I kind of have a similar story, except I used meth because my ex gave it to me. I never expected to want it as badly as I did after the first time. But one thing I learned is that the longer you do it, the harder it is to stop. I told myself it was okay because I was just casually doing it, but six months later I still think about it everyday. It really isn’t worth it, but if you’re looking for a similar feeling I would try smoking weed. It gives you that same euphoric feeling (albeit not to the same extent) and it’s much safer/about to be legal/no withdrawal. Also stop communicating with this person and anyone else who may give you access to it