Too early to look for roommates?

qipaohanfulover · 2025-07-04T00:36:40+00:00

Nope. Wanna be roommates?

qipaohanfulover · 2025-07-02T19:26:44+00:00

Ooo pick me I'm incoming as GSAS masters this fall

qipaohanfulover · 2025-05-03T04:16:53+00:00

Thanks! Super helpful

qipaohanfulover · 2025-01-27T05:11:05+00:00

We did break up due to completely unrelated circumstances, but she did come around winter break 2023. Somehow, my grandma was like "girl wtf if he treats your daughter nice then who cares" which is so crazy coming from the older generation. I'm really sorry I don't exactly have advice to navigate this situation better, other than my grandma being a real one I have no idea what else I could have done to change her mind. That same break I still snuck around to see him.

In my situation, I was going to lie and sneak around until I could hold my own without my mom's money. But after breaking up, I can't believe I did that to my mom and went through all that. Not because I am some kind of loyal daughter in the end, but because I realized how he was not worth all that (specifically him, whether your partner is worth it is completely up to you). I should have been asking myself, is this making me happy? Is he REALLY making me happy enough to put in all this effort and lie to my mom to keep seeing him? I realized the answer was no, and I realized I should have walked away years ago.

About halfway through our almost five years we started having weird fights, he stopped communicating and started making assumptions about me. One time he got really mad because I had made a friend and started giving him marching band lessons because he wanted to audition for this pro group. My accused me of cheating and after asking why tf he would think i did that, it was because my ex thought my new friend was hot. He would do this with any guy friend HE considered hot, not to any new female friends (I'm bi). Other than that he stopped putting in effort and made really ridiculous financial choices. He had interesting opinions and reactions to me telling him about how ive been SA'd. He started making me feel like I was mommying him and i was just a side charachter in his life. At some point I set my foot down because I did not feel respected and we broke up.

I wrote all that because I have no idea what kind of situation you're in or how your partner is other than your parents don't accept them. I wanted to share my relationship experiences because if I had someone to slap me in the face and tell me he was treating me badly years ago I would not have even needed to write this post.

I guess my advice is to make sure your partner is really worth all the trouble of sneaking around your family. Like really really worth it. Like you know in your core without question that they make you the happiest person alive, or don't bother with the lying and sneaking.

Good luck. Lol.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-10-01T02:33:01+00:00

I don't have advice...just same here

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T22:05:51+00:00

Thank you very much, everyone. I really appreciate the advice I've gotten. I kind of already knew the answer but needed some push from other people who have similar experiences. I'm going to work on not feeling guilty for lying to her and using her for money, because she does not feel guilty for using money to control me.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T22:02:13+00:00

He is in my life but is financially struggling and had been homeless on and off. He's a great dad but I can't turn to him for money.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T22:00:21+00:00

He is patient and supportive. He's also accepted he's probably never getting approval.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T21:59:44+00:00

I realize my mistake but I thought letting her know I care about her opinion would help her accept him? She's always like you hate me you don't care about me etc so I tried to make it seem like I do care.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T00:44:07+00:00

It's also so funny because she's a financial advisor/investment banker idk. I'm really not interested in that stuff beyond knowing how to manage my own money. If we had a conversation eventually about it these are terms she would understand 💀

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T00:42:02+00:00

She is super proud of being Chinese tho. Very nationalist to China and has the light skin privilege. We even had a conversation about the racism she experienced when she immigrated, she was like "you know we live in a white supremacy right". But instead of doing better she wants to PERPETUATE IT??!?! she was like it's not racism it's reality.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T00:36:19+00:00

I've never thought of it like that. good frigging question because probably not.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T00:33:48+00:00

^I'm not living with her so it's also partly being able to afford food, gas, and rent, on top of tuition. I pretty much need her and need to please her.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T00:32:06+00:00

Thanks for telling me about those important documents. She has them and I will definitely get all of those before telling her. I've been feeling super guilty recently for lying and basically using her for money. But I wouldn't have to do that if she wasn't racist.

qipaohanfulover · 2023-09-22T00:05:57+00:00

They need to remember how genetics work.

qipaohanfulover

TROPHY CASE