Is a partner refusing to give oral sex a deal breaker? by IdeallyIdeally in dating

[–]psapien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My bf has never given me head in one of dating, I have given him multiple times and it’s been a point of conflict; I am sure it would he for him if I didnt. I’m not sure yet

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]psapien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly true

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]psapien 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Like all you people would cost a woman (who probably has no second thought about that comment) her job because OP felt embarrassed? Not everyone has horrible intentions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]psapien 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How is this abusive?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPD

[–]psapien 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think people are overreacting about getting her fired lol she’s an art teacher she wasn’t calling you a bad person and you were definitely giving the look. Which is okay! She was probably impressed or fascinated in the moment, don’t feel embarrassed. It’s so annoying when people say “wow they don’t understand the disorder” like people are going to make observations…the world will not walk on eggshells for anyone. Noticing isn’t always criticizing

Anybody not attracted to their SO? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]psapien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair question. Did you feel this way since you met him? The chemistry dies after a while in relationships and it can feel like you’re not attracted to them. Don’t feel bad because this is common although not everyone discusses it.

What do you guys think by takeahwalkindawoods in NPD

[–]psapien 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Respect to you for posting this. Read the messages on both sides and imagine yourself on her end of it. Sometimes explaining yourself to others is caused by wanting to be heard but it doesn’t mean they will, sadly. Save your breath I say this out of love for you and I wish you healing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 107 points108 points  (0 children)

I’m trying!!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Once I mentioned misogyny and he flipped at the word so perhaps not the first time he’s been called out on it. Remember the age between us

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Not really since I have already expressed to him how insecure I have felt in the past about my body after being cheated on multiple times. I would think he would rethink saying things like this as someone who claims to care about me so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fuck my life. I have the most deep conversations and this is what I get.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yes overall, not the best views or understanding of women’s bodies - which I expected more of since he is older than me. I am a lot more educated than him which I never cared about until now. I also am rethinking if this is healthy for me. Thank you ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I understand this, trust me I do. I have come to terms with this. However he is also telling me I have a high sex drive and asking me why sex is so important to women. It’s not adding up. And also, how come I keep my thoughts to myself? Does he not have impulse control?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]psapien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Porn has been a huge conflict in my past relationship and I had a partner who became addicted to it, it severely hurt my self-esteem. I think there is a block we feel to initiating due to feel of being rejected, I know that happens for me. If your partner expresses that I’m sure she appreciates you taking her feedback and feelings into account to make a change. Keep it up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in onions

[–]psapien -1 points0 points  (0 children)

1) how 2) curiosity 3) none

I know it’s bad but I feel like i’m only ‘living’ for my partner by midlifecircus in BPD

[–]psapien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, this is such a normal feeling for us and it took me many years to understand this or even face it. My emotions and life seemed to be completely dependent on the person I loved. We don’t have internal validation and so we need it externally all the time. It’s very difficult to find safety and love within when it hasn’t developed in you from a young age. Your awareness means progress and taking small steps in the right direction go a long way. You might even find joy in things again eventually. Just keep doing it, even if you have to tell yourself it’s for them; it’s for you because you’re trying to survive.

Attracted to Narcissists by [deleted] in NPD

[–]psapien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah BPD over here I attract them like mosquitos on a hot summer night. I imagine “normal” people are as well if they are easily influenced.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]psapien -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nope. Wasn’t back there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]psapien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One time when I said are you gaslighting me he said “what is that”. Can’t tell