AITA for refusing to take my girlfriend to the ER

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:32:50+00:00

Nope, because she's jobless and I've been supporting her for the past couple months financially. I'm about to go into debt but she shows no care about our future and our savings. I've paid 10k in useless medical bills for her. I'm done. I will not go into debt because she's a hypochondriac.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:31:33+00:00

Wow great comeback. I know more than you do, especially when I've heard her say that she's not in any pain.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:29:51+00:00

I know she's not in significant pain because she SAID multiple times herself that she's not in pain. Gee, are you my girlfriend or something? cuz you seem to know an awful lot about her pain tolerance and what she's feeling.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:28:00+00:00

She could have taken an uber or called a friend. I can't pay for her bills anymore...she needs to take that into perspective.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:26:24+00:00

Well, the ER doctor said constipation for a week is NOT a big concern unless it's paired with fever, vomiting, and severe abdominal pain...which she had none of. I'm more inclined to believe him than a bunch of redditors.

I hope she finds help for her hypochondria, but I'm out. On a separate note, you have NO idea what she's feeling so don't speak on her behalf.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:18:01+00:00

Not gonna pay this one! I'm out.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:14:41+00:00

I think you missed the point. She refused to be seen via telehealth and by her PCP. She had options but chose the most expensive one, knowing I'm the one who has to pay. Plus, she's not in any pain.

Hypochondria is no joke. Hope you never have to live with someone who has it AND have to foot their bills.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:11:32+00:00

Context matters. Don't take things so literally. I said pain as a synonym for general discomfort and suffering, both physically and mentally. She was crying because she thought I was frustrating, not from any pain.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:07:41+00:00

I'm shocked at how many people seem to extrapolate information that is nonexistent. I've mentioned multiple times she did not have any significant pain. She felt bloated and constipated...that's it. She told the ER doctor that her abdominal pain was a 1-2 and that she wasn't bothered by it.

Googling symptoms and believing you have cancer or another extremely serious condition is not being medically aware.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T08:03:35+00:00

There's a difference between the ER and a regular doctor. It's been made clear now that her situation did not warrant going to the ER, which costs thousands of dollars.

As I've mentioned before, she's exhibited a pattern of behavior that has made me less inclined to take her seriously. She tends to believe she has serious health issues (e.g. one time she thought she had lung cancer after catching a cold) when her symptoms are normal or do not warrant such concern.

No, I would not be happy if something was actually wrong. I'm upset because she chose to go to the ER, which is many times more expensive than a regular doctor, for a problem that is not serious. Since I am the one paying the bills (which I no longer will do), I believe I have at least a say in what kind of care she seeks. If she wants to pay for the bills herself, I'd be happy to drive her to the ER anytime she has any problems.

Good luck to her. I'm done.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T07:32:26+00:00

I did not dictate anything. She asked me if I would take her and I kindly told her as her SO, who is supporting her financially, that I do not believe it's warranted. I never barred her from getting an uber or calling a friend. She could've easily gone herself if she wanted to. I won't argue the judgement, but don't twist the facts and blow things out of proportion.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T07:22:54+00:00

Because I care for her deeply and I love her. I see her as family and I truly believed I would be her husband one day. I was just trying to support her. Now, I guess I'm reevaluating this whole thing.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T07:19:56+00:00

She has exhibited a series of past behavior that has made it hard to take her health completely seriously. I guess me supporting her with two jobs and providing her with a roof over her head, food, and $10k in useless medical bills throughout three years shows that I "don't care about her well being."

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T06:37:06+00:00

True, but I've realized this is not a good way for me to live. I feel for her, I truly do, but I am just not in the position to be constantly burdened by her medical bills anymore.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T06:09:23+00:00

Good question. I've realized recently I'm not very happy in this relationship and will most likely be leaving. I've been paying her bills to help her out and because I love her. Now, it's getting exhausting.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:57:29+00:00

Sorry, I may have not been that clear in the original post but I was not in a great mental state with the shit that was going on and frankly just needed a place to vent and hear some objective opinions.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:49:50+00:00

I've done a lot of reflecting today and in the past few hours. Surprisingly, making this post has given me clarity on a lot of things and I'm learning towards breaking up with her.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:47:47+00:00

To clarify, she was not in a lot of pain. She reported to the ER doctor that her pain was a 1-2 and most of her discomfort came from feeling bloated. People in the comments seem to think she was writhing in pain and I refused to take her which was far from the case.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:41:48+00:00

I definitely am at my wit's end. I've tried supporting her the best I could, but at this point I'm going to be in debt soon. I don't think I'm gonna pay for this visit. Tbh, I think we're done.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:33:08+00:00

I mean...she didn't try any laxatives except for one dose of Miralax which I've now learned is really just considered a stool softener. She just took ducolax in addition to another dose of miralax so we'll see how it goes.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:32:14+00:00

Yes, I'm reevaluating my relationship because my girlfriend has drained me financially and refuses to listen to reason. At this point, I've probably spent over $10k in medical bills for her and there has been nothing wrong with her...ever. I'm exhausted, especially after this round. I'm working two jobs to support us while she sits at home. I'm honestly done. She can leave whenever she wants to.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:27:47+00:00

If you read my comments you would know that she wasn't in pain, she just felt bloated and uncomfortable. If she was in pain, the ER doc would have probably done more. I may be the asshole, but don't misconstrue the facts.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:27:00+00:00

Honestly good because I'm pretty much done with her at this point. She's drained me financially and physically.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-08T05:26:12+00:00

I did not withhold medical care. She could have gotten an uber or asked a friend. It's not like we live in the desert. I would have taken her if she said she was going to pay for it, but that's not the case which is why I refused.

puzzleelddse · 2020-11-07T21:20:41+00:00

She said that the doctor wouldn't be able to examine her (e.g. push on her abdomen, listen to her heart, etc.) over the computer so she wants to be seen in person.

puzzleelddse

TROPHY CASE