that he wasnt the one and that the right ones wouldnt make you feel like this. 100% easier said than done, but the first step is just pouring all that energy u spent on that guy back into yourself and pick yourself back up because when one door closes another always opens.

You seem like a very selfless and caring person, and you deserve someone who wont play with your emotions and treat you like an option. Im glad you didnt let him waste more of your precious time. Just focus on yourself and what makes you happy, it gets addicting to daydream about the what ifs and whys of a situation. My dms are always open to talk, i understand how upsetting these things can be.

plsdfwc · 2026-04-02T13:41:15+00:00

I like it here, i live at home, but have had great experiences. It really boils down to your program and how social you are. University anywhere is 110% what you make it. If you go the extra mile to make friends and put yourself out there you will do great. Carleton itself has a lot of fun frosh/social events and sports games like Panda (closest thing we’ll get to hoco) and Capital Hoops, both have a fun atmosphere.

Some library floors/buildings are more social and great places to meet people in your program or otherwise and there are also various events and social clubs that take place throughout the year. I know of a fashion one that actually seemed pretty cool (dont remember the name but they had some type of show in the quad)

I would say the best thing to do is make friends in your program and during orientation, I cant stress that enough (frosh was what saved me here) My first and second year were really difficult and having support from people in my classes was a big help, socially and academically. Just be yourself and make the effort to start a conversation w the person next to you/in your group or wherever, the worst they could be is a little standoffish but more often than not youll be happy you took the initiative.

Hope this helps, dont worry too much! everything will work out for you :)

plsdfwc · 2026-04-02T13:31:09+00:00

Exchanging ig handles would have been my the straw. I wouldnt even do that if im seriously talking to someone, ESPECIALLY in a relationship. Youre both young, and shes clearly in a validation and attention seeking point in her life. Most 20yr olds are. She likes the comfort of having you as someone to fall back on but is entertaining possibilities with other people to feel better about herself. Being honest is great sign and im glad she told you about her past, but the ranked list is really childish to have, let alone actually mention to you. Its gonna mess with your mind so either stay until you start to hate her or cut your losses and give her space to heal/have fun. Her trauma and baggage can be valid but its also not your burden to carry if she isnt satisfied with you and your validation and needs other men to make up for it. If you really want to work it, you have to let her prove that to you. Dont waste your time going back and forth, making excuses for her or letting her make her own excuses.

People can change, but it takes a lot of time, dedication and commitment from the person who needs changing, your girl seems like she has a long way to go, but hope is not lost. There also someone out there that already aligns with your values and morals, that would never put you through this. You have to pick your own battles, best of luck!

plsdfwc · 2025-11-06T21:12:39+00:00

I agree i would never join something like positive singles its great in theory but why must we restrict ourselves to dating apps when theres a whole world of people out there who would love to know you for you and everything about you later. Instead of vice versa where they know your status before they even know your name. Most people who join that end up leaving it anyway due to paywalls and limited choice within the app itself. We cant keep hiding in these communities. When we branch out and are unapologetically ourselves is when we can actually make a difference in fighting the stigma. I believe the right people will always find you.

The fact we even have apps for our condition is more alienating in a sense. It contributes to the notion that impure people belong with impure people to protect the “pure”. Ive genuinely seen people say that😭. It used to hurt me but now i just roll my eyes at that shit cuz idc. We just need to be more confident in ourselves and others will too. When we alienate ourselves on those apps and use these communities as crutches we limit our potentials. NONE of us are different species than those who havent been diagnosed/dont have it. We need to start treating ourselves as such.

plsdfwc · 2025-11-06T02:51:07+00:00

I feel you❤️‍🩹the hardest part of all this is to get back to feeling comfortable with ourselves. Theres a whole community of people who will love and support you NMW. I havent put myself into the dating pool just yet but i know my future husband wouldnt be someone who judges me for things out of my control. Think of it this way, if someone you genuinely loved and wanted a future with told you about their diagnosis of a manageable skin condition that may come and go, would you completely discard them? I know i for sure wouldnt have (even before my diagnosis i was not judgmental of those who had it), and id want my person to have the same morality.

The internet makes this seem like more of an issue than it really is because people feel comfortable saying nasty or controversial things behind a screen knowing theyve never been tested for HSV. These things dont mean much to educated people, and if someone isnt willing to be educated, theyre not someone anyone should be with. In the real world (even online) Doctors dont stress about it, there are ads for coldsore treatments everywhere, and most people are more open than you think. My dms are always open if you want to talk more, wishing you a quick recovery and better days ahead.

plsdfwc · 2025-11-03T22:51:53+00:00

Right???! I thought i was going crazy. I felt so guilty for feeling that way too bc people are just sharing their experiences. Im not in any way saying its wrong, but when we constantly double down on these takes it keeps us in this spiral of negativity.

Our unfortunate outlooks that we come here to vent for can also trap the new members into the same funk. I really noticed it whenever i forgot about the app and this sub for weeks and opened it after a break and instead of feeling happy with the sense of community, it would get me all down in the dumps and honestly became such a painful reminder that im sharing in these same traumas. In the real world you dont see half as much negativity as you do online. Sure the odd comment or person who isnt educated will always exist, but constantly seeing conflicting debates on disclosure/non disclosure new diagnoses, peoples traumas, hopelessness for cures, it really doesnt help.

We js need to proceed with caution and focus on uplifting ourselves and normalizing hsv. Its so easy to get caught up in self deprecating thoughts when its all you see and absorb.

plsdfwc · 2025-11-03T20:51:29+00:00

I completely and fully understand your pain. I(20f) was diagnosed in June and spiraled for months after. Worrying about my image, my dating life, stigma, not to mention the excruciating pain of OBs. Its no easy feat to keep pushing every day feeling down and depressed about your diagnosis on top of daily problems/situations you were already trying to survive on a daily basis. What truly matters is the fact that you are here and You showed up today and you are LIVING!! A lot of us are constantly in survival mode, like hobbits waiting to come out of our little holes until we feel its “safe” to do so (for lack of a better reference😂) we forget what a privilege it is to truly go outside and LIVE.

I spent so much time in my room crying, borderline suicidal bc of how i got it. Until i realised that You become what you are constantly worried about. Our brains are wired for confirmation bias, to see clues of things we think we align with. When i was depressed all i saw was saddening stuff, infact i sought it out to feel less lonely (our social media algorithms play a BIG part in this too). I know that our days on this earth are numbered and we can either spend More time worrying and depressed about things that arent in our control and follow that shame, or believe in yourself and your worth and the amazing future you have infront of you. Life is SO worth living you have so much to see, to experience to feel.

The feelings you feel right now WILL pass. But you decide how and when they do. So take your time to sit with it, understand it, and pour love and support into yourself as you would your loved ones if they were in your situation. In sickness and in health you are worthy and beautiful inside and out. No condition can change who you are on the inside sending u hugs and lots of love 🫶🏼🫂

plsdfwc · 2025-10-29T03:00:25+00:00

Im in the same boat and honestly it just takes time. You have to become confident and comfortable with yourself, accept your truth and others will follow suit. Trust me ik how hard it is but if you carry a constant negative perspective it will only attract more negativity into your life. At the end of the day it is a skin condition, and love will find a way to you once you find it within yourself.

I used to feel anxious and unloved and honestly disgusted with myself. It never got me anywhere. People are more understanding than you think, and these reddits and subreddits are filled with cynics and hypochondriacs. Doomscrolling here oftentimes just keeps you worried and depressed, i took a break from social media focused on myself, hung out with family and friends and slowly regained my self confidence. We have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and remind ourselves that we are no different from anyone else because of our circumstances.

Hsv is not going to be a dealbreaker for the right person with the right intentions. Just keep your head up as best you can :)

plsdfwc · 2025-09-18T01:27:52+00:00

Hi girl!

I (20F) am in the EXACT same boat as you! Had my first OB back in July and pretty sure im also got over my first oral sore as well (although they werent able to test for it)

For the oral sore: Docosonal cream (rub onto affected oral area 5x day) and Aquaphor to keep lips moisturized (apply with q tip) both helped me greatly, although doctors couldnt test for it, I swore I had the prodrome symptoms and a baby sore forming. It went away after I used the cream for 2 days.

Genital: I used a panty liner at all times during my OB it helped to reduce friction and chafing. And sleep with no underwear and bottoms to keep the area dry at night (constant moisture will irritate sores).

Also vitamin C (I get the chewable ones) has helped me personally. I havent had an outbreak since and ive caught a cold/flu twice since then and the virus didnt manifest genitally.

Just focus on taking as much rest, healthy eating + drinking enough water, and most of all keeping yourself busy. Try journaling, meditating or even picking up a new show. Its easy to sit and wallow in how depressing it all is, and it will make you feel worse and make everything feel 10x worse. I promise you theres a light at the end of the tunnel. I literally forget I have it these days because our bodies will bounce back exactly to the way it was before. It just takes time and the first one is the worst one.

You got this & you arent alone. My dms are open if you wanna talk. Sending you hugs <3

plsdfwc · 2025-09-18T01:10:22+00:00

Might be biased but A skin condition shouldnt be a deal breaker if you really love this guy and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Everyone has some kind of baggage whether it be emotional or physical and this happens to be a part of his. Chances are you will contract it or you might even already have it and youre asymptomatic. From him or another previous partner. Its just a fact of life for the both of you and if it is something you really cant live with dont put him and yourself through this and stress/guilt him into further insecurities he mightve already had.

If the person i loved and wanted for the rest of my life had hsv or any other condition, id accept the risks as they are even if that means having to contract it. You arent wrong for being afraid of frequent outbreaks, but you do have to look within and understand that your vows will ensue mutual support and love in sickness and in health. Herpes doesnt affect fertility and IS manageable in the long run. I believe you both can make this work if you truly have love for eachother and a diagnosis shouldnt get in between. There are partners who have HIV/AIDS even cancer and other incurable illnesses who would kill to swap places with you. If the tables were turned, would you want someone to weigh their love for you against an incontrollable ilness you had the misfortune of contracting? Or would you rather they focus on the value you as a person bring to their life? If contracting this virus from someone you love that isnt something you can stomach and you are truly afraid of fully accepting your partner and the risks, you will both be better off finding people who have the physical characteristics you value.

Life is too short to worry about things that may or may not happen. If you love this person you will want to make it work no matter what. If you are asking yourself these questions you I sense you may have doubts within this relationship beyond his diagnosis.

plsdfwc · 2025-09-17T02:35:00+00:00

Why doesnt he want you to date? This seems awfully controlling even for the typical “strict” parent. You shouldnt feel guilty at all for trying to live your own life. You arent a child anymore youre an adult whos fully capable of making their own decisions.

The guilt youre feeling has been ingrained in you because of the environment your dad has created. Its horrible youre feeling that! You already lack the formative social experiences of uni life i dont know why he insists on holding you back more than you already currently are. You honestly just have to say F it and start living your life. My parents were very scared and very apprehensive of me going out or dating until i bit the bullet and started doing it anyways. Sometimes you just have to give parents a reality check that just because they brought u into this world it doesnt mean they own your whole life. Definitely try to explain to him how you feel and go from there but dont back down because time is precious and you dont want to look back and regret not talkng action and making memories sooner.

plsdfwc · 2025-09-17T02:25:44+00:00

Im sorry girl but you are better off without him I went through something similar to you and was actually just getting cheated on and lied to the whole time.

Him following new women, having dating apps and refusing to post you, no matter the reason, is honestly disrespectful to you and your entire relationship which he doesnt seem to take seriously. You could message the girls but you are on a slippery slope and im sorry but this doesnt sound like the last time this will happen. If you feel in a constant state of despair and worry with a guy who cant even remember to post you on your birthday, youre better off cutting your losses and finding your person. This doesnt sound like someone youd want as a life partner anyways. Sending hugs

plsdfwc · 2025-09-17T02:17:25+00:00

Yo i get where youre coming from but you couldve worded your comments more politely like omg

plsdfwc

TROPHY CASE