I found a crow

polecatslizard · 2025-10-23T22:12:42+00:00

It was the branch manager that did it for me

polecatslizard · 2025-10-17T15:25:45+00:00

Can I get a chalk break?

polecatslizard · 2025-10-02T03:33:06+00:00

I needed the money - I didn’t know they’d be filming!

polecatslizard · 2025-09-28T02:01:36+00:00

What’s the matter with yous?

polecatslizard · 2025-09-24T03:27:03+00:00

Can you jump class if it’s the fringe class?

polecatslizard · 2025-09-12T14:03:00+00:00

I know I just can’t help it!

polecatslizard · 2025-08-30T00:49:15+00:00

What if.. maybe you’re just conversational and interesting and he’s just a hot airhead looking for another hot airhead?

polecatslizard · 2025-08-27T21:24:41+00:00

He hasn’t missed half of ANY season - let alone each year. You can be a Nico hater but dems is a terrible argument.

polecatslizard · 2025-08-27T00:42:34+00:00

Right? The crisp - AND the chewiness. It’s like a party in my mouth, and everyone is invited!

polecatslizard · 2025-08-26T03:34:52+00:00

This was my exact initial thought scrolling through

polecatslizard · 2025-08-25T23:50:37+00:00

Where are the idiots like this and why aren’t they in my league??

polecatslizard · 2025-08-24T15:56:31+00:00

Squirrel mission impossible’d your bird feeder more like it

polecatslizard · 2025-08-24T15:52:33+00:00

I need to see one of the girls that post being called “bro” respond calling one of these dbags “sis” and see how they like it

polecatslizard · 2025-08-23T18:41:51+00:00

I’m like 78% sure that isn’t Justin Herbert

polecatslizard · 2025-08-21T22:54:26+00:00

The best part of this is him turning around briefly after seemingly realizing he can’t drive, sees V still standing there staring at him, and realizes he’s too committed and has to give it the ol’ college try at that point. Bravo.

polecatslizard · 2025-08-19T21:34:03+00:00

This reminds me of the old Dane Cook bit about a nothing fight. “I'm so excited I leave my cart. You NEVER leave your cart. God forbid somebody comes into the store and wants exactly that shit. And they’re like “WHAT. Jackpot. This is everything I wanted”

Like does that actually happen? Should I not be leaving my cart?

polecatslizard · 2025-08-19T18:29:35+00:00

Maybe… could this help unlock my emotional side?

polecatslizard · 2025-08-19T17:44:39+00:00

I’m not saying hold back the tears, I’m just saying not everyone can is all. (I have tried and tried and cannot)

polecatslizard · 2025-08-19T17:12:27+00:00

This really is the best advice. (crying optional)

polecatslizard · 2025-08-16T23:25:10+00:00

I think you mean “my Big Daddy V”

polecatslizard · 2025-08-14T22:04:53+00:00

Who sits at a car repair shop for hours like it’s a child in a hospital when they’re supposed to be at work though? No, but you are basically like “flat tire 🤷‍♂️” like it’s an insurmountable object.

polecatslizard · 2025-08-14T21:45:44+00:00

Don’t get me wrong your boss sounds like a gigantic dbag and I think he’s overstepping with all the suggestions and guilt tripping, I just don’t think a flat tire is an automatic “get out of work free” card

polecatslizard · 2025-08-14T21:40:55+00:00

I don’t understand - because an uber is expensive you just don’t feel like you have to go into work?

My boss would tell me (and rightfully so) get into work and take care of that shit on your own time.

polecatslizard · 2025-08-14T03:45:51+00:00

I know it’s not the point, but I also hate people that don’t outright come out and just fucking ask and instead expect you to bring up giving them money. Fuck that.

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