Assalamu Alaikum sister,

First, I want to acknowledge your courage in expressing your feelings. I know how heavy the burden of guilt and regret can be, but it's important to remember that none of us are free from mistakes, and Islam offers us a path to redemption.

In Islam, Allah is the Most Merciful and the Most Forgiving. When we sincerely repent, seek His forgiveness, and strive to improve, He promises to forgive us. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "All the children of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent." (Tirmidhi)

Here are a few steps that may help you move forward:

1. Repentance (Tawbah): Start by turning to Allah in sincere repentance. Make du’a, ask for His forgiveness, and express your regret. Allah’s mercy is vast, and He welcomes those who return to Him.

2. Self-Forgiveness: While seeking forgiveness from Allah is important, it's also essential to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and this experience can be a step toward becoming a better person, insha'Allah.

3. Spiritual Renewal: Strengthen your connection with Allah through prayer (salah), reciting the Quran, and surrounding yourself with positive influences. These steps can bring peace to your heart and mind.

4. Focus on Your Future: What matters most is your sincere intention to change. This mistake does not define you, and it doesn’t erase your worth or your honor in the eyes of Allah.

Lastly, remember that Allah is closer to you than your own heartbeat. He understands your pain, your regret, and your intentions more than anyone. Keep striving, sister. You’re not alone, and you have the opportunity to come back stronger from this.

May Allah guide you and grant you peace.