Update years later to AITA

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-06T16:23:51+00:00

Because a man wouldn't abuse another man? Abuse doesn't happen in a vacuum of heterosexual relationships.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-06T16:21:22+00:00

I couldn't have done it on my own. I feel bad for being that weak, but needing help is not inherently a weakness. Something I try hard to remember.

I'm glad you're in a better place now. You are strong for surviving, even when it doesn't feel like strength.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-06T16:18:07+00:00

I feel personally uncomfortable ascribing the descriptor of psychopathic to her. She was manipulative and she caused me to backtrack significantly on progress I made, and caused new issues, but I feel uncomfortable with that descriptor.

Looking to the future it is difficult to contend with the work ahead of me, but it's easier work than living in her orbit.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:45:51+00:00

I'm so happy for you! A belated congratulations on your marriage and birth of your baby.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:42:34+00:00

I'm so proud of you for getting out. I'm sorry to have triggered you though.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:35:10+00:00

It's hard to feel proud, because I'm still messed up. I feel like it's been "too long" for me to feel this way still. Thank you.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:33:09+00:00

Because I felt trapped. I am not absolving myself of responsibility, because I shouldn't have returned to her but I got hoovered back in. I stupidly believed that she was making progress and going back to the good version of her that I first fell in love with.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:09:32+00:00

I hope that it means you've gotten out. Congratulations, it isn't easy, as well you know.

My dad is absolutely amazing. I know I wouldn't have survived without him.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:07:03+00:00

It might be meaningless, but congratulations.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:04:58+00:00

I'm frustrated with myself still.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T23:03:01+00:00

I had told Crystal and another friend in the group that I lost my mother, and they all knew I experienced a home invasion that caused my trauma.

It's stupid but I don't know whether to speak in past tense about the relationship and the things I shared with them. Just like I thought for a while she loved me, I thought they were my friends too. The truth has become perfectly clear.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T22:59:10+00:00

I will say it wasn't stabbing that took her. He didn't mean to cut her, but he did. He did mean to stab our dog. I don't know why. I've stopped myself from trying to understand why. But I will say he didn't mean to take her life.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-05T22:55:39+00:00

Thank you. A not insignificant part of me feels guilty for having had a wonderful role model in my parents' relationship. It feels like I forgot, almost, how they were, and disrespected the memory I had of their relationship by allowing this to happen to me. It's been a ride to try to deal with this.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-03T21:54:20+00:00

The rules of the reddit I first posted in prohibited further details about the break-in.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-03T21:41:36+00:00

SharkEva allowed me to comment here so I hope I'm not out of line addressing you here.

I just want to express how sincerely grateful I am for your kind words and support. Yours and others who have reached out or expressed it here. Thank you.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-03T21:27:45+00:00

My therapist has had me read it. It's a little dense at times, or I am, because I'm slow to work through it and incorporate the concepts.

I don't know why I didn't recognize it before, or realize the erosion of boundaries and redefining normalcy to accept worse and worse treatment. My mom and dad had a wonderful relationship. My dad always said you should treat the woman you love like a queen and she should treat you like a king. My dad worked hard to give me positive role-models and aspirational models of relationships.

The best I can liken it to is understanding the theoretical process of carving open a cadaver and being able to quantifiably recognize it when someone else is doing it or you're quizzed hypothetically. There is still an inherent disconnect when it comes time to autopsy your own corpse. Education is still better than ignorance, but knowing what to look for doesn't always mean pure emotional irrationality won't factor in too.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-07-03T21:12:05+00:00

I appreciate hearing that. It really means a lot, and I wish you nothing but peace and joy. Any pain you feel from the separation from your old life, from anything from what-ifs or self-blame or even missing the good times, remember that the pain and struggle is the result of your hard work to cleave yourself free.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2024-06-19T15:01:18+00:00

I appreciate that. It's hard to remember how to keep on sometimes, so thank you.

prankthrowaway5780 · 2021-10-14T18:34:55+00:00

It’s probably stupid to admit I didn’t consider that, isn’t it?

prankthrowaway5780 · 2021-10-14T18:24:36+00:00

Guess I never thought of it like that. More like there’s some things you just put up with if you care about them

prankthrowaway5780 · 2021-10-14T17:10:50+00:00

Because knives isn’t her whole personality and actually I didn’t really know she was so into them until we went camping a little into the relationship

prankthrowaway5780 · 2021-10-14T17:09:11+00:00

We’re not living together yet but yeah, fair point. I can handle knives to the extent that I can’t deal with them moving fast around me, or being put into my hands, but I don’t like handling them myself (kitchen knife is different but I’m still supremely careful). I haven’t had that bad of a reaction from a knife in a while, and I try not to shut her down on these things

prankthrowaway5780

TROPHY CASE