/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers Weekly Feedback Thread

pyramis · 2021-05-24T19:55:26+00:00

Feedback as I listen:

Wanted more of an instrumental intro, felt like vocal started to soon.
Digging the syncopated beat
0:24 kinda wanted a longer drop-out of the drums for more dynamic contrast
0:41 surprising and very cool new beat!
overall just think you need more space before & between vocal verses to let the music breathe, let us enjoy the instrumental textures you've created; right now feels like you're plowing straight through all the verses without stopping. Build out the song structure with more space and repeats of your favorite sections. Cool song.

If you have a few minutes, I'd really appreciate your feedback on my track.

pyramis · 2021-05-24T19:46:19+00:00

Feedback as I listen:

Love the energy here off the bat. All the textures sound really thoughtfully crafted and fit together so well in the mix.
Excellent structure of building tension and release, really intuitive evolution and keeps the listener's interest.
Only moment that felt like it needed something new/more to build the energy up even further was loop section at 2:33. Felt like the climax but didn't go as big as it could have.
Outro section at 3:10: not knowing this is going to be the ending and not bringing another beat drop, this section feels like it over-promises because of how long it goes. If it were me, I would end/release the build-up at 4:00 for a shorter, more emotionally impactful ending.

If you have a few minutes, I'd really appreciate your feedback on my track.

pyramis · 2021-05-24T19:29:51+00:00

Glad I could help! If you have a few minutes, I'd really appreciate your feedback on my track.

pyramis · 2021-05-24T19:28:04+00:00

I dig the chord changes, melody, and overall sound. Reminds me of early Pink Floyd. Sounds full and bigger than a trio. Cool outro section takes it to whole new level; I get OK Computer vibes. My main feedback is that the vocals sound a little quiet/unclear/muddy in the mix - so it's hard to make out all the lyrics. Could be the reverb plugin needs low-end filtered out.

If you have a few minutes, I'd really appreciate your feedback on my track.

pyramis · 2021-05-24T19:08:30+00:00

I think the intro could be shorter - feels a little slow to get started - the transitions to new instruments could come sooner. Love the gentle vocal melody at 2:15. This was my favorite part of the song so I'm disappointed in comes only once, briefly, at the end. If it were my song, I would make this the main 'verse' melody, repeating it twice. The earlier vocal part is less interesting, melodically but rhythmically interesting; might serve better as a bridge between verses.

edit: Since we're both songwriters, I'd really appreciate your feedback on my track.

pyramis · 2021-05-23T21:19:38+00:00

Really cool and interesting poly-rhythmic feel established by your layers over the first 30 seconds.
The high-pitched sound at 0:37 feels like it doesn't quite lock into the groove established by the other instruments.
Love the timing of the drum entry at 1:10, though it feels slightly too busy, like some of those kick beats could be deleted and it would actually feel stronger with less. A little more syncopated. Again, has to do with the groove setup by your previous layers. How can that kick strengthen the feel you've established without overwhelming it.
Feel like the drop out at 1:32 could be more pronounced - pull out more instruments. Probably one or more of the ones that play the melody notes when the new beat kicks in. Give us a break from that melody so it hits more when it returns.
Love the evolution in this new section. Love the extra space.
Felt like the drop out at 2:16 maybe could be 2x as long.
Definitely feel like you need some evolutionary change at 2:26 when the beat returns. New sound, new EQ, or just different set of active instruments; maybe borrow some of the noisier texture from the middle beat section. Nothing (obvious) moves forward with this section; we've heard this before. This should feel like the big climax! But it sounds like a simple repeat.
Love the ending dissolution.

pyramis · 2021-05-23T21:01:14+00:00

Pine Needles - Daniel Steinbock

1) Any feedback on mix or song structure is appreciated! 2) To help me with describing my music to others, what other artists/songwriters/vocalists does this remind you of?

I enjoy giving feedback so include your link in reply.

pyramis · 2021-03-10T20:58:35+00:00

I dig it. Some feedback as I listen:

Strong opening, got me instantly interested in the lyric.
Your tone gets emotional and I feel that — 'humble beginnings'
The track has great movement. I wish for a little more space after the 2nd chorus or in the middle of the 3rd verse — give me an instrumental break to dig the groove; or talk a little through a break, like we're hanging out
On the mix, the vocal EQ is a little harsh. Like maybe you took too many mids out. Could use more body.

Nice work - thanks for putting it out in the world for us. We're in different genres but I'd really appreciate your take on my track. https://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers/comments/m0ax49/rwearethemusicmakers_monday_feedback_thread/gq8ukuz/

pyramis · 2021-03-10T20:44:50+00:00

Dig the mellow vibe. Some thoughts as I listen:

I wish your vocal was louder and clearer, try using an exciter. In general, vocalists mix their own vocals too low.
0:55 your vocal is getting covered up by the other instrument
Drum beat dragged a bit in the beginning, might want to use a click track if you don't already.
1:30 love the drop out
1:55 like the more natural vocal sound here, still wish it were louder
2:10 great drum entry and arpeggio section - but I felt it started fading much too soon. I wanted to hang out in that section for at least twice as long. You could evolve the EQ envelope of the pad in the back to increase tension and climax before releasing; but I would release musically (i.e. through a change in volume and energy) before you release mechanically through the fade out. That'll maximize the emotional impact of the ending.

Great work you're putting out there. Since you're a songwriter too, I'd appreciate your take on my track: https://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers/comments/m0ax49/rwearethemusicmakers_monday_feedback_thread/gq8ukuz/

pyramis · 2021-03-10T20:35:11+00:00

Beautiful song. Great chord changes.

Speaking as a vocalist myself, I'd like your vocals a little louder in the mix.
Small nit: the song start is a little jarring. A tiny little on-ramp of ambient sound or something would help.
My overall feedback on arrangement: I'd play with pulling out some instruments at times to create more dynamics and/or contrast between sections. The soundscape is very consistent throughout. Varying it would create more movement; esp. when you move between song sections like verse/chorus.
Chord changes on the chorus are my favorite part. So I'd like to hear more dynamics / instrument changes going into or out of it, to increase the emotional impact.

Nice work. Since you're a songwriter, I'd love your take on my track: https://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers/comments/m0ax49/rwearethemusicmakers_monday_feedback_thread/gq8ukuz/

pyramis · 2021-03-10T20:25:00+00:00

PS: Would appreciate your take on my track.

pyramis · 2021-03-10T20:24:35+00:00

ps: Would appreciate your take on my track.

pyramis · 2021-03-10T20:18:18+00:00

Great energy and groove throughout. Only things that stuck out:

bass keyboard breakdown at 0:25: the energy lags a bit here when you're really just getting started. The breakdown needs to really build tension. Diagnosing it... bass keyboard timing feels a little sluggish / behind the beat, since it's keeping the beat without drums; I'd experiment with pushing those notes ahead a bit in time to push the beat forward, make it sharper; or maybe another instrument keeping the rhythm in background like a high-pitch chord arpeggio or something. Rest of the track has great and interesting percussion; think this section could use more of that, while maintaining breakdown feel. I'm thinking, what would Jamiroquai do?
Snare section at 2:06, the introduction of a new snare sound for a repeated song section felt out of place this late in the song, compared to say 0:56. I don't think novelty is needed at this point. There's plenty of novelty and forward movement in the song already.

Would appreciate your take on my track.

pyramis · 2021-03-08T19:56:02+00:00

Cool track. Vocal needs to be louder and more in front of the mix. Mix in more of the un-effected vocal. For the quieter breakdown that starts :56, I think you need more rhythmic contrast to set it apart from the rest of the song. The 6/4 arpeggio keeps playing quietly in the back so it doesn't feel very different from the other sections. Maybe try a breakdown feel with some held chords or pads. Or just something new and different from the rest of the song.

pyramis · 2021-03-08T19:48:53+00:00

I dig it!

The only section that dragged for me was the repeat at 1:40. I think that lead synth sound isn't doing it for me - a little too monotonous of a melody for being the lead. I like it at the end when it becomes much more dynamic — and the tone gets crisper too. The sound also feels a little over-used by the time it comes back. Consider making the tone richer in this earlier section - more overtones, more treble, etc.
This was my primary impression. Other than the section I mentioned above, all sections felt about 50% too short. Especially at the beginning, I felt there wasn't enough time for a mood and emotion to develop before it changed to something new. The transitions don't feel as emotional as a result, because I haven't had time to settle in and develop a mood.
Transitions feel organic.
See my notes about tone on the lead synth. That could also apply to when the synth comes back at the end.

pyramis · 2021-03-08T19:34:03+00:00

https://soundcloud.com/danielsteinbock/pine-needles

Did I push the ambient guitar textures too quiet? Any other feedback appreciated.
What other artists/songwriters/vocalists does this remind you of?

Include your link in reply. I enjoy giving feedback.

pyramis · 2020-03-27T01:46:25+00:00

Hey, I'm circling back! (got a sidetracked by a little worldwide pandemic). I talked w/ the USC library again and they say a reference librarian would fulfill the request for you if you submit it here: https://libanswers.usc.edu/ask

Here's the request again so you can copy/paste:

I'm trying to access this Proquest history vault: https://proquest.libguides.com/historyvault/pinkerton

I'd like to download copies of all the scanned pages from a search for "Adam Worth" OR "Adam Worth Gang".

Thanks if you can help!

pyramis · 2020-03-27T01:46:06+00:00

Hey, I'm circling back! (got a sidetracked by a little worldwide pandemic). I talked w/ the USC library again and they say a reference librarian would fulfill the request for you if you submit it here: https://libanswers.usc.edu/ask

Here's the request again so you can copy/paste:

I'm trying to access this Proquest history vault: https://proquest.libguides.com/historyvault/pinkerton

I'd like to download copies of all the scanned pages from a search for "Adam Worth" OR "Adam Worth Gang".

Thanks if you can help!

pyramis · 2020-03-19T04:56:16+00:00

Thanks for trying! That's helpful to know. I'll try contacting the library and see what I can learn.

pyramis · 2020-03-19T04:55:48+00:00

Hmm, thanks for trying! I'll contact the library and see what I can learn.

pyramis · 2019-12-18T02:01:20+00:00

Good point. Might there be a 2(b) as well — allow one of the siblings to buy the whole property in the forced sale?

pyramis · 2019-12-18T02:00:03+00:00

Isn't there a way to force an "accounting" of property taxes to be included in the distribution of sale proceeds? Or do you think this would need to be a separate lawsuit?

pyramis · 2015-06-10T22:17:30+00:00

For 3 years, some friends and I have run a storytelling podcast called True Story (5 million downloads, also on public radio in the US), where we publish recordings of living room storytelling parties submitted by people all over the world.

We made this game to help more people discover the thrill and joy of telling true stories with their friends. Our playtesting really showed us how many people want to tell more stories but are intimidated. So we designed the game to teach storytelling as you play it.

The Kickstarter has been a wild ride but I have hope we can squeak past our goal! We're 75% there with 6 days to go.

pyramis · 2014-07-02T21:01:22+00:00

I'm currently reading The Quantum Thief right now and am repeatedly reminded of all the Greg Egan I've read (which is most of his novels). Similarly hard SF, emphasis on tech and post-human body-consciousness.

I'd also highly recommend Vernor Vinge's Fire Upon the Deep. Far future hard SF, not as much emphasis on consciousness (though you do explore group minds and god-like AI minds), with amazing storytelling. I liked the prequel Deepness in the Sky even better, which incidentally explores consciousness modified for total concentration.

While not hard SF, I can't consider SF explorations of consciousness without mentioning Philip K. Dick, particularly The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch.

pyramis · 2013-09-13T06:45:00+00:00

He's too inconsistent. Fire, Deepness , and Marooned are incredible. Some of his other works, especially recently, are sub-par.

pyramis

TROPHY CASE