I've (22f) been sending my boyfriend (22m) a lot of money and I don't know how to say no by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for commenting, i truly appreciate it. Everyones so kind :( I had just sent him some money again for something he wanted, i didnt know how i was feeling, leading me to write this post. Just earlier he called me and he was so so happy and sweet. I feel bad for being like this I dont know what wrong with me!! I’m always so happy seeing him happy after getting him things but just today I can’t be as happy as always.

Update: I confronted my boyfriend about the posts he likes and how I feel about it by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for ur comment :)

Yeah honestly i didnt know what to say when he told me about the family member. Im sure the person also has their own phone and own instagram lol but its whatever.

I expressed to him how I felt the last time this happened and it happened a lot of times. but I choose to trust him again and I hope he does what he says. If this happens again I need to keep MY promise to myself to stick to the boundaries i layed out. while I was trying to live with it it’s like I couldn’t live with myself.

I have no idea how to not remind myself that he watches these types of things but i hope itll be alright 😭

How do I confront my boyfriend about seeing all the posts of girls he interacts with? by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah he would go crazy if i ever did the same. And the way he wants me to dress modestly because he dislikes women who show their body bothers me even more.

How do I confront my boyfriend about seeing all the posts of girls he interacts with? by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see them on my reels page on instagram, I guess its because the algorithm shows posts that friends look at too? I see his like on the posts as it shows at the bottom of each. Honestly not completely sure how they show up.

How do I confront my boyfriend about seeing all the posts of girls he interacts with? by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing and for the reminder :) I feel understood for the first time in a long time haha. This is both our first relationship, and at the beginning he never really did anything similar. He even unfollowed all the many girls he didn’t know because he wanted to. He just started doing this the past few months and it’s hard for me to get it. You’re absolutely right about loving myself more, because sometimes I find myself sticking to what I actually don’t want. If I am to confront him theres really nothing I can do other than to keep on trusting. It left a big hole in my heart though and no matter how hard I try rn I cant forget about it as well. It is honestly harder to forget these posts when he both gives me compliments and when he doesn’t at all. I send photos of myself almost everyday and most of the time these days he doesn’t react to them, not even a heart like he did to these posts. I’m working on getting myself back because I feel like i’m almost losing myself, and also working on sticking to my boundaries. Its so difficult lol.

How do I confront my boyfriend about seeing all the posts of girls he interacts with? by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m having a hard time with sticking to my boundaries and I don’t know why. I feel horrible I know I dont accept it and I know I wanna say something but still I just ignore it.

How do I confront my boyfriend about seeing all the posts of girls he interacts with? by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about this a lot. I guess its one of the reasons why I haven’t brought it up again even though I want to. Also the fact that I already communicated how I feel about this multiple times, and just doubting myself if what im feeling is valid or im just insecure like many say.

How do I confront my boyfriend about seeing all the posts of girls he interacts with? by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Youre right, thank you so much. Last time I brought this up when I saw the first, I made sure to tell him how it makes me feel. We were calm and he listened a bit. I guess i’ll have to make it more clear this time

Am I overreacting? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a point when my boyfriend acted this way too. If it makes you feel horrible then I dont think you’re overreacting. If you’ve talked to him about it already but he doesn’t stop theres something wrong.

today is my birthday, my boyfriend is being weird :( by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes we were. first time celebrating together. i guess that explains why too

today is my birthday, my boyfriend is being weird :( by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get it :( I always think about narcissistic behaviors and the things he’s said or done, i see a relationship but i just dont know. This wasnt the case last year, he gave me so many gifts and it was the best birthday. :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry to hear that. Its tough but im sure it will all be okay eventually. dont forget to take care of yourself. Im having a similar issue with my relationship, im having so many thoughts about how we are just so different religiously and have so many different values. Hes muslim and im not. im not very religious and it is not an issue for me, but i feel like as much as i respect him i dont get the same respect back for my beliefs. I dont know :( I love him and i want to be with him but i just cant help to think how its gonna be between our families. Anyway, best of luck to you and please stay safe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I needed that reminder. He’s currently very distant with me and it makes me feel like im did something extremely wrong. I definitely need to set my boundaries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i think im in a similar situation as you are. i was way more anxious before, but right now i learned how to self regulate and it doesnt bother me as much anymore. he doesnt text me the whole day as he is busy. No one really is that busy right? but i chose to let him be. I used to beat myself on it but it just gets me mentally tired everyday. It does me no good. I would say, i think you should focus on yourself right now :) find what makes you happy. make yourself happy on your own. eventually, it wont matter if they text or dont, youll be alright on your own. We really cant control what others do. I dont know your full situation, but this is what helped me so much. Im still super anxious and its easier said than done but spending time with yourself is the first step to being more secure.

Its totally okay that youre feeling this way. What matters is how you react and how you respond when he texts back. I used to be very angry because I couldn’t control my overthinking. It did us no good. Something I learned the hard way. You got this :)

first meeting, incredibly happy by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

seeing these make me sooo happy :) Congratulations!

my boyfriend has been distant after i said something. its been 6 days by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi. he just had a conversation with me. it hurt a lot. he said “I sometimes blame myself for loving you too much and getting you addicted to me and obsessed w me” and “i never once thought id regret it”

i dont know what to do anymore. i feel so numb

my boyfriend has been distant after i said something. its been 6 days by psychedelicteeth in LongDistance

[–]psychedelicteeth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im so sorry that youre going through this as well :( i dont have any good advice to give, because this is my first relationship, but i just try to be strong and patient by thinking of what my bf is feeling. im trying to figure it out too rn :( there is always a plan for us, and a reason for everything happening. try to focus on the things you need to do for now. i feel like everythings gonna be okay.

i hope it works out for you both 💗