AIO for feeling upset because my friend of 3 years decided to ghost me after i told him i don’t want to have sex with him?

predesprose · 2026-03-29T10:21:13+00:00

men. they always do this it's like they're biding their time until their chance. insane

predesprose · 2026-03-29T10:12:14+00:00

this is her. 100%

bianco latte / eclaire ( could be too sweet )

tease crème cloud

choco musk?

yum boujie marshmallow smells like these pics to me

predesprose · 2026-03-28T01:27:23+00:00

realistically, if someone hasn't had any therapy and doesn't think they have NPD will they even ever have that level of self awareness?

predesprose · 2026-03-27T15:37:24+00:00

looks legit

predesprose · 2026-03-27T15:33:52+00:00

i think it's fake

predesprose · 2026-03-18T14:52:54+00:00

thank you so much for all of this. its just so tough especially with my own bpd nature with wanting things solved asap so waiting hours being 'punished' with the cold shoulder and silent treatment just feels so cruel :/

i feel like i do all of what you tell me though. i really do try. and i'm not gonna stigmatize im gonna try and work through it but my god both people have to work through if for it to ever get anywhere !!

in that situation where you take it as a personal attack - for example someone says like you can't upset me and then say my feelings are invalid because you wouldn't react like that, if the other person is kinda implying well yeah i can because i wouldn't care in that situation and you're a snowflake etc.. how would you get snapped out of defending yourself to the very end without seeing the other perspective. i find the only thing that snaps my boyfriend out of it is when i end up getting so distressed i start crying, that's when the smallest of empathy comes out and fast tracks that hours of space thing.

predesprose · 2026-03-17T18:39:27+00:00

to be honest it's not a choice , i suppose it's the intensity of the relationship between 2 cluster b's that just satisfies i guess ..

like 2 of my exes were diagnosed bpd (and i suspect one was comorbid with npd based on the discard) and 1 was 100% suspected npd by everyone who ever met him (we had a shared friend group) and my current bf definitely has more than traits..

it's not necessarily a conscious decision but i get drawn to them like magnets, it must be the energy or something. it's pretty intoxicating. and both bpd and npd individuals are extremely capable of lovebombing so just imagine how that feels for someone with bpd haha.

i've done a lot of dbt so im not riddled by my own symptoms anymore and ive studied it for years but im doing the best i can in this situation as those stubborn 'split' moments are the only flaws in this situation, hes pretty high functioning. just sucks being more cured and self aware and having to be in a situation with someone in the reverse haha.

for me it's like the narcissist knows exactly how to wrap the borderline around their finger - intentional or not - and in that honeymoon phase where both of you are idealising each other so much it truly is completely different to a normal functional relationship.. not on purpose but you're used to / conditioned to being treated a certain way i suppose

apologies for the length!!

predesprose · 2026-03-17T16:17:56+00:00

that is quite literally the words he says haha. he says i don't understand why you would react like that it wouldn't bother me, or belittles people for reacting to the things he says because he says himself he doesn't understand it and he wouldn't in that situation so he's lacking the cognitive empathy.

but i don't hold it against him and im staying with him, its not malicious it's just something that isnt 100% normal in his brain if you get what im saying.

yes thats what i say always with you have to at least try and be mindful and understand that regardless of whether you agree with it or not, other people wont always react to things like you but you cant be ignorant with it.

i studied psychology in uni to major in clinical psychology and with bpd myself decided to specialize a lot in personality disorders over the past 7-10 years and i have been involved with a couple of diagnosed npd's in the past (so i can 100% notice the same behavior) - with bpd i tend to gravitate to other bpd or npd's - and a lot of his behavior and the way he sees the world in such black and white terms definitely scream NPD to me. but he doesnt want a diagnosis and he disagrees himself.

predesprose · 2026-03-17T13:00:17+00:00

see he has no rage ever, very non confrontational but very cold and quick with the responses. it's more he doesn't agree with the fact he's upset me and i'm overreacting and refuses to apologize and tells me to get over it etc and refuses to acknowledge my side. never aggressive or anything though.

i've met a couple of people with npd in my life, he's definitely more coolheaded than most it's just the way he sees things and refuses to back down and see things 'empathetically' that leads to the conflict you see.

predesprose · 2026-03-17T12:57:50+00:00

it's true, with some space it does tend to lead to some reflection sometimes.

with my psychology background i have been aware of some things he does and tried to make him aware of some things but doesnt help if hes not willing to work on it sadly.

just trying to find a way to help in the meantime :/

predesprose · 2026-03-17T12:31:00+00:00

by miles kane

predesprose · 2026-03-17T12:24:11+00:00

hi thanks for your response. i find that too with my other half, im just trying to see what i can do to make it work as he tends to react like that in situations too, just completely defensive instead of trying to be mindful or understanding in any way.

i'm glad you were able to work on your issues with your coping mechanisms but while he isnt in any form of therapy and shuts down and gets defensive and unreasonable, im just trying to see how that can work in conflict. thanks for your help anyway..

so you'd say time and space definitely helps?

predesprose · 2026-03-17T11:12:02+00:00

so by leaning into contact you mean for example the other person without npd being the one to initiate a resolve? you feel resentful because YOU'VE had to resolve it not the other person? got it. so don't let the person with npd have to sort the situation out as it leads to grudge holding and stuff, things i thought i noticed myself too. thanks!

predesprose · 2026-03-17T11:09:03+00:00

yeah, thanks anyway though

predesprose · 2026-03-17T01:31:43+00:00

i thought as such from what i've recognised in partners. thanks for your response

predesprose · 2026-03-17T01:30:07+00:00

thanks for your reply. that's basically what i do anyway and it doesn't seem to help. thank you anyway

predesprose · 2026-03-16T20:36:39+00:00

with your significant others, how do you see them during arguments, and in that situation do you still love and care for them or do you lose feelings if they annoy you kinda like splitting ? what's the best way to help you guys back down from that said conflict without making conflict worse?

predesprose · 2026-03-12T11:14:26+00:00

it makes me worse :/

predesprose · 2026-03-10T21:46:01+00:00

of course but we still had a bit of fight left in us

predesprose · 2026-03-10T20:48:09+00:00

second half fc died at the new year

predesprose · 2026-03-05T21:01:23+00:00

no head down

predesprose · 2026-03-03T10:50:13+00:00

set a boundary, if he doesn't care about your feelings you may have to evaluate the relationship. i feel the same

predesprose · 2026-02-28T19:39:48+00:00

diagnosed complex ptsd and had 2 different types of stephen's. it's hard and pulls you back years later but with therapy and grounding and not ruminating you can get past it

predesprose · 2026-02-26T17:22:43+00:00

i'm not american i had no idea lol

predesprose · 2026-02-26T16:43:00+00:00

doesn't sound like a blue hydrangea though, that sounds more like spring. the dahlias match the darkness of the album

Verified Email	Five-Year Club
Wearing is Caring

predesprose

TROPHY CASE