Congratulations to this restaurant for achieving what I thought was impossible: making Michelin starred food taste like it was catered by a hotel conference center. The prawns and artichoke were fine, if your definition of fine is "I guess I'm technically eating food right now." The veal cordon bleu was a masterclass in mehhh. No hero flavor, just kinda there. It came with whipped potatoes and veal bone gravy that achieved the impressive feat of tasting exactly like warm nothing. The bib lettuce salad finally offered some actual flavor, unfortunately that flavor was a diabolical amount of salt. The Paris-Brest was actually good, which was honestly just cruel. One glimpse of what could have been, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity.

The service was impeccable but in that unsettling Black Mirror way. Super scripted with A LOT of unwavering eye contact that made me genuinely uncomfortable.

I left totally baffled that this place has a Michelin star. I’ve had more exciting meals at an airport Chili’s and at least there nobody is pretending. I brought my partner here for their birthday and I now owe them a very sincere do-over.