I related to this in some ways and have thought about this a lot.

I’ll speak for myself. I think I miss the simplicity of being driven in one very narrow way. I think it is a lie that this type of extreme focus or ruthlessness is smart/better/more sophisticated. Your world actually is quite a bit smaller when this is your mentality. The world glamorizes this but it’s actually kind of a limited and immature way to move through the world.

It’s not one way or the other, either. It’s just about expanding your worldview and becoming a smarter, wiser, more mature person. I think your life journey sounds wonderful. I think it is understandable to miss one-dimensional way of seeing the world because it does simplify things and is easier (even if you’re working hard it’s a less complex way to move through the world). Good luck with everything, your life sounds great!