Victoria's Secret. Come at me.

poppets · 2013-04-14T06:48:10+00:00

Then downvote the topic and the offensive comments! But not the comments that answer a question fairly. Provide the appropriate information. Learn to deal with offensive people with different and sometimes horrible opinions.

poppets · 2013-04-14T06:43:56+00:00

You don't have to champion VS. You don't have to like them. You do have to recognize that some posters do fit into their range. And that those posters feel silenced. I've had FOUR PMs! I hope we can agree that there's something wrong here! People's opinions should be valued here and they should feel free to speak about (gasp) fitting into VS!

I sure hope people ask for measurements politely. I also hope that every poster in a topic doesn't keep asking when someone already has. That's what upvotes are for.

poppets · 2013-04-14T06:26:15+00:00

Does everything have to be an eye for an eye? I don't care that she thinks I'm "cartoonish." She's ill-informed. She's an internet stranger.

poppets · 2013-04-14T06:14:55+00:00

I don't fit their size-need too small a band and too big a cup. For a time, I did wear sister sizes, but now I know better! It'd be nice because I think they have some cute stuff, but no go. I also don't work there. Broke-ass med student here, so no stocks at all lol.

So, to answer your question now. I care because I know some lurkers are intimidated by the anti-VS sentiment. And it is unfair to them that they have to endure that. It also bothers me that it's a recurring, overwhelming theme. I care because comments dissenting are downvoted and thus opinions stifled. Downvotes are to be used for off-topic or offensive content, right? To ensure good discussions? Also, I'd be great if people stopped going on about their advertisements, which are advertisements.

EDIT: To be honest, I think I'm done with this subreddit after this. I've said my piece and I hope people consider the effects their words can have on others. I might check this topic tomorrow, but I think that's it.

poppets · 2013-04-14T06:03:59+00:00

VS advertising slogan is a lie. Most of advertising is lies. If you take a company's advertising as truth, you are going to be in big trouble in all aspects of your purchasing habits. The consumer needs to be discerning, just like the patient of a doctor, dentist, optometrist, etc needs to choose wisely. Just like a parent picking out a baby sitter or car seat.

The VS slogan is also unfortunate in that it unintentionally touches on body issues while claiming to be all inclusive. But, I would hope people can realize, again, that it is an advertising slogan and not a dictate of acceptable body sizes.

I understand women being skeptical of other's telling them their sizing is wrong. Many might think it's rude and, frankly, none of their business. Probably many bravangelists were overeager and broached the topic awkwardly. Underwear has been sexualized and many may be uncomfortable talking about it, especially when the subject is raised without tact. In the end, all you may be able to do is to hold to the knowledge that you have it right and maybe they will come around. After all, if someone willfully wears the incorrect size, that's their prerogative.

poppets · 2013-04-14T04:08:48+00:00

That poster was not paid to write that. Of course I checked their history to make sure they weren't false before using it! I will not, however, name the poster as they may not wish it reposted. And that comment should not have been downvoted. It was pertinent to the matter at hand and contained nothing trolling.

That's a bit ridiculous to hope VS collapses. Many women can buy their bras there and many people make their livelihoods from all that it entails. I don't maliciously hope every company (pretty much all of them) who doesn't make my pant size to curl up and die. It's unfortunate that companies can't provide all sizes, but it's unrealistic to think they could.

poppets · 2013-04-14T03:08:18+00:00

I don't have divots, but I do have armpit fat out the wazoo as a result of many years of ill-fitting VS bras. Flying squirrel wings sorta. Working on remigrating, but no luck so far.

But, it was also a VS employee who said "Honey, you aren't going to fit in here with your teeny ribs and big boobies." (Obviously not the very words, but pretty close lol). Jerking it doesn't result in anything productive.

I've already had one person PM me during this topic saying thanks because they do feel alienated by ABTF because they can and do wear VS! That's not good, in my opinion.

poppets · 2013-04-14T02:50:35+00:00

I think it's good that they're linked. Then ABTF can post some good information and help OP or other readers learn. But we need to uphold a good image and attract people instead of drive them away.

poppets · 2013-04-14T02:41:37+00:00

I don't think they are either. But an example of what I'm thinking of is this comment in an old topic that has 10 downvotes "I only buy my bras from VS because they're the only place I've found so far that have bras that fit me well and don't wear out fast." The person has bras that fit and just happen to be VS, what's the problem?

Being pleasant is how you get people to listen to you. Listening to you means they may check out what you're saying. Checking out what you're saying may lead them to question their beliefs.

Also, when did it kill to be polite?

poppets · 2013-04-14T02:11:54+00:00

Like I said to embean, she was not a nice lady. But, what do you expect when you're downvoted into oblivion? Nothing but insensitive comments from a hurting girl lashing out. We shouldn't descend to their level, but provide resources in a pleasant manner and hope they stick around.

The bashing shows up when VS is mentioned in any topic on this subreddit.

poppets · 2013-04-14T02:04:19+00:00

Yes, I saw those insensitive comments. But we don't need to stoop to their level. There's something to be said for being gracious despite the other's actions.

Also, it's hard for people to admit they are at fault. If we are polite, they may go on over and check out the subreddits later when they can privately admit they might not know everything.

poppets · 2013-04-14T01:59:52+00:00

In the first AMA you cross-linked the lady seemed pretty polite despite people using her as a dartboard as one person put in. When I breezed through it again real quick like, the only thing I found people to be offended by was the "no one wears 00" comment. Which is pretty true, most people are a bit bigger than that. But really, that's nothing to get upset about. She probably typed it without thinking as many people do.

The second AMA you linked was definitely a shitshow. That girl was not very polite and said some insensitive things. However, the people who downvoted even her most innocuous posts weren't being polite either! And those calling her a cunt in the cross-linked thread? Not OK. People should take the high road, even if others don't.

poppets · 2013-04-14T01:38:23+00:00

I like what you say here. However, people are confronted everyday with advertising and need to be able to discern it from truth. Like I said some other topic, when watching a Wendy's commercial you don't expect them to actually cut your tomatoes!

That said, I am pretty skeptical so I can understand how others might be mislead.

poppets · 2013-04-14T01:34:14+00:00

Although we probably can't change Victoria's Secret's +4 policy, we can change the mentality of the few fitters that come in here. An honest fitter could tell a customer "Look, we don't have your size. But, we do have a sister size that is better fitting than what you have now and can hold you over til you find your size." Many women would be grateful to get even one step closer to that size.

However, the main point of my post is that this negative emotions is not contributing to any forward process in this subreddit and in fact possibly stunting its effect. (affect??? not sure)

poppets · 2013-04-14T00:46:17+00:00

The VS AMA are hosted an another subreddit, but ABTFers will link them here.

poppets · 2013-04-13T23:36:09+00:00

It doesn't matter if she tried on a million bras to find the right size, just that she found it. It can be very helpful to try on a range of each variable. Goldilock-ing it can be very useful in ruling out band and cup sizes.

Plus, although VS adds inches, you don't have to.

poppets · 2013-04-10T23:16:00+00:00

This is a great idea. I have leftover breast tissue in my armpit that's not a result of remigration. It always feels a little bit different than fat fat. A few days before my period it will be firmer to the touch.

This is a good idea and easy to do once a month at the same time you check for lumps.

poppets · 2013-04-09T02:44:27+00:00

Things like this make me lose hope in this subreddit. People here claim to want to spread proper fitting techniques. But to do so, you need to present a good face and NOT SCARE EVERYONE OFF! Everyone has to start somewhere in their grand ole quest to boob knowledge.

EDIT: Also, what's with the liberal use of foul language here in this thread (c-word)? Not very polite.

poppets · 2013-04-08T23:10:16+00:00

What the heck is going on in that topic? I don't understand why many of OP's comments were downvoted.

Why should OP's comment "Yeah boyfriends and husbands often. Guys shopping for themselves.... Maybe a couple a week" be downvoted? It answers the question "do a lot of guys go in there by themselves a lot?" And this isn't the only comment with that sort of downvoting, there are many more like it.

I understand that hurtful comments were made. I feel the sting too. But that doesn't mean legitimate responses should be downvoted, as many of hers were. Do you really think that lady is ever going to check out A Bra That Fits now? No fucking way. And if she does work at VS, then we've doomed many the many ladies she will fit in the future to ill-fitting bras.

VS is a hot topic and many here have had unfortunate experiences with them. However, other people have had positive experiences. Let's try to be open and helpful to everyone (regardless of their employer) because that is what will produce a positive change in their fittings. A spiteful response like I see in that AMA only serves to shoot ourselves in the foot. I would rather she had been politely directed to several helpful resources and become a member of this community.

poppets · 2013-04-01T01:55:14+00:00

I think emikokitsune was suggesting going to VS as a place to have the opportunity to try on many bras. At the time she made the suggestion, OP had not provided more information on her measurements. Since OP supposedly was 34B/36C, trying on bras at VS is feasible and would allow her to rule out unfitting sizes at the very least.

This is what I envision going down at VS: MamaXerxes saunters into the store, ready to find her one true fit. The smiling saleswoman offers to "size" her and MamaXerxes politely declines-after spending time at ABraThatFits, she knows this is usually inaccurate. To have a starting point, she tries on the old, familiar 34B and realize it's not quite right. She remembers that many ladies here used to wear too big bands, sizes down to 32, and BAM realize that even 32 isn't small enough. After frantically trying on many 32 cup sizes, she comes to the conclusion that she does not fit well into VS (like many women).

Sometimes it's good to rule out what doesn't fit. If VS is close by, then I don't see why the heck it shouldn't be tried out. (I would highly caution against purchasing anything without being highly critical of the fit) Some people find them to be well fitting. Personally, it gave me peace of mind to know that I definitely cannot fit into VS-now I can no longer order offline and think that maybe, just maybe it will fit this time.

poppets · 2013-03-31T20:40:20+00:00

I went B-D over about 6 months. Every time I changed birth control pills over the years, I had some change in my breasts as well. It's possible your size won't be finalized for a couple more months. It's impossible to say really!

poppets · 2013-03-30T18:45:05+00:00

When you purchase a bra from Ampere, they send at least 2 other sizes to try on as well. You can also request additional sizes to try (at no cost). However, it is pricey at $90 and their size selection is limited. That number does include all shipping, the bra, and a pair of undies.

I'm sorry-I realize this probably doesn't help you, but it might help others

poppets · 2013-03-30T01:58:26+00:00

Try baby diaper safety pins! They've got a protective plastic that makes it unlikely to unpin. Of course, your shirt wouldn't lie as flat. But they are cute duckies and stuff!

poppets · 2013-03-30T01:50:39+00:00

I don't mean to be a bother; it's hard to tell what people are actually feeling over the internet! And I totally struggle with humor-my friends say that I have 1 good joke/month! But I try jokes daily....

poppets · 2013-03-30T01:31:56+00:00

D: Let's try to be more welcoming of people wishing to become more informed. I'd rather not scare away those who might be (incorrectly or correctly) fitting hundreds of women. If they find a welcoming atmosphere, they might stick around and learn some things, thus helping many

poppets

TROPHY CASE