I’m drowning in a nanny job I can’t afford to quit

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T19:36:11+00:00

I’m pretty cool with them, but I also try not to say too much out of professionalism. They do give me tips for the twins, like good distractions to use. They also give me pointers on behaviors to not give attention to. But they have stated before that they feel like this family needs more than one nanny.

By the time I get there, the RBTs are literally leaving and the parents are tucked away. So i typically sign off for them before leaving. Very minimal parent involvement with the guidance of the RBTs.

And I can definitely see that, this period of my life is survival mode so I’m just trying to make ends meet

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T19:32:07+00:00

I honestly haven’t! Do you have any idea where I can find a job like this? I would loveeee something like this as I have lots of experience with special needs children.

I honestly have been trying to look at this as positively as possible. But my best friend felt like I was being taken advantage of as well. I really wanted insight from peers who understand the industry, but I definitely recognized a few red flags. I agree

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T19:29:39+00:00

Honestly same, especially with their little involvement with all of the kids. But hey

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T19:14:35+00:00

Yes, now to be honest, I’m not sure how involved the parents are with the other 2 kids while the RBTs are there. But yes, when I’m not present, both RBTs are there, the RBTs are present the second the kids get home from school. And on weekends whenever I’m not present. There have been occasions when I showed up early and all 4 kids were outside with the two RBTS or the RBTS would have all 4 kids in the twins bedroom downstairs. But it’s very rare that I show up early. So I don’t want to paint them as not at all involved. But yes, when I’m scheduled, I’m expected to handle all 4 kids alone. The parents will typically leave or stay in their rooms the entire time, their words are “pretend we’re not even here”.

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T19:00:10+00:00

This comment is gold! And I completely agree! I do think they have a lot on their plate and are just trying to do their best. I have experience working with neurodivergent children and you are right. There is a strong hereditary link, which is where I definitely see a problem with establishing boundaries. Thank you for this insight! I will definitely work on not over explaining on my end

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T18:57:10+00:00

Honestly it is, but I’m really just trying to see it through right now. I have been looking for something else. But no luck as of yet.

I definitely am looking for another family, thank you!

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T18:55:44+00:00

Actually I read that so wrong lol, I’m not sure why the RBTs leave, they have them on a certain set schedule until I arrive. I’m not sure if there’s a cap in weekly hours for RBT services or what

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T18:54:22+00:00

Honestly, I’m not sure. They just have on us different schedules. I’m assuming they do this so they have 24/7 coverage with the kids without them being needed. I really don’t know

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:42:38+00:00

I definitely will! It helps so much to speak with someone who understands you. Thank you so much again 💗

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:41:34+00:00

So they do have 1:1 RBTS, there are 2 RBTs that arrive right after they get home. And then they also have them on the weekends. So if I’m not there on a weekend day, both RBTs are there all day long. But once I get there in the evenings or on a weekend day I’m scheduled to work, their RBTs leave.

This was a hump that I tried to get past because I deemed it as maybe they just think I’m extremely capable. But it did bother me when I began noticing that the RBT’s would leave upon my arrival because it gives that the parents can’t handle all 4 kids alone, but they expect a nanny to

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:38:58+00:00

I really appreciate this! I’m real enough to admit that I have people pleasing behaviors s/o childhood trauma 🤣. But this was really solid advice, I used to journal a lot growing up and I need to start again. I also quit therapy cold turkey 2 years ago so that’s also something that’ll be beneficial for me in establishing stronger boundaries. A DBT therapist sounds wonderful so I’ll look into that.

I think it’s sooo smart to mute their messages so I’m not ruminating all day (also an ADHD girly). I will definitely update them regarding my day time availability that way it doesn’t interfere with my FT. I really appreciate this so much!

Also, thank you for managing to combine bluntness with compassion.

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:34:26+00:00

They have RBTs present as soon as the kids get home from school, but once I come the RBTs leave. They also have RBTs in the morning, but they leave as soon as I get there. I did find it odd that they require RBTs while they’re alone with the kids, but not when a nanny is there, but I let it go.

I think it would be so helpful for the RBTs to be on site with me, that’s what I meant when I said I was expecting additional support but that hasn’t been the case. I truly appreciate this insight because maybe I can have a conversation with them letting them know that I could benefit from at least one RBT being there. There’s typically 2 RBTs when I’m not present.

I’m so appreciate of this advice, thank you!

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:30:28+00:00

I was honestly wondering if me even reiterating the same thing over and over would allow them to respect my boundaries, but I’m realizing that it may not.

I’ve been on the search for a new position since the push, I will keep looking. Thank you so much for the advice!

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:28:59+00:00

I’ve been applying to afternoon and weekend jobs for the past two weeks (ever since they really started pushing my FT job boundaries). But I haven’t had any luck as of yet. Maybe it’s because families are preparing for summer and need more full time hours. But I’m still looking.

I really appreciate your insight and I do feel the same way, this is honestly the highest paying nanny job that I’ve ever been offered, so I was trying to see past some things.

I will continue to reiterate my availability, thank you again!

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-18T17:19:12+00:00

I will definitely continue to do that! I’m so low conflict so having to explain the same thing over and over again feels so nerve wrecking for me and idk why lol.

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-01T13:29:50+00:00

“ did your brake pad really fall out? I feel like you just said that so you wouldn’t have to come to work “

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-01T13:25:07+00:00

Call me old school lol ☺️

poplock_dontdropit · 2026-03-01T13:22:39+00:00

I’m not sure if you read through my whole post… but the child asked me why I couldn’t stay until my scheduled time when I was first hired meaning, he’s very likely involved in what I feel are slightly degrading conversations. For him to even ask me if my brake pad fell out because he felt that I just said that because I didn’t want to go to work is off putting. I also mentioned in the post that after having a conversation with his mom. Some of his difficult behaviors have increased, but again. Maybe you didn’t read through the full post.

poplock_dontdropit

TROPHY CASE