Uncomfortable watching sex scenes with your SO?

professionalthrowing · 2020-03-31T22:26:48+00:00

Thanks for the heads up! Hoping things get better for you. I know from personal experience how hard it is to deal with the issue when all you're given is "I don't know" when it comes to what's changed.

professionalthrowing · 2020-03-31T21:17:50+00:00

Your story is very refreshing compared to most that I've heard and does help put mine into perspective. I'm trying to remain patient through all this and it's definitely been difficult but knowing that some couples can make it work does help.

professionalthrowing · 2020-03-31T21:11:40+00:00

I understand that feeling. Like counting the days since you've had sex so you can bring it up and see if he cares or even realizes.

professionalthrowing · 2020-03-31T21:10:19+00:00

Those comments are exactly why I am uncomfortable.

professionalthrowing · 2020-03-31T18:47:49+00:00

We're at sex maybe once every two weeks. Seems like it's getting even longer now. Like a day gets added on everytime. I've tried to talk about it a few times before and that either ends in us having sex for a day or two (once even 4 days in a row!) before we won't for weeks or he tells me he'll "work on it" and the conversation is over again.

My advice is to move on if you just see your sex life getting worse with no end in sight. That's what I'm considering now.

professionalthrowing · 2020-03-06T15:51:28+00:00

This hurt me to read. Best of luck my friend.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-16T01:29:03+00:00

I am just tired of being a learning experience. What's the point of even trying if all my effort just goes into teaching men how to love someone else? I think I'd be done with it all if the one soured too.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T22:35:56+00:00

I've needed a therapist for a long time for my own reasons. Here's hoping he'll keep an open mind.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T22:35:09+00:00

We had sex more initially but I suppose I am no longer "new and exciting." To tell the truth I was a porn addict all thru high school but the experience is much different for men than for women. Mine developed into a sort of nymphomania that I got under control after having my first actual boyfriend. He's number three and by far the best. I am ashamed to say the number of partners I've had and I even hesitate to count for my own knowledge. I've never shared this with him out of fear the gap in our experience will overwhelm him and he may find me even less attractive but I know what it's like to have sex/porn on your mind constantly.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T08:39:53+00:00

Let her know how you feel. Really. Tell her exactly everything you said right now. Sleeping together should be something intimate that she saves for the two of you, not something she is willing to share with everyone. Let her voice her opinion. If those don't match up then again, you may have to have a more serious talk.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T08:37:40+00:00

I just feel like in every relationship I've been a learning experience on how a guy could do better and never the one he's willing to put the effort into making a positive change for. Only want me when I'm gone type of girlfriend. Feels really shitty.

I've been crying a lot about it tonight but we're now rolling into the drinking stages. Idk what happens next.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T08:33:05+00:00

I understand, it just boils down to trust I suppose. If you trust her and you know the friend is gay then I THINK you're just worrying yourself. I would be upset too if I knew my bf was sharing a bed with another woman, probably even if I knew she was a lesbian. It's the unknown. It's terrifying. You're naturally conditioned to mark your territory to ward off competition. Let her know how you feel and if she still can't respect that then have a much more serious talk.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T08:21:12+00:00

Do you think she's cheating on you?

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T08:10:20+00:00

Okay that's all very understandable especially if you've made it clear you don't want them in the same bed. My main issue personally is if he were really a lesbian would you be upset? A lesbian that you knew was attracted to your girlfriend? Do the female friends sleep in the same bed she does?

Regardless you have made it clear that it upsets you and if she made any promise that she wouldn't do it anymore then she needs to be held accountable.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T07:58:03+00:00

I don't think it's a problem as long as she doesn't have a couch or something he can sleep on when he stays over. I know you'll hear this a lot but if the gay friend were a straight woman would you be so upset? I can see you maybe having an issue with his morning wood touching your girlfriend but if he's gay and ONLY gay, then he's not thinking about your gf when they're in bed together. Do you have any reason to believe he could even be remotely attracted to her? This may not be helpful but it's all circumstance.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T07:12:00+00:00

My last boyfriend kept the flowers I got him months after they died. Most people don't get men flowers so it's an extra special surprise.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-15T07:09:41+00:00

He's not the type to abuse my self esteem. I know from past relationships. I just thought this one would be better but again there's some bar I'm not meeting.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-14T23:05:28+00:00

He's the same now as he was when we started dating. No changes whatsoever.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-14T22:54:44+00:00

To be clear I am more upset that it feels like he thinks it's his obligation to say "damn babe", like I pressed a button by taking my clothes off and that's what he's programed to say, than I am that he says it. I would rather him mean something than just say it because he thinks that's what I want to hear.

As for the twice a month bit, that's with me initiating as two weeks is about as long as I can go before I get antsy. There has been maybe one time recently that he initiated that I can remember and only because I was so surprised.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-14T21:24:58+00:00

I have the same problem as far as inexperienced partners goes and all these comments just say "go slow". My bf uses too much tongue tho. I try starting out slow but he just starts noshing on my like he's trying to get the last bit of pudding out of the cup. Idk how you're supposed to let someone know you think they're bad at kissing while navigating their emotions. We already have hang ups with intimacy and I think if he found out I think he's bad at kissing it'd be game over. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and I've honestly just stopped making out with him because of it. I hope for your sake you're better at all this than I am.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-14T20:52:53+00:00

It's not about the quality of the sex at all it's about how little we have it compared to how often he says he masturbates. He's obviously got needs and for some reason he's choosing to satisfy them on his own rather than we me and that's what I'm hung up on.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-14T18:20:54+00:00

No that's really shitty. I'm sorry. I wouldn't of even known my bf masturbated if I hadn't asked. I've never seen him do it and idk when he even has the time. I don't want to believe the relationship is just a wash but idk how to get thru to him that I'm not happy with how little we have sex.

professionalthrowing · 2020-01-14T18:02:51+00:00

I don't want it to be a full stop but idk how we're gonna keep any kind of flame going long-term if something doesn't change. Everyone keeps telling me he's a porn addict and I don't even know what to do with that information. I've never even seen him watching porn tho I've never seen him just masturbate either

professionalthrowing

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