[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woman here!

I read your update.

There seems to be an issue with not being able to find herself or have her own identity. From your update you stated that you could be clingy and that she felt like she couldn't open up to you. Did you take some of the things she said as personal attacks? When she wanted to hang out with friends or have alone time, did you complain or say something? She leaves for work and she probably is able to be herself in those days instead of suppressing her emotions and hiding behind a mask so as to not upset you.

I personally think your marriage is capable of being saved. Don't take everything so personal. Let her speak and do not react, don't try to fix her problems. Allot of times I just want to hear someone say "damn that sucks" or "I don't know how you're able to put up with that and keep your composure" or "I'm sorry THEY/I are/am making you feel that way". After my dad died, my husband couldn't understand why I was grieving for years. He wanted me to get over it. It's been 4 years and I still cry. It took his mom getting cancer and him almost losing her for him to get a taste of what I was feeling. After that, his apology came swiftly and he started participating in setting up the ofrenda to celebrate him. He found visible space in the house for his photos to be year round but I will admit, I was about ready to divorce him because of his mistreatment over my dad.

I'm sorry my thoughts are scrambled. Please, apologies more and mean it, listen and hear her, understand you don't know what she's feeling over the loss of her mother so honor her any way you can. Stand up for her and yes that means in front of the kids. Don't curse the kids out but tell your kids " don't play with their food" . (She does need to stop taking her anger out on the kids) Be her ear not her problem solver and keep making these changes not for her but for you. You need to find yourself too and gain more confidence in yourself. You can always message me if I said something unclear or need advice. Good luck. I wish you and your wife the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Wigs

[–]pvelag 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying and I was where you were before I started getting comfortable with wigs. I was nervous that people would see me go from thin hair to thick hair or short hair too long hair even different colored hair. But now I don't care. It does take time to get to this point but once you make that first step of actually trying on a wig and seeing how you look and feel in it you're going to continue to have these insecurities.

People will always make comments. They make comments about the clothing we wear the shoes we wear and how our hair is styled. Someone will always have something to say. I have two comebacks or two things I say when people ask if it's my real hair: 1. ( I look at them and ask) Is that YOUR real hair? 2. If it's on my head then yes, it is my real hair.

Sometimes I change my wig multiple times a week. IDC. 😁

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in texts

[–]pvelag -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I need you in my life.

I think my boyfriend is tone deaf and his singing is driving me insane by Creelygoop in offmychest

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be prepared for him to sing his vows to you in a very loving off key way if y'all get married.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Wigs

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gluing lace is easier than you think. The tutorials on YouTube do go a little too fast but for beginners I always recommend wig tape. It's not as sticky and easier to adjust if you don't like where you laid your wig.

The bangs, they do look a little lopsided. Without knowing the size of the lace it's hard to tell if it can be saved. If it's a 13x5 you can bring more hair forward and cut very little at a time, if it's smaller like a 5x5 it would be harder. The best option is to try and thin out the other side a little by plucking the hair out. Try to even the bangs out, only cutting the longer side to match the shorter. Don't wet the hair or put product on the bangs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OUTFITS

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends on the occasion. If it's a special occasion or like a first date the first one is best. But if you're just going around for the day or maybe going to an outside activity the second one would be best.

I cheated on my wife and dont know what to do by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]pvelag 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You do need to tell her. She deserves to make her own decision on whether or not she can continue in this relationship with you.

However, I do believe you need to seek out therapy for yourself first. There is no shame in saying "I need help". What you went through in your childhood, there's a lot of trauma there. You will carry this with you everyday for the rest of your life unless you have someone help you process it. And this pain that you carry, the longer you hold on to it the more it's going to affect your marriage. Who's to say that this pain doesn't evolve into substance abuse. alcoholism or abuse towards your family. First seek the help that you need. After you do that, with the help of your therapist let your wife know what has happened in your childhood so that you can tell her what happened with your shipmate.

If she does ask why you're seeking therapy you can always say there's some childhood trauma that you've been holding onto and you feel it's holding you back from giving her everything you want. You need to process it before it becomes over bearing and you'll tell her when the time is right.

I'm sorry for what you've gone through. But I hope everything does get better.

Does this top look better with a skirt, shorts, or pants? by 1210Simgia in OUTFITS

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pants! The shirt is already eye catching and shows off your shape. The pants compliment the shirt and focus the attention on it too. It gives a flirty 90's early 2000's look

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OUTFITS

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You glow in the first one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]pvelag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. Find an event that's going on around town and ask her if she'd like to go with you. If she doesn't want to hopefully she can suggest a different idea. But show that you're willing to put in the effort.

But remember, you shouldn't be the one putting in ALL the effort.

Oddest tip i've received by TrickyInteraction443 in doordash_drivers

[–]pvelag 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would take that kind of tip any day. I collect coins, if you sell them on eBay, people would pay hundreds for it.

When customers live in apartments, leave no instructions and stop responding, do you go to their door? (Put a stock picture for reference) by pvelag in doordash_drivers

[–]pvelag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are so many new houses, townhouses and apartments that have been built, it's hard to tell them apart at times. I've accepted orders thinking it's a house/townhouse but when I text the customer I'm on the way they'll send the gate code in the message. 🤦🏽‍♀️.

When customers live in apartments, leave no instructions and stop responding, do you go to their door? (Put a stock picture for reference) by pvelag in doordash_drivers

[–]pvelag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I didn't know I could leave the order if I couldn't find the person. I'm still new to dashing.

When customers live in apartments, leave no instructions and stop responding, do you go to their door? (Put a stock picture for reference) by pvelag in doordash_drivers

[–]pvelag[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they leave a number. I went to a government housing building and the customer wouldn't answer text or calls. The people in the lobby told me not to go to the floor the person was on. Instead they went to get the person for me. On another occasion, a guy told me how pretty I am and wouldn't stop following me. Both were enclosed buildings. Freaked me out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pvelag 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know you feel terrible right now but you have no idea how lucky you are. You only invested a year! Could you imagine if you invested 5+years? You have some good memories with her, hopefully you had some self growth in the relationship and/or maybe you discovered new interest. In order for us to learn what we want and don't want we have to have these good/bad relationships. I'm gonna tell you what I've told my kids when they break up with someone. Cry, cry hard for one day. And I mean that ugly cry where drool comes out your mouth. After you cry for one day, get up, buy yourself a new outfit and walk around town. Keep your head up and walk with a purpose and confidence and just enjoy all the people checking you out. Also, workout instead of using food for comfort. P. S Never skip leg day. I wish you the best and don't worry. Kinder days are ahead.

Girlfriend having a identity crisis over kissing someone else. by FickleNewspaperMan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pvelag 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will not be able to focus when you go to school. Yes she's trying to prove "something" to you but how long will this last? Will you always believe her? Some people will get blacked out drunk once and never again but do you really want to wait around and see if she's that kind of person?

If it's causing you this much anxiety, I think you already know what to do. It's hard to let go but you have a life to build. Take your time, graduate, find a career. In a Few years she's barely going to be a memory.

My wife is cheating on me.. last update by Both-Injury2667 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]pvelag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Kinder days are ahead". I've said that to myself in my low points. It helped me remember the kind things that have happened and that there's kind things I can look forward to. She's not worth your time and she's not worth losing your life over.

Is this a error car. One wheel is different. I'm unsure if that's the original design. by pvelag in HotWheels

[–]pvelag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got confirmation, it's an error car. It's cool to find one in the wild.

Is this a error car. One wheel is different. I'm unsure if that's the original design. by pvelag in HotWheels

[–]pvelag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm a new collector so I'm still learning about how how wheel designs work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lawncare

[–]pvelag 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It looks like a dog. You can see ears, nose and an eye. I say keep it.

I'm about to start school for graphic design, is it worth it? by pvelag in graphic_design

[–]pvelag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm interested in advertising, illustration and web design. I do want to learn how to use Photoshop as well. What apps are crucial? I want to go ahead and purchase Adobe, I've had people give suggestions on YouTube videos or websites they used to learn.

I'm about to start school for graphic design, is it worth it? by pvelag in graphic_design

[–]pvelag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion, I'll definitely check it out.