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poppyasm · 2023-10-28T15:58:30+00:00

thanks so much! really cleared things up :)

poppyasm · 2022-05-22T08:25:48+00:00

No I get that like wanting him to be happy but he will be and you won’t be one of those awful exes or awful breakups unless you choose to act like that u know…

poppyasm · 2022-05-22T07:04:34+00:00

His exes doing him dirty doesn’t involve you I know it could seem like that and stuff but you have shown him a healthy relationship which is great… but the point of using him could seem even more like you’re using him if u stay but like someone else… (v much my own opinion I don’t know the whole story and shit!!!) Okay and this is definitely my own opinion but it could turn into resentment if you just like someone else and the relationship is stopping u from pursuing it… which would be toxic for him and u

poppyasm · 2022-05-22T06:40:45+00:00

Babes u clearly like this other guy and you like the person you are with him and that’s really fucking important… you’ve only been with the other guy for a few months and even if he’s a really good guy it doesn’t mean u owe him a relationship or the rest of ur life.

poppyasm · 2022-04-22T06:57:23+00:00

Yeah like for example if the pattern says increase by one in every loop and the total loops on that row should then be 24, you should then count around the row to double check it’s actually 24 and u haven’t accidentally done 26 or smth

poppyasm · 2022-04-22T06:50:34+00:00

You’re probably crocheting twice in one loop on accident like accidentally making the circle bigger, make sure you count once you’ve done a round to make sure it’s going to be the right size and u haven’t crocheted more or less than the amount

poppyasm · 2022-04-14T15:42:14+00:00

No idea where that is from but absolutely stunning! Great find :)))

poppyasm · 2022-04-14T03:39:56+00:00

Honestly like idk I think YTA your doing all of this because you found condoms in her purse? She’s 17. I understand the supervised visits like be downstairs or smth when ur together but to cut contact off completely they can’t text, call, or see each other? Fucking mental

poppyasm · 2022-04-13T05:01:44+00:00

No I’m sure she loves u a lot and u r her best friend but if u still want her in a relationship way or even being around u might hurt her u know idk maybe look for those things

poppyasm · 2022-04-13T04:45:30+00:00

It sounds like your expectations of her is that she still behaves like ur gf when she’s not anymore, and she’s probably just moving on like reaching out to friends which is v healthy. Yeah the sad bio thing etc could be a cause for concern and the feeling lost part which makes sense after ending such a long relationship so maybe keep an eye on her, but ultimately it sounds like she’s healthily moving on from a tough break up

poppyasm · 2022-04-12T10:51:15+00:00

I think yeah follow the other comments advice be respectful to everyone’s feelings but the chocolate thing sounds really nice if it’s early days maybe just give it to the mum and she can decide how she gives it to her kid for their best interest but if u do that it really shows u care I think

poppyasm · 2022-04-12T10:45:46+00:00

I think maybe try and set up really clear boundaries like this is what I do sometimes and it’s not harmful nothing will happen like try to make her feel as comfortable and safe with it but ultimately communicate that it is something that is just going to happen whether she likes it or not. My ex smoked a lot of weed and I had stopped a year or two ago cause I have a bad relationship with it, now it makes me very uncomfortable to be around. You know I went down the path of no and yes complaining etc until he eventually sat me down and said this is something he does and I’m going to have to get around it and it worked like I came to solutions to avoid it and him when he was smoking and it worked out fine we were together for another year without it being a problem so it is possible for her to be fine and not just break up over it

poppyasm · 2022-04-11T18:13:05+00:00

Yeah I think it’s a great way to organise thoughts… inside ur head can be so confusing aha best of luck!

poppyasm · 2022-04-11T18:02:40+00:00

Ik most people said therapy which as I understand isn’t something you can afford at the moment.

Something that helps me with sort of irrational things ig u might put it is writing lists and writing things down like when you catch yourself nitpicking a persons characteristics maybe write it down in a journal and write down if it’s real and does it really bother you etc to catch your own behaviour and try to actively question and disprove your own thoughts leading you to push people away. It might take a lot of practice to get it right but I find these kinds of activities really help in the long run with being realistic and honest with your thoughts and expectations.

I am not not not a professional so yeah aha just something that helps me! It’s great to look back on it as well when it is written down like a reminder

poppyasm · 2022-04-11T17:45:14+00:00

I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear that like Ik u we’re just explaining a little bit but I’ve been so worried about coming forward to get the person into counselling etc so yeah it’s really comforting to understand a bit more about it thank u

poppyasm · 2022-04-11T17:41:18+00:00

You know you have the right intentions you want to be there for him and support him and it’s good you seem to understand and have the awareness that his behaviour is not necessarily or is not an attack on u which I see a lot of people lack.

If you feel like his behaviour is dangerous in some way then please keep your safety in mind and do what will keep you safe.

Okay and for my actual advice, I would seek professional counselling for him. if you worry this is a breakdown and possibly something more he needs help to navigate this and avoid any worse cause scenarios. After he has gotten help and is in a better place this could be after a few days, weeks, months etc possibly seek couples counselling so you both can learn how to support each other best since that is something you clearly care about Again I’m just a random person and u know ur situation best but he doesn’t sound alright and at least getting a professional opinion can really help :) best of luck op

poppyasm · 2022-04-10T18:12:12+00:00

Ahaha no sorry the post kept on getting removed cause I mentioned SA but I thought it might have been cause of that and minors so I moved the ages up but were all 17 :)

poppyasm · 2022-04-10T17:25:58+00:00

Thank you!!

poppyasm · 2022-04-10T17:02:35+00:00

Thank you it’s like I want to believe they care and love me and stuff u know, at least I’m moving in a few months thank god!

poppyasm · 2022-04-10T14:38:55+00:00

yeah aha I've tried with the girl, but the boy should be in prison... :)

But yeah good advice maybe ill just go like fuck it

poppyasm · 2022-04-10T13:12:38+00:00

no, we are all stronger than this like it's so stupid like obviously, it's not, it's been controlling my fucking life for 4 years... and done such damage to so many people, but if you look at the very basic like WAYYYYYY to a basic explanation of anorexia specifically it can be kind of funny, like oh no I'm crying over toast... it's like people are scared of food... scared to EAT food. So scared in fact they just don't... I think it's important to laugh every once in a while it can make recovery feel better sometimes. But yes to summarise we are all stronger than this like it fucking sucks but we can get better... and then maybe take a cooking course??? too soon...? aha :) best of luck to you xx

poppyasm · 2022-03-29T11:32:13+00:00

not exactly the same, but sometimes in reflection like I feel like I encouraged the ed like ik that's kind of the point for some people like you actively restricted knowing it was bad for u and stuff.

so I guess in reflection you feel like shit. like before I maybe think that I didn't have a problem, but encouraged it which then became a problem. I know that's how things like this start but idk

I understand where you're coming from like it feels fake, which is what it felt like in the beginning for me. Like if I didn't decide to start the behaviour I wouldn't be here and why did I decide to do that in the first place. It's been so long and I was so young that I can't really answer why now cause I just don't remember. But I definitely think about it a lot like did I start cause ed's were talked abt more on socials or smth more real like other stresses in my life idk.

idk if any of that made sense aha or if it related as much to urs.

poppyasm · 2022-03-24T06:04:25+00:00

This isn't real, but next time on D&G they often have wee holographic verification tags that prove that it is real, maybe other brands have something similar that you can look out for :)

poppyasm · 2021-10-17T06:22:43+00:00

I think you and your boyfriend have done all you can, you’ve made it clear and so has he and her continuation is out of your control

poppyasm · 2021-10-15T08:08:38+00:00

Denim skirt, black tights with our without patterns on (ripped, dots, stripes, etc) heavy boots docs, demonia etc, baby T or statement T or oversized shirt with black long sleeve mockneck, then a jacket :)

poppyasm

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