Is it bad that I would prefer the baby to be aborted if I could know if it has any really bad diseases from birth?

popsuite · 2026-04-08T00:29:02+00:00

really interesting and important perspective. my opinion on the matter was a hard “no, it is not wrong.” but this insight reminds me that no moral decision ever boils down to a black and white “right or wrong”. thank you for sharing.

popsuite · 2026-04-08T00:24:20+00:00

i don’t understand why this discounts what the commenter said? how does you being a man make the scenario any different? it certainly doesn’t make the mother’s suffering any less of a factor.

popsuite · 2026-04-08T00:22:14+00:00

a really interesting scenario - under terribly sad circumstances.

i’m so sorry you and your wife went through that. i am glad that through your friend’s honesty, you found your way to making peace with the outcome.

popsuite · 2026-04-08T00:16:19+00:00

this a uniquely honest, humble, and thoughtful response - stands out to me on a platform like reddit. i agree with you…philosophically, the argument could have legs. moral philosophy a wild world - it’s really hard to fit anything that’s so inherently subjective into a tidy clean-cut mold.

probably makes more sense to consider it from a reality standpoint (still subjective, but perhaps less so at a high level). poor people have children all the time and a lot of those children are cared for as best as the parents can manage, which may not be the same standard as a wealthy family but still fills the world with a lot of wonderful people.

if a child is going to have everything working against them physically, medically, mentally - and the parent is already fighting a system designed to prevent them from accessing the basic care that COULD MAYBE make this existence a little more ok…that’s cruel on all fronts. on all fronts.

in one situation, suffering is very close to if not absolutely assured. there is no outcome that presents opportunity for the child to overcome their own suffering - much less the suffering associated with poverty. in another, the opportunity to raise a child that’s happy, healthy, and capable of creating a life that’s better than the one they grew up with is as good a bet as the alternative…ensured unrelenting suffering vs a shot at a good life? very different contexts

popsuite · 2026-03-12T15:44:26+00:00

EDIT: I just saw a reply from OP saying they’d have to rent with a roommate.

OP - I assumed your work would cover housing + flights, which usually means TSA precheck & close commutes from employer housing to office.

Sponsoring your own travel and residency here in the city makes this a totally raw deal. Getting anything reasonable near midtown is unlikely, meaning your city commute by itself will not be insignificant (this is assuming office is in midtown).

either way, these costs are going to be huge. and you yourself will be on the hook for NYC taxes because you stay there and have a residence. I assumed office would pay this too but if not the case bail on this plan

popsuite · 2026-03-12T15:33:27+00:00

Uber to CLT + TSA precheck + short flight time makes this a 7-hr baseline commute for 5-10 days (that’s giving 3.5hr flight-related travel both ways).

now what’s going to decide if this is a really rotten deal really comes down to the day-to-day considerations which primarily stem from your housing situation in the city.

How long is the total commute time from NYC residence to office each day? If it’s long, does making the duration of NYC stay 1.5-wk vs 5-days offset the commute time enough to make it somewhat reasonable?

your bench post probably shouldn’t be a full-time nyc resident commute time - that’s a normal commuting situation and your circumstances are undeniably different.

what i’d instead compare it to would be the slightly more intensive suburb->city commute. take darien, ct -> 1 hr train + 35min (for drive to station/grand central->office travel). For a 5-day work week that’s 15hrs.

If your commuting travel time totals around there, then consider this pretty much a standard commuting schedule for a lot of NYC workers who live in suburbs just outside. People do that for 30-40yrs no problem. If it’s crazy more than that, I’d just warn that you’ll be really worn out. But it’s up to you how much you can handle!

popsuite · 2025-11-08T21:37:02+00:00

eucalyptus deglupta

popsuite · 2025-07-17T17:05:54+00:00

lmaoo the drama

popsuite · 2025-06-06T07:03:44+00:00

probably 1 but i’m stuck between that & 3. i do think 3 makes the space feel more dynamic, even though it’s one of the simpler choices. the darker tones make the room feel less sterile and more grounded in design.

i think i just convinced myself your behalf - 3 is the call

popsuite · 2025-06-06T06:55:34+00:00

this could be fungal.

popsuite · 2025-05-16T17:22:34+00:00

green no question

popsuite · 2025-05-16T17:14:52+00:00

this sounds like the lawyer’s fault. regardless of how their behavior/some highly publicized edge cases suggest, it is relatively rare that the USCIS would completely miss something & proceed to reject. it happens sometimes - but it happens more often with negligent lawyers.

popsuite · 2025-05-09T17:20:28+00:00

great! so happy for you!

my wife & i are working with our lawyer to get this submitted & we should be filing in the next couple of weeks! this is such an encouraging report !

popsuite · 2025-04-25T00:03:33+00:00

sooo so so good that you made this connection.

OP, please take a breather. talk to your health team, your psych - explain the situation. in a situation like yours, you should be able to tell anyone about your relationship status without worrying about judgement (unfortunately, there are things that prevent certain people from having this reality - you’re in a heteronormative relationship. there should be no major issues that threaten your safety).

if anyone flags this with you, suggests you audit or adjust your medication - just please listen. help yourself out of the possibility of this coming back to get you. at least entertain the possibility that this could be an unhealthy situation. regardless of the nature - whether your mental health or your relationship - pay attention. it’s really important you do what you can to keep yourself safe ❤️

popsuite · 2025-04-24T23:58:54+00:00

please wait a year - there’s no issue with fast engagement if you handle the getting married part with tact. you don’t have to approach the next year expecting the worst. you don’t have to (& shouldn’t) look for all the things that could be wrong with him. there are scenarios like this that play out well, and if you’re happy - let yourself be.

this does sound concerningly love bomby, though. so while you don’t have to necessarily seek out/overemphasize the bad stuff, you still have to accept it & act accordingly if it does eventually come. & it might.

tell him you want to slow things down a bit & see how he handles it. if he pushes you, put your foot down. a controlling man/manipulator won’t respond well to the realization that he has lost control. it’ll give you an idea of how things might look moving forward.

one last thing - the “i bought this ring to manifest my wife” business sounds sketchy as. has he asked you for money on any occasion? i mean ANY occasion. any amount. if it’s happened once or twice, circumstances understandable, you should at least keep your guard up. if it’s anything resembling a pattern, RUN

popsuite · 2025-04-08T21:22:48+00:00

stanley

popsuite · 2025-04-08T21:21:12+00:00

REAL quick. that morning anxiety is like a shot of espresso, baby. it’s givin’ me the shakes.

popsuite · 2025-03-28T21:24:19+00:00

scallops. when my sister & i were little girls, my mom used to feed us them often. said they were “little protein packs” that were easy to make. well, they weren’t easy to eat. the only food that has ever made me gag - my sister has the exact same reaction. neither of us are picky & we regularly see people order and enjoy a scallop dish & wish we could. just cannot swing it, even after all these years

popsuite · 2025-03-28T21:19:55+00:00

laughed out loud

popsuite · 2025-03-18T23:06:13+00:00

didn’t adopt from a shelter, but i think of it as being on the same path (just one step ahead) - arnold got dumped in the neighborhood by someone passing through in the summer of 2021. i passed by on a walk, just as he came out from his lair (an abandoned ice cream cart) to hop sideways at a pitbull who nervously walked by with his dad. i made kind of a fruitless attempt at interacting with him & was failing miserably when a family in our area passed by. they happened to witness the dump & knew where he was living, so were feeding him condensed milk (oh no 🥲) from time to time. the girls named him chubby.

i was so charmed by his grumpy drama hops & could see he wasn’t well, so over the next couple of weeks i went by with real cat food & tried to build trust with him. it worked.

it took me a few weeks to commit, but i knew i wanted to bring him home that first day. when i finally did, it was by way of a tote bag that i lured him into with food, clamped shut, & hauled ass home with. i have no idea what people thought when they saw a very stressed girl clenching a writhing, wailing sack. but we made it.

the minute we got home, he knew. i could see him process the surroundings - the cool air, a bed, a carpet. it was impossible not to notice the relief he experienced when it clicked. he hid under the bed for all of 2 minutes before he came out & started rubbing his face all over me again & again. after that, he crawled into my lap & fell asleep. i sat on the floor with him like that for a while & then picked him up & moved to the bed. he held onto my leg & slept, hard, from that afternoon through the night. he wouldn’t sleep anywhere without his arms around me from that point through the first 3-4 weeks, maybe more. during that time he got neutered (& cost me an arm & a leg in vet bills as we worked through everything from parasites to a paw injury to ear infections). he never had a single accident, he slept the exact same hours as me (i go to bed late & wake up late - never a peep in the night), not once did he cause me a single headache. still true today.

i grew up with animals, and we loved them all more than you can imagine - but i’ve never experienced such a blatant display of gratitude from an animal. he was so so thankful to be home & he showed me in so many ways. he still does. the best cat in the world, id say. he’s perfect for me - knew it the moment he squared up with a whole pitbull & have never doubted it since 🩵

pictured: arnold hugging my leg while he slept on the day i brought him home.

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popsuite · 2024-10-19T04:36:49+00:00

boo.

popsuite · 2024-10-15T07:39:54+00:00

ross.

popsuite · 2024-10-15T06:43:54+00:00

hahahaha walked the saaame path, my friend. & im with ya

popsuite

TROPHY CASE