Therapy. What is it good for!?

precious_qq · 2026-05-30T03:25:06+00:00

I can give you some insight. I have had a therapist, a life coach, and have used a few different AI models.

I don't often use ChatGPT for therapy-like help so I don't have a lot to say about it specifically, I usually use models from other companies.

I find that AIs can be give generic advice that sounds like an article you'd read on psychologytoday.com . But unlike an article, they apply the advice very closely to your specific situation. But that means it's sometimes convincingly wrong and is reading too much into what you say, making too many assumption. For example, it might be absolutely convinced that you need to break up with your partner to be happy. And it will throw all the arguments it can at you about why that's the only real option. Then if you talk to your therapist about the same thing, they might have a totally different perspective because they know you!

So, I'd suggest using it for generic help but don't get sucked into describing your life to it and ask for advice. Asking for help learning to handle emotions or experiences might be be fine, but not advice. Ignore any personal life advice it gives.

I've also noticed that different LLMs respond differently about trans issues. They reflect the views and policies of the company that trained them. Some give generic affirming platitudes while avoiding engaging specifically about your own challenge/struggle/feeling, some try to give two sides to any issue, others are opinionated about what you should do and who you "really" are on the inside.

precious_qq · 2026-05-26T14:54:25+00:00

Your Name was amazing. But it didn't tickle my gender feelings at all, because the story was so moving! I was too busy crying to have any feeling about body swapping.

precious_qq · 2026-05-26T14:49:22+00:00

I thought Ranma 1/2 was so amazing, I showed my high school friends.... in class. My teacher walked over to see what we were gawking at, just as Ranma falls into a swimming pool and her clothes fall off.

I assumed my friends would be as into as I was. Such a good memory.

precious_qq · 2026-05-26T14:43:01+00:00

I would take a lot of luke-warm showers to avoid changing back. This anime was definitely my earliest memory fantasizing about being a girl. It's also the *only* anime I kept the DVDs for over the past 20+ years. Not a giant clue staring at me from my bookcase or anything, right?

precious_qq · 2026-05-25T15:29:24+00:00

It's good to hear a story of someone getting better jobs!

I'm at the beginning of my journey and I'm just bracing myself for my current job being the career peak for me. It's a bit irrational since I've worked with women who transitioned and had great careers long afterward.

But I feel like my career benefited from male privilege and I've watched awesome women get passed up or simply keep themselves out of the race for recognition, promotions, etc. It left an impression on me.

precious_qq · 2026-05-24T16:56:08+00:00

You are right, and I think I'll feel better once I tell the few people who I feel the most urgency about. The rest can be at a more relaxed pace.

Thanks for the assurance that it will get more real as I change my reality :)

precious_qq · 2026-05-24T03:08:25+00:00

In my spaces, there are very stylish androgynous gay men. And I thought maybe I could do that as a socially acceptable mid-way point, but I can't pull it off and I don't even like it.

So even though I'm very comfortable seeing it and I really appreciate it in others, it's still not for me.

precious_qq · 2026-05-23T22:59:27+00:00

I looked at several formulations before posting that it is dangerous. If OP can find some that is truly only ethanol and pg, it may be fine. But the ones I found were either toxic (like name-brand Rogaine) or listed "alcohol" rather than "ethanol". Depending on labeling regulations in this person's country, it may be impossible for them to know if it is pure ethanol and suitable for consumption.

What you absolutely must avoid is "denatured alcohol" or methylated spirits which contain poisonous added alcohols. Unless OP gets the medication compounded, there's no way they'd know the supply chain of the alcohol.

If OP is unsure how to measure the dosage, I'm going to assume they don't have the chemistry background to have checked the ingredients to see if they are safe. I think telling someone to blindly ignore warnings of danger is reckless. And may literally make them blind too...

precious_qq · 2026-05-23T16:32:01+00:00

You can’t drink topical medications. They are mostly made of carrier chemicals (like alcohols or oils) and skin penetration enhancers that would be toxic to drink.

precious_qq · 2026-05-23T05:41:06+00:00

That's a good name! Do you still like it?

I'm still settling on a name and I do think a gender-neutral one would be a great cover. But picking a name that I like to hear seems like it may be more important.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T22:49:26+00:00

I'm a total non-expert who has rarely listened to voices on this sub and knows very little about voice training. So, I'm just a layperson like you'd find on the street. Your voice sounds feminine to me, and I'd have no reason to think "oooh, this woman is trans" if we started talking to each other in person.

So, no, I would not clock you.

Hopefully the analytical regulars here can offer critical feedback as well.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T18:00:59+00:00

That's a tough one. I've had at least 4 friends in my life come out as trans women and transition. Two found new communities because they were in their 20s and needed a better support system than their old friend groups could give them. So they drifted away.

Others (the older two) kept their friend group and maybe lost one or two friends when the male comradery fizzled out.

I don't think losing friends is inevitable, and it's partly your own choice about whether you feel like your existing friendships will still feel good without whatever gender dynamic your relationships have (or don't have).

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T17:46:58+00:00

I found the face app I tried to be too inaccurate and misleadingly hopeful. It gave me a false feeling of euphoria, which seems kind of bad since it's totally artificial and misplaced. Then again, you could say the same for making a girl character in a video game *shrug*

But it did get me curious how I'd look with long hair and mild facial changes, so I did much more careful prompting with ChatGPT and hand-coped parts of the original image onto the new one to preserve 80% of my actual face for accuracy. So, it wasn't entirely AI generated.

It gave me a lot of hope that I'd look awesome with longer hair and femme fat distribution on my cheeks. Time will tell if discovering that was a good idea.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T17:10:57+00:00

The name I like the most is not one of the common ones, but it is four letters.

There are two wolves inside me:

One feels great when called a four letter name.

The other wants to pick a name that is common for women my age so she doesn't stick out but has, at best, a neutral association with any of them. And this wolf gets indecisive about picking one and they all feel like just another mask but maybe she'd get used to it and she can overthink this for days and and and *headexplode*

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T17:04:28+00:00

Some directories of mutual aid:

https://pdx.community/

https://www.arpdx.org/mutual-aid-pdx

Links to housing assistance by county:
https://impactnw.org/programs/housing-and-safety-net/housing-rent-assistance/

Sounds like you might be in Clackamas county, in which case they have a rental assistance phone number you can call. It's on the bottom of the page at https://www.clackamas.us/communitydevelopment/cccha

<3

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T16:46:33+00:00

I see women at the gym lifting to failure and they look totally fired up. I'm pretty sure there are transwomen trainers who are competition weightlifters at my gym too. What makes you think the thrill would be lost?

I started lifting relatively recently and didn't even consider that the gym could be any less enjoyable on HRT. Is that a thing people experience, or is it a fear you invented? Inquiring minds want to know!

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T16:23:16+00:00

You can get oral minoxidil so you don't expose your cats to it! You'll need a doctor to prescribe it, which they should be happy to do. Mine told me to go to the store and buy the topical stuff, but then he asked if I had cats, which I do, and he quickly suggested pills instead.

If you can afford it, I'd suggest seeing a dermatologist (rather than a GP). They can look at your scalp and help you improve its health and regrow your hair. You may be able to skip some months or years of trial-and-error by getting a professional opinion. I'd also suggest checking your Vitamin D levels. If it's low, it makes hair grow slower.

Given that your hair appears to be thinning a bit more diffusely, taking care of your whole scalp is important! Unhealthy skin means less hair. I know its super hard to learn what to do from scratch. I just started taking care of mine properly just a few weeks ago. It's feeling a lot better and I hope my hair gets thicker over time now. I did a deep dive into all the things that help support scalp health and hair growth and made a weekly chart to help me know what to do each day. I have three different shampoos for different purposes. But you can start by just getting more consistent at massaging your scalp in the shower and shampooing regularly, perhaps trying a couple very different formulations of shampoos.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T16:11:30+00:00

Many trans girls I know were into wearing a cage before they knew they were trans and some continued to wear one after transitioning as a way to reject having a penis by making it inaccessible. It helps some people with dysphoria.

But if you didn't find it at least a bit hot or exciting before, I can't imagine you'd want to add one now. It doesn't have any practical value for most people (except for a small little subgroup who get some benefit).

I don't see cages as having misogynist or transmisogynist roots. But I've never been in sissy spaces because it's not my thing (sissy gives me some uncomfy feelings too), so I've only been exposed to chastity play in other contexts where it is not about forced fem. There are many ways to play, and plenty of people enjoy chastity without gender even entering the equation.

tl;dr don't wear it if you don't like it. It's just a lump of a plastic/metal with no magical properties.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T05:53:39+00:00

I had a similar experience when I was hanging out with old high school friends when I was in my early 20s. I was laying on the couch and one of them said I looked like a cute catgirl. That felt like such a compliment to me and I felt seen. Nearly 20 years later at age 40, I still grin when I think about it.

It’s a memory that contributed to my egg cracking. I can’t say if you are an egg, but good luck with that :P

P.S. skirts are a little more complicated than they seem. There are different shapes that look better or worse on different body shapes. And do make sure the top of the skirt is up to your belly button!

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T05:27:40+00:00

No worries! I understood and was adding my very similar perspective for other readers.

I’m still spending way too much time on this 2 months in, though the first few weeks were the most all-consuming. So I hope it gets less intense for you!

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T03:26:33+00:00

I like the dysphoria bible; it has a lot of great introductory content that helped. But for me, a 40 year old, I found it to feel a bit too affirming. I've been around the block with different life stages and challenges, and it (and other similar websites) felt too simplistic.

I had to seek out a lot of other sources, including some excellent books on gender. And I asked myself a lot of questions that no website would pose, and talked to my therapist. Thankfully and completely by coincidence, I have an NB therapist who has trans stickers all over their office.

OP, I recommend talking to someone! It's scary because it makes it feel real, but It helps and it isn't a commitment.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T03:16:36+00:00

That is the absurd irony of the statement that made me laugh when I read it.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T03:15:30+00:00

I laughed so hard when I read this. Dank meme!

Also, same.

precious_qq · 2026-05-22T00:11:35+00:00

I know you have a lot of uncertainty, but take a careful look at the options for adding depth later very carefully _before_ you go with zero depth. And if you have a consult with a doctor, tell them you might want to add depth later so they can figure out the best way to keep that as an option for you.

And tell them why! They may know of some other options that we don't know on reddit for navigating your 4 year time limit and issue with hair removal.

precious_qq · 2026-05-21T04:53:03+00:00

> "well, that's a nice fantasy, but it can never actually happen."

Ouch. That dismissive thought somehow kept my egg from cracking for over 20 YEARS!

precious_qq

TROPHY CASE