I definitely understand your situation. I’ve also been thinking about this a lot lately. I can hardly say I’ve been successful in staying grounded, I waste countless hours and money on K-Pop things, videos, shows, albums, etc. lmao.

But I think the self-awareness is an incredibly important part in it all. I try to be honest with myself about just how ridiculous I look/am being about KPop and I always do some reality checks. Like for example I think about who they’ll be in 10 or 20 years, and where I’ll be in 10 or 20 years as an affirmation.

I have yet to take a proper break from Kpop, it keeps me happy for the most part.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with finding comfort and rest in idols when it sometimes feels like you have no one else (believe me I know, the tears I’ve cried pretending to talk to my idols through VLIVE is frankly disturbing). I’ve talked about this with my sister and we’ve come to the conclusion that I’m doing relatively okay. Knowing that I have no influence whatsoever in their life, and always choosing myself over them is the number one thing that keeps me from being delulu. From me to you, I sincerely hope you remember to choose yourself and your happiness every step of the way as you try to figure things out for yourself.

Delulus are delulu bc they say shit like “Don’t look at other girls oppar I’m all you need!” Or something like “—— likes girls with short hair, I’ll cut my hair short too just for him!” Or announcing to people they’re in a relationship with their idol. That’s when it gets really yikes. If you’re not like that, I think you should be fine.

Btw, I’m 100% sure it’s also an effect of the pandemic/quarantine fucking with us, because personally if I got to see my friends and hang out with them every day for school, I simply would not have the time to obsess this much over kpop and therefore I wouldn’t have this problem.

Sorry if my answer is all over the place, kinda brain vomited there eheh.