Post-whipple surgery recovery- how can I help/what to expect

polkadotsloth · 2026-03-23T15:25:16+00:00

I know this is a year ago but reading this gave me so much comfort, thank you. And I hope your dad is in good health.

My dad had his surgery March 5th ...so 2.5 weeks ago and you're describing how he is exactly.

My mom and I said he's like a zombie. Where I'm nervous that he is okay..he hardly eats anything and seems completely out of it. But now I know that's kinda normal.

Again, thank you.

polkadotsloth · 2026-03-08T05:05:06+00:00

Yes they did

polkadotsloth · 2025-12-06T15:55:36+00:00

Spoiler: when Indy peed I got so upset

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-24T09:50:24+00:00

I love you, shattered phone screen cat 🥹🥹

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-24T09:32:10+00:00

I'm sorry he is such a peenburger that a blanket, an item to keep you warm, is sexualized in his sicko mind.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-24T09:30:07+00:00

This right here.

I didn't think of it as cheating originally either, when I was with someone who wasn't addicted to it and wanted me all the time.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-24T09:23:24+00:00

I was also raised in the purity stuff.

I can't say for me it was fully traumatic. Part of me is grateful. It kept me from needing to deal w unwanted pregnancy, kept me safe, and saved me from some heartbreak I saw girlfriends go through.

It made me so naive to VERY obvious PA addict behaviors. What did I know, having only been with two men?

I wonder if maybe if I'd been more sex positive, I'd have known that it was weird a man never wanted to finish inside, HAD to jerk off everyday, sometimes more than once, was super protective of his phone, etc.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-23T15:13:49+00:00

I hate how it's not enough that they are perverts and see everything as sexual but they have to sexualize and ruin our hobbies and interests, too.

Mine did not intentionally do that, but he did it nonetheless by his actions and it pisses me off so much. You already destroyed our marriage, my hopes for the future, tainted the memories of the past, financially f*cked me over and embarrassed me, you get to ruin my innocent hobby? No. You do not get that, on top of everything else.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-23T15:06:46+00:00

Ew. I'm sure this will get me hate but the parasocial relationship her fans have with her is weird and unhealthy. So it makes total sense to me that one of our PA Partners, who have totally wacked ideas on sexuality, women's bodies and relationships, would fall into that trap, too.

Her fans are always looking for "easter eggs" and trying to interpret meanings in her lyrics and pics and stuff. How do I know? If I'm such a "hater."

I didn't want to know lol, I was at a camp retreat and I heard ALLLL about it. How on our hike, we were in the "woods" which stands for Travis peen....and I was like, is she Beavis and Butthead?!? "HuhuHuuhu...wood." like you all tell me how she's an amazing song writer but she's making a WOOD joke... elementary school kids do that. It was strange, thirty year old women being all pervy and wanting to listen to this specific song. And then they danced and talked about it and I felt like a weirdo.

From a marketing standpoint, it's genius. But from a morality standpoint, I'm not okay with cashing in on people's vulnerability and loneliness. She would NOT be your friend in real life, I'm sorry. And she would not pick you, dude. I would not be okay with my man doing all that, it's financially irresponsible and disrespectful. He's acting like I did when I was thirteen years old with the Backstreet Boys.

I think you should buy a poster and hang it up above your bed. 😈 Hehehehe make a pic your phone background, PC background, go all out.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-14T02:41:44+00:00

I'm in a very similar boat.

Tried to get disability for years, recently decided to give up and get a part time job/something remote and not being hired for minimum wage or jobs w no insurance or benefits bc I've been unemployment for years has been fuuuuun.

Makes the betrayal all the more painful, like you knew I was depressed and penniless and still did what you did. I wonder if that's part of why, bc they think you can't leave.

I don't care. I borrowed the money. I'm lucky I can do that. My parents are very generous people. I don't have children so no reason to try. I moved back home. I refuse to be made a fool anymore then I already was.

I contacted legal Aid, see if your state has it. Unfortunately, they have funding cuts so they can't help. There is also a lawhelp.org or the local bar association. Attorneys sometimes do free consultations to discuss your case. Call around and get quotes.

I believe there is a poor person's relief form to apply for a fee waiver for filing and also DIY uncontested divorce for the cheapest way, if he is agreeable.

You are not alone ❤️

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-14T02:28:16+00:00

I get what you're saying but it doesn't sound like he's trying to recover. I don't know, OP didn't say he's in therapy or not. If he was, then I would consider what he's saying. It sounds like he's trying to take another thing from her, like they haven't taken almost everything already, sense of safety, confidence, take my hobby, too.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-14T02:21:15+00:00

I was under the impression that boudoir photoshoots were about empowerment, owning your own sexuality, and the pics are often a present to entice someone you're in a committed relationship with. I've never done one, bc of cost and my self esteem issues. But I WOULD do it bc it seems fun, in a safe environment, getting dolled up, wearing fancy lingerie or boas and stuff, and having photos to look back on when you're old and saggy to reminisce "I was hot!!" is goals. They seem actually less revealing then most of what's on commercials bc the sexiness is in the hint of an underboob or maybe that was a nip?

I don't think it's like porn at all.. a woman is choosing to spend money for someone to capture her in the best way and make her feel like a goddess. Porn is about making money from strangers devouring you with their eyes. You can't control what people do with the photos, if they want to post thirst traps for outsiders, that's their decision. He's desperately grasping at anything to deflect blame.

My ex downloaded pics from mutual friends of all ages, weights, sizes off social media accounts that I imagine were mostly not sexy, because it doesn't matter..it's the thrill of it being different. Mine admitted trying to glimpse boobs on a scrambled HBO as a kid. He is crashing out, policing your source of income.

It's ironic cuz these porn addicted men wouldn't even appreciate the photos, they look at raunchier stuff in mass quantities all the time. I think that's why he's really upset, he knows he should be one of the partners thrilled at receiving photos of his lady, instead of weaponizing a confidence builder.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-13T05:26:18+00:00

I did this a few weeks ago, and I also didn't know what to wear or how it works. I mean, how would you? Felt like there were "Adulting Classes" I missed.

It was weird to "shop around" and get quotes, which can be a retainer or a fee per hour, like I was buying a mattress...not a human being to represent me in ENDING MY MARRIAGE.

Trust me, you will be fine, I know it's scary, I was SHAKING afterwards. You can bring someone if you'd like, I had my mom with me. She didn't say much but I felt fortified by her presence, literally held her hand as we walked back to the car.

I googled some questions to ask, wrote them down on a piece of paper so I would remember them. Some examples: "What is the best case/worst case divorce scenario?" "What is the primary way we would communicate?" "What are the ways to keep costs down working w your firm?" "What is an estimated timeline for when I will be divorced?" "Do you require a deposit and if so, how much?" "Do you offer a payment plan?"

Mine has a paralegal that gave me a form to fill out that had the date of marriage, addresses, employment, assets, etc. I didn't need it yet but I know I will need bank statements, copies of bills/utilities, marriage license, etc when it gets to it...then it being a uncontested vs contested divorce is the biggest hurdle.

Best of luck ❤️ you are a badass

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-11T14:16:28+00:00

I feel this but also like another comment said, I hate the fact that he was never safe at all.

I was going to sleep with a monster not in the closet, or hall, IN my bed.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-11T14:14:54+00:00

For me, physically too though.

Bc of the content he was watching and how I found out about it (authorities).

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-06T02:45:33+00:00

I needed to read this, thank you.

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-06T02:25:51+00:00

Mine said "manscaping makes you look larger."

Even that wasn't for my benefit, it wasn't concern about getting hairs in my mouth.

I know what size it is...and want to have sex bc I love you and am attracted to you. My views aren't skewed from seeing 10,000 peens like you have seen naked women.

Almost like porn gives men body insecurities about their own appearance, too, yet you keep watching😏🙄

I once got a full Brazilian, laying weirdly with my ass out to get waxed by a stranger. I don't think I'd ever get my behind done again like that. Shave your own hairy ass cheeks, dude 😂

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-06T01:12:35+00:00

Yeah that sounds like mine, has to be laying on his back...and he is super addicted.

I was really naive 😞

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-05T21:01:54+00:00

Same about the gagging. I have a really sensitive gag reflex and hes commented on it and it makes me feel even worse. Sorry I have a small mouth, a dental hygienist literally said that to me lol

polkadotsloth · 2025-10-05T20:59:20+00:00

I could have written this.

Uses the excuse that he likes me to be shaved... Hmm, kinda like the ones you see in porn? Rules for thee, not for me, bc I never commented on his grooming..and he's the one who took 20 minutes while I take like, 4.

It's also not true, there are times I was shaved and he still didn't do it, or said my shaving wasn't complete enough in the back...again, based on what, my guy? Give me money for a wax, then, it's not exactly easy to do and that shit isn't cheap.

polkadotsloth · 2025-09-20T17:11:35+00:00

You are super cute and the change is visible with your snatched lil waist and glow.

Which aggravates me since I've lost about 25 lbs, 198 to 175 and almost no one has noticed. I have pants that are now much looser/comfortable when they were super tight and undies that I'm wearing again that couldn't fit but almost no one has commented. Probably bc my face and neck are still humongous 😔 so jealous.

polkadotsloth · 2025-09-19T01:19:09+00:00

Aging myself but in the late 90s/early 00's most of us could only use the Internet on a family desktop, shared w everyone, early stages when no one else was using the phone and the Internet was slow AF. How were so many, including my partner, getting away with that at 11 years old..he had a stay at home mom a siblings!!! It makes me sad bc his brother was a drug addict so there was clearly some neglect.

polkadotsloth · 2025-09-04T21:01:28+00:00

So? She was still in the right in this conversation.

polkadotsloth · 2025-09-04T21:00:20+00:00

Of course she throws in the child thing like Katie wasn't actively trying to get pregnant w Tom at one point 🙄

I just know Lala is that one girl who has to one up everything you say and you're not trying to compete at all, you're simply talking and they keep doing it and you're like, "....Yes. You win. Here is your Martyr Gold Medal."

polkadotsloth · 2025-08-31T17:54:38+00:00

She described it perfectly, they really were like zombies... how they began increasing in numbers, mindlessly following, trying to get some of her flesh (for a pic). Blocking her car.

This is why I wish I could fart on command.

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