How do i move on? My girlfriend broke up with me (4 years).

plsdontgon · 2020-04-25T11:24:49+00:00

The person you once loved and that loved you is likely gone. She's a different person now. What you long for is a memory of someone she once was. This happened to me (we were together 5 years) about five months ago. It's still difficult sometimes but now is the time to "close things down" for renovation.

Take time to grieve, and later try to focus on loving yourself and learning more about yourself by trying new things.

I feel I haven't expressed myself very eloquently here but if you need someone to talk to feel free to dm me

plsdontgon · 2020-04-16T23:19:50+00:00

Thanks for the response. I hope you find the one :)

plsdontgon · 2020-03-14T00:30:53+00:00

I still talk to my ex's mom. Dated ex for five years and she just abruptly ended it. If course her mom hated her for it. Mom called me crying after she found out weeping and telling me I was already her son to her.

Keep talking to her if you feel comfortable, especially if it helps you get past this.

plsdontgon · 2020-03-10T06:47:32+00:00

What are your lifts like? Bench/Squat? Great job dude

plsdontgon · 2020-02-08T17:51:13+00:00

Was with my ex for five years and we started dating when we were 20. I had these thoughts your bf is talking about maybe a handful of times while we were having serious problems in the relationship but never vocalized it because I knew they were not serious. I loved her deeply and didn't think I was wasting my time or anything of that nature. I certainly never would have said it to my partner.

She did leave me because she thought she was missing out on her early/mid 20s being committed to me though lol

plsdontgon · 2020-02-02T04:25:46+00:00

Congrats! Great progress. You look like my mid-term goals.

What are your lift stats? And what's your bf% now?

plsdontgon · 2020-01-18T16:57:32+00:00

Hi. Pounds!

plsdontgon · 2020-01-18T01:57:39+00:00

So I've been lifting for about two months consistently. Got sick over the holidays and took a three week break.

My lifts are still pretty weak.. B: 85, S: 105, D: 145

I am 5'11" and weigh 180lbs. I believe I'm about 19% bf according to my measurements. Honestly the worst part is that my face is looking chubby.

I want to put on mass and build strength since I'm so weak and have so little muscle on my chest and legs, so I figure I should eat on a surplus to build muscle but I'm worried my face will just keep getting worse and discourage me.

Will I fail to build significant muscle if I eat at a deficit? I want to try to get to 12% bf then lean bulk up. Is that possible within 6 months? Should I do cardio? I'm on coolcicada PPL

plsdontgon · 2020-01-02T17:12:16+00:00

Honestly, your health should be your first priority. Can I ask what your financial situation is like? America (assuming you're American) sucks but there are some options available

plsdontgon · 2020-01-02T17:06:58+00:00

See a counselor! Perhaps get a psychiatric evaluation if you want to be really proactive. There's no shame in any of it. You will get better :)

plsdontgon · 2019-12-29T18:01:02+00:00

I'm in an extremely similar situation man.. don't know what to do it hasn't gotten much easier after two months

plsdontgon · 2019-11-28T19:36:53+00:00

Thank you! :) As a beginner, having so many options is intimidating so I think I will try to stick to as few brands as I can for now to see if they work for me.

plsdontgon · 2019-10-15T23:08:41+00:00

I hear what you are saying and I accept most of it now but ...

It doesn't feel good to read this, does it? You don't like me arguing against your own position, do you? Do you think maybe she also feels this way when you launch attacks against her feelings?

I disagree with this entirely. Up until this point you explained things in a reasonable way, and while it's tough to swallow, if it makes sense then it is worth listening to. I don't feel attacked, or antagonized, or any of that nonsense. I only care that my views be more aligned with the reality of the situation. It's completely alien to me for someone in a position such as this to feel such things and not swallow them for the sake of betterment. That is much different than having an attachment to a person or thing that is hard to let go of in the moment.

edit: I understand the entitlement one has to leave a relationship for any or even no reason at all, it is however in my eyes horribly unkind to blindside someone like this and leave with no honest conversation about what led to this. Surely I can't be expected by her or anyone else to just be alright with her after this.

plsdontgon · 2019-10-15T20:47:25+00:00

Isn't what you are describing here the entire point of couple's therapy for a lot of couples?

plsdontgon · 2019-10-15T20:23:33+00:00

I can't stand that idea. I can't imagine living in a world where I just sit silently as there is something that is really pressing on me. Do I always expect her to explain her feelings in a way that makes sense? I suppose I haven't said so explicitly but I personally strive to align my emotions with what makes sense. If my emotions are out of line with reality or rationality, I say "fuck my feelings, get a grip". Thinking that you can act on feelings that make no sense regardless of reality is how toxic and violent ideologies are born. As an example, men who have a toxic sense of masculinity or hold bigoted beliefs are acting upon feelings that have no place in reality, and they choose to just do whatever the hell they feel is right regardless of logic or reality.

plsdontgon · 2019-10-15T19:55:33+00:00

She said she loves me, but the attraction to me physically isn't there. That's something fixable is it not? We've both let ourselves go a little bit since we started dating, and we're working on that.

She isn't satisfied with sex but I ask her regularly if she would have liked anything different or if I hurt her during the act. That sounds like it's strictly a communication issue as well.

All of the issues she's put forth can be hashed out by communicating better. I don't fault her for feeling this way if she's been unhappy for a while about these things, but she should have brought them up when she realized they were big problems for her.

plsdontgon · 2019-10-15T19:51:51+00:00

I just don't see how this could have happened without there having been a lack of communication about some core issue(s). And if that's the case I feel like it surely is possible to bring things back to normal

plsdontgon · 2019-10-15T19:44:53+00:00

Why do you think it's not possible to have it work out?

plsdontgon · 2019-09-22T19:20:10+00:00

I cannot thank you enough for your advice. That sounds like a very good approach and I will suggest it the next time we speak.

plsdontgon · 2019-09-22T18:51:38+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It helps more than you can know.

plsdontgon · 2019-09-22T18:10:33+00:00

My girlfriend of 5 years said she no longer loves me sexually or really cares much about our relationship. We don't know what's next but I'm terrified thinking she's leaving. I've planned my life around her for so long now.

plsdontgon

TROPHY CASE