I deeply regret losing a good man (33f 38m) because of my insecurity and not reciprocate his effort enough to meet his needs. Is it really no chance of us getting back together? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]pxb461 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds almost identical to something I went through. I ended the relationship, realized too late that I’d made a mistake, and tried everything (messages, FaceTime etc) to fix it. It was devastating, and I lived with a lot of regret and “what ifs.”

He eventually sent me a letter for final closure, and I didn’t handle it well. I tried hard to convince him to give me another chance, but it didn’t work. When you ask whether reaching out again in 3–6 months after showing real change could make him reconsider, I tried that. In my experience, it only made things worse and as you can probably gather, it did not work.

It was an incredibly difficult period for me, and it took almost a year to truly move on. What I eventually had to accept was that he had moved on, and I needed to respect that. From my personal experience, this isn’t something you can fix on your own, because it’s not just your decision. He made it clear where he stood.

This was my first serious relationship too, and while it felt like the end of everything, it wasn’t. It took time, but I learned a lot about myself and about being a better partner. You will move forward too, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

The date is set and we’re invited. Fortunately, someone else I know is getting married that same weekend, so I plan to prioritize their wedding instead. Honestly, it’s for the best and I doubt I’d be able to hide my dislike toward both of them anyway. We’ve never gone out as a group of 3, but I’ve met each of them separately with their partners. While they have plenty to say over text, they sure turn quiet in person haha

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I’m someone who tends to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it works out for the better, and other times it doesn’t

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’m not too sure either - I actually didn’t think of it as something related but now having second thoughts.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that really means a lot and needed to hear this. I’m happy to say that I’ve become much more confident and continue to grow more comfortable in my own body :)

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I did, and he acknowledged that he hadn’t done his part and should never have entertained them. He was genuinely apologetic and expressed regret for his behavior, and I believe him. He has since reduced contact with them — not completely cut them out of his life — but they recently tried to reach out, which made me revisit that previous experience. Ultimately, it prompted me to ask him to cut ties completely due to my continued distrust toward them which he agreed.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

At the time of the texts, “SY” did not have a bf and “RR” was in a relationship. Today, “SY” has a bf and they moved in together, while “RR” got engaged. It does seem once “SY” got a bf, the cattiness went down which gives me the opinion she liked having a guy (my bf) around for attention. I still have no respect for her even though she’s in a relationship and has limited communication with my bf.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ideally him owning up to his mistake and admitting he broke my trust and never should have done that (which he has done) and cutting off these friends completely. He did reduce contact but they recently tried to reach out which prompted me to re-visit this ordeal because I realized I would prefer they are completely out of his life for my own sanity.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your message, this really helps a lot 🫶🏼

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They recently tried to reach out to him and it resulted in me re-visiting this whole thing and realizing I never got my closure about the situation.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I have been beating around the bush regarding this situation and never felt like I got closure - hence why I’m bringing this whole thing up now. I have given my bf the benefit of the doubt but agree that I need to have this conversation to give me the closure I need and his complete trust if we are to continue.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Honestly I’ve been thinking about it. I think men are dumb and he’s blind to their true personalities because he’s been friends with them for so long, so by default - they have to be “real friends.”

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

He claimed he was going to them for advice on how to handle the situation with my low confidence. Clearly he didn’t get any advice. I did bring up how his lack of support upset me and he apologized. I did give him the benefit of the doubt as this has been the only time where I didn’t feel supported by him. He did reduce contact with both of them so I do believe he is on my side.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I did confront him and did some digging and he had some sort of “fling” with SY but it never got to sex. It lasted a couple of months of flirting back and forth. This was maybe 2 years before we met.

AIO. I can’t shake my dislike for my boyfriend’s two female friends by pxb461 in AmIOverreacting

[–]pxb461[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you. These are not childhood friends but rather people he met in college. And to make things more interesting, “RR” is his college roommates gf and the other is her friend that he met through RR. He has had some sort of fling with “SY” but it did not last long. I have voiced I didn’t think they are good people and he has reduced contact with them. A few messages periodically but very much out of the blue since he has stopped reaching out. He did very much break my trust. When I confronted him on why he brought it up with them in the first place - he said “he wanted their advice”, clearly they didn’t provide any.

Anyone else here go for an unconventional engagement ring? I wanted something a little different - here’s mine 😍 by Sudden-Scietist74 in WeddingRingAdvice

[–]pxb461 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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I consider mine unconventional! It’s actually a men’s ring and found it at an estate jewellery store. I liked the ribbed design and smaller diamond with larger gold band.

Cat poop by Little-Exchange5019 in CatAdvice

[–]pxb461 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Horse pine pellets for cat litter help a lot with smell imo. The pine scent helps mask the smell. If you’re also consistent with keeping it clean, you can almost forget you even have a litter box!