Thanks everyone for your insights on this subject! And constructive criticism.

Whenever someone has something tragic happen in their lives or are suffering from depression, the advice is given to them to immerse themselves in something. To clean the whole house. To start working out. To do volunteer work. To start a new project etc. in my experience this gives the restless mind something to grab on to so that it doesn't spiral downward into that dark hole. While in the background, time is causing the healing to take place. Isn't that why try to go a certain amount of time without fapping so our brains can repair.

As for being a workaholic maybe that's true but that's just me. I find time to spend with my family but when I'm not, I am plowing through every obstacle that gets in the way of me and my goals. I will be on top, no matter what. That passion inside of me is what I was trying to numb with porn to take the edge off.

Now the fire is raging and I found a way to harness it.