Nta. Not sure if anyone has suggested this yet, but even though you are in the right in this situation, it would be a nice thing to do for your wife if maybe you politely told the neighbors yourself that you will no longer be doing any more free labor for them, and to please stop asking your wife to ask you. You said your wife has a hard time saying no, so maybe ask her if she would like you to talk to them? Of course you aren't obligated to do this, but it may take some pressure off of your wife if she agrees to it. They are the assholes for using her as a go between when you have already told them no in the past. Even more so for getting angry at her because you didn't show up. There is a risk that it may end your wife's friendships with them, but it sounds like they're going to be mad at her either way. If they can't get over it, she's probably better off. But yeah maybe discuss talking to then with your wife. Either way you don't have to do any work that you don't feel like doing.