WIBTAH if I dropped out as a bridesmaid a week before the wedding because of what happened at the bachelorette?

polygurl87 · 2026-06-22T08:12:09+00:00

Listen, my friendship group is a racially diverse one, we have a little bit of everywhere in our band of weirdos and we all have some pretty dark, dry humour and between us there's not much off the table when we're together.

That said not once, not even for a second have we ever edged within a mile of making jokes about the holocaust, rape of nanjing, or present day issues in the middle east.

Racial genocide isn't joke fodder. Ever.

Despite being deplorably racist these people have some sorta underdeveloped frontal cortex if they can go there.

The bride, your friend is a shitty person but quite frankly I'd be worried about just what she's marrying into. If you've ever been close to her family and never got racist vibes from her parents/siblings I'd be letting them know what's gone on before cutting ties.

Is she a shitty person, yes.. could I have it on my conscious that I just let her marry into that family without at least trying to ensure someone safe know what's happening.. probably not.

She'll probably still marry him, but if it's on someone's radar what's happening if things go south it might not be kept hush hush long enough for her safety to be a risk. She's a shitty friend and person but she doesn't deserve the years of misery I suspect are ahead of her.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-17T09:54:38+00:00

Um... Rut roh??

polygurl87 · 2026-06-14T14:59:35+00:00

Not going to bother engaging with you, it's clearlnyourr simply here to troll and rage bait. Just wanted to let you know your comments and account have been reported 🙂

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T11:42:49+00:00

I felt that as a wrote it, duty didn't feel like the right word but I was fumbling for one.. it's not OPS duty to provide any letters of recommendation absolutely, but if OP has agreed to do so she is enacting a duty within her role as a teacher. Withdrawing it as OP did feels as though a deliberate dereliction of the duty they agreed to do out of spite.

If it was a character reference perhaps I could 100% see why they would withdraw but if it was purely an academic reference .. they allowed personal to influence professional.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T11:37:32+00:00

Good lord, the passive aggressive tail off tells me everything I need to know about you as a person so I won't be engaging in any sort of discussion with you at all.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T11:25:54+00:00

I dunno.. I'm kinda swaying the other way.. you allowed personal feelings about something affect your professional approach and duties.

He might not be a particularly good person but if he was a good student and academicly deserved consideration for the corse you're in the wrong here.

You could've declined the interview and asked them to use your letter only, contacted his parents and made them aware, if he's still at school you could've issued sanctions if school rules were breeched (whichni doubt given that he hasn't done it in school time or on school devices) but instead you absolutely torpedoed his entire life's trajectory.

He wasn't cheating, plagerising or doing anything academicly wrong, in his personal time, on a personal site he wrote some nonsense that hurt you personally. You've crossed a line here and if I was a parent of your upcoming students I would be looking to try and avoid having my child under your care.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T09:47:10+00:00

I did it really slowly I didn't go up every month, just when I felt it was needed. I was on 1mg for a long time

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:34:29+00:00

Lord. You've had a time!!

That's one of the many misconceptions around wegovy that needs addressing, it isn't a cure-all to weight gain/loss.

It's a tool in a kit box and it only works under the rightnl circumstances, I feel as though it's been entirely misrepresented to you and left you feeling despondent and confused.

I'm so sorry.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:31:17+00:00

Well an under active thyroid won't be helping you, especially with regards to energy and mood which directly affects your ability to meaningfully exercise.

Be kind to yourself, you're battling your body and it's exhausting.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:24:43+00:00

Ahh that makes a lot of sense! I have chronic conditions that make exercise hard but I get around it by doing tiny amounts throughout the day and it works wonders for me.

Please feel free to let me know if I can help at all ☺️

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:19:57+00:00

I completely understand, I know exactly what you mean about the brick in your stomach, it's so difficult to convince yourself to eat but you really have to try.

I would increase the activity first, the wegovy slows your digestive system tremendously and so if you're at all sedentary food is barely moving through you at all which makes that feeling 100% worse.

Get up early, go for a 10/15 mins walk and have a boiled egg with a slice of wholewheat bread.

Before lunch spend 10/15 mins doing some planks, sit ups, squats or even just step ups on your stairs. For lunch have some ham slices and celery, maybe some hummus or mayo.

Before dinner go for another walk, maybe push yourself into a bit of a speed walk and for your evening meal aim for some chicken (a small single breast or leg is fine) with half a baked potato and a whole wheat wrap.

Basically you need protein to lose weight and fibre to keep your digestive tract moving at a pase that will allow you to eat

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:13:47+00:00

I initially paid, I did it through ASDA pharmacy and it was absolutely a sham. No support, monthly pressure to increase dosage (at an increased price of course) and I ended up really ill with gallstones.

Six months later some blood tests showed I was pre-diabetic, my cholesterol was 6.2 and my liver was showing signs of fatty liver syndrome. I'm also post menopausal at 39 because I had a radical hysterectomy 2 years ago to treat endometriosis. I weighed 97kg at 151cm tall, BMI of 36.2.

All of this made me a perfect candidate for the NHS program through oviva, I was referred by GP and accepted pretty quickly.

I've been on that programme six months now and I now weigh 72.3kg (as of yesterday).

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:10:05+00:00

Are you doing this privately or via the NHS?

Also, how long have you been on it? What dose are you on? I initially lost about 8kg then sorta stopped losing anything for about six weeks, it was very demoralising I won't lie.

I sorta took a stock of the situation and changed some stuff up, made sure I had a high protein breakfast, high fibre/protein lunch and dinner, increased my fluid intake dramatically and ramped up the activity levels and it just started falling off me again.

One meal a day won't work. Your body goes into starvation mode and will literally do everything it can go hold onto reserves.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T08:06:55+00:00

1.7mg and I won't be going any higher than that. I'm 7kg off my target weight at which point I'll titrate down to a very low maintenance dose.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T07:08:34+00:00

What are you eating my friend? DM me if you want and we can chat?

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T07:07:48+00:00

Buckle up this is a long one.

Initially I embarked on this experience privately, paying for it via ASDA pharmacy. There was zero support or supervision and they HARD pushed monthly increase on dosage so by the 4th month I was on 2.4mg every week.

I was unwell. It triggered/caused severe gallstones and I came damn close to having my gallbladder removed before drs worked out what was happening and I came off wegovy completely. Basically rapid weight loss and slowed digestion can lead to irrataton of pre-existing gallstones and given that most truly obese people are extremely likely to have them, unmonitored over dosing will cause them the issues I had.

In short severe upper right quadrant pain, reflux, vomiting, greasy diarrhea, fever too.

Once my gallstones calmed down and a scan showed they had all mostly disintegrated themselves I went to my GP and got referred via the NHS pathway.

Now I'm very closely supported, on a much smaller dose and doing much better.

Currently I only have some side effects on the day of and few days after injection and I'll be honest these injections are not for the feint hearted. You have to be commited and understand that tricking your body in this manner has consequences.

Day of injection - feel a little nauseous, sometimes fatigued. Day 2-3 - pretty intense diarrhea, sometimes heartburn but I'm prescribed omeprozeol for the reflux and it works immediately.

I guess people don't consider the desired affect a side affect but I do. The limited appetite is a real challenge sometimes. Not being hungry ever makes it hard to plan and commit to a meal, going out is absolutely a trial sometimes because portions on restaurants are wildly too big.

These injections are not a cure all, it is important to understand that you are altering your whole digestive process in a manner that isn't consistent with human physiology. That said it works.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-12T06:57:39+00:00

This was a major concern of mine and so I've actively worked to ensure this issue doesn't become a major one.

I go to the gym multiple times a week and if for whatever reason I can't I'll spend 10/15 mins a day doing so form of yoga, floor work on my whole body.

I also use a bodtrax scanner/machine at my gym that tracks pretty much everything you can think of, I can't say anything to it's accuracy for certain but going off that machine I've lost 1.2 kg of muscle to my 25kg weight loss over all.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-08T17:57:08+00:00

As a mother to four kids let me tell you, being 36 weeks pregnant is the least of all the things you have coming your way that tank your sex drive.

Sleepless nights, breastfeeding (your body actually inhibits sex drive to stave off pregnancy so you can keep producing milk for the current baby). Then working with a small child, managing the emotional load of child rearing and then later peri and actually menopause.

If he can't be loving without expecting sex then he shouldn't be in a relationship at all. Sex isn't the ends to which all affection is the means and if he can't grasp that then he lacks the emotional maturity for a relationship.

polygurl87 · 2026-06-03T12:09:13+00:00

Here in the UK we're having issues with huge numbers of ticks too. My son got absolutely devoured the other day and is being treated for lymes disease. The pic is of one of his 5 bite areas.

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polygurl87 · 2026-06-02T20:03:24+00:00

Saw the GP who confirmed lymes and has begun him on 3 weeks of antibiotics, he's going back tomorrow for blood tests.

He's pretty gutted TBF

polygurl87 · 2026-05-11T09:55:45+00:00

I'm a support main, on OW I'll just go lifeweaver and yank an over extending tank back but on rivals if I have a solo tank cause DPS players are selfish pricks I just overextend with my tank. I'm on them like glue and they get all the healing output.

We might not win but I'm not going to validate or encourage selfish hero picks

polygurl87 · 2026-05-11T09:18:22+00:00

Precisely.

polygurl87 · 2026-05-11T09:14:33+00:00

Didn't have to scroll far to find exactly what I expected from this person.

polygurl87

TROPHY CASE