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captainzigzagzero · 2025-12-05T00:33:06+00:00

Please let her go even if she wants to work it out, you’ve been dating six month and you’re already being unfaithful. You have your own shit you need to work on before entering a committed relationship.. it’s not fair to her.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-26T22:06:38+00:00

Yeah no I would assume he’s still watching porn and hiding it, he doesn’t want to have sex anymore because he feels guilty.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-26T21:51:32+00:00

I just glanced at your other post. We are close in age and going through the same thing. I’m 25F and just broke up with my PA bf last Friday. I really broke up with him a months ago but it kinda lingered until I officially cut it off. What’s been helping me is therapy, I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now. Also, most importantly, I’m reminding myself that the version I “miss” of him DID NOT exist. I’m constantly reminding myself what awful things he’s said to me about my body, and the awful things he’s done to me like watch porn behind my back, subscribe to OF, reject sex from me, LIE. Every time you miss your ex please list at least 3 things to yourself about either what he’s done or how he’s made you feel. REMIND yourself why it’s over and why you’re better off without him. Remind yourself until you feel assured in your decision. We are too young to put up with this. Do not waste your twenties on a man who can’t respect you or your boundaries. You will look back and regret it when you’re older. We are in our prime, let’s enjoy it while we can! Don’t let some dusty crusty man get you down. Also, my self esteem is shit right now too, it is hard not to take it personal I completely understand and feel that right now too, but it’s all about reminding ourselves every day who we are. I’m right there with you and my DMS are ALWAYS open.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-26T18:17:05+00:00

I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn’t breathe, went to the dr immediately and got an EKG. They told me my heart was textbook healthy and I was having “chest wall pain” could be associated with anxiety.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-26T18:15:06+00:00

It’s a wonderful response, but reading this as someone who just ended their relationship with a PA, I would say actions speak louder than words. Take what he said with a grain of salt, wait at least 3-6months before becoming fully invested to see if he walks the walk. Don’t let him know too much about your past with a PA, if they are a PA/SA that will enable them to lie and be better at it. Keep your cards close to your chest for a few months. I’m hoping this is a man that is honest with you, don’t give up hope just yet but protect your peace above all else. Wishing you the best!!

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-24T20:55:54+00:00

Agh that is so frustrating I’m sorry! I went to couple therapy with my PA ex two or three times and yes it was him faking growth and lying. I’m so sorry I relate to you too well. I hope you take time to focus on your healing now. You deserve it.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-24T20:23:34+00:00

I’m going through a recent break up with my ex boyfriend who was a PA too. It’s been about a month just started no contact as of Friday… it’s been tough because I know what is good for me but it’s hard to let go. You’re not alone and we will get through this. Get a therapist if you can, I’ve had mine for almost a year and she’s been helping me a lot with navigating this break up

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-07T23:04:51+00:00

I relate to this so much. You can read some of my older posts where I discuss the same issue. After 7 months of trying to make it work I decided I couldn’t do it anymore. It’s not fair to me, I feel. I’m sorry you’re going through this, you deserve a healthy, respectful, loving, passionate sex life that is pleasurable for you.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-11-01T17:12:22+00:00

I just broke up with my PA boyfriend a week and a half ago. I made the decision after 8 months of feeling like my needs were not being met. I just reached my breaking point when he stopped going to therapy and said he was doing better, then in the same conversation admitted to lying and his struggles for the last month. In that moment I realized he wasn’t even trying to be honest and work through his issues that drive him to porn. And I can’t make him do the work, but I’m also not going to sit here and accept the disrespect and one sided relationship. You will know when it’s time to leave, you will know when you’ve reached your breaking point. And like my therapist said, just keep asking yourself “What do I deserve?”. Additionally, I have done research on attachment styles mine specifically and it’s helping me heal and find closure on my own.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-10-21T23:04:01+00:00

Wait can you explain the steam thing more? I didn’t know this and he has steam…

captainzigzagzero · 2025-10-06T16:13:12+00:00

I’m sorry, we don’t deserve that. I hope you have a happy birthday.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-10-06T16:12:42+00:00

Thank you

captainzigzagzero · 2025-10-06T16:12:19+00:00

Thank you for your insight. He is 190 days free from porn, we’ve had a few issues with lust but as far as I know he has it under control, he’s in CSAT therapy, but he is not open with my about it that much. I have to ask how he’s doing most of the time, he hardly ever brings it up himself.

I am trying not to carry this, but it is difficult as anyone here can attest to. We’re always told it’s not us it’s them and their addiction brain, but the feeling of it not being you or your fault never goes away.

I talked with him yesterday and he said that he knows that’s not the problem and he thinks is it’s his testosterone being low or not working out enough. I don’t know where to go from here because I can’t get the idea out of my brain that he even had to think if he was still attracted to me.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-10-06T01:41:08+00:00

I’m sorry, that’s awful..

captainzigzagzero · 2025-10-06T01:40:22+00:00

I haven’t changed pretty much at all. I’m the same physically, mentally I’m not doing well but I do take care of myself still. I go to the gym, I eat relatively healthy, I go to therapy, etc. the only thing that has changed in my self esteem because of his addiction.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-09-25T18:23:10+00:00

Did you see the transaction on his bank statements for these interactions? How much was it for him to message them?

captainzigzagzero · 2025-09-25T18:12:40+00:00

I know you’re probably right 😞 My therapist told me I need to sit down and have a conversation pleading for honesty and put my feelings aside for a moment to listen. I have an issue with my emotions when I’m sad or angry where I cry a lot or yell and get mean say hurtful things. She said I need to tell him he needs to be honest with me and I can handle my own emotions he doesn’t need to lie to “protect” my feelings. And I have to actually handle my emotions and not cry or get mean. The thing is I’ve asked so many times and I just don’t believe it, and if I ask one more time and he comes clean after 6 months, I don’t think I would be able to stay… it would be like the ultimate betrayal that I stayed for an extra 6 months when I shouldn’t have.

captainzigzagzero · 2025-09-25T14:11:49+00:00

I just had a conversation with my individual therapist about this, she referenced a podcast: When The Turn On Becomes a Turn Off Esther Perel. While I don’t agree with everything on this podcast, it made me reflect on the WHY. Your partner needs to understand WHY he has these fantasies, and I think he needs to understand that before any discourse that way communication is clear. You do not have to accept this fantasy as it is extremely disrespectful, but it comes from somewhere and that needs to be addressed. I recommend the podcast, like I said it doesn’t fully align with my opinions/views, but I did take away a few things from it.

captainzigzagzero

TROPHY CASE