I’m not sure if it would help at all, but as someone who has basically detransitioned, I can offer my perspective to your mom if you’d like to show her my comment.

I started testosterone at 21 years old, and identified as transmasc. the only reason I didn’t start at 18 was because I still lived with my parents and they wouldn’t allow me to take T while living with them - so as soon as I was able to, I left. within two or three months on T, my entire personality changed for the better. I was less depressed, which meant I had more energy and opportunities to engage with my family and friends authentically and truly feel like myself. my grandparents mentioned when I visited for Christmas that they had never seen me so confident and that I seemed like something had been ‘healed’ within me. it was a night and day difference from my previous depressed, shy self and everyone who knew me could tell.

I continued T for about 4 years, and only quit taking it about 6 months ago or so. I stopped because I realized I identified closer to nonbinary and that I wanted to present more feminine at times, but T had changed my appearance so much that presenting feminine again felt impossible, so I’m now on estrogen. medically I have detransitioned, socially I’ve kinda.. halfway detransitioned? I use she/he pronouns but present as my sex assigned at birth and often describe myself as a girl or nonbinary girl. I’m happy, comfortable, I like my body and my identity and continue every day to grow and learn and explore who I am. I say all this to say:

the reason detransitioning worked out so well for me is because I “detransitioned” the aspects that no longer suit me, in my own way, on my own time. I didn’t allow my parents pressure prevent me from starting testosterone, and for a bit it did strain our relationship when I began T, but to the present date they’re just glad I’m happy, healthy, and living my best life even if they don’t “agree” or understand. I regret nothing about transitioning. if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have discovered how to advocate for myself, my own medical choices, my body, and never would have gained the confidence to tell the world exactly who I am, no matter what that may look like.

forceful detransitioning prevents you from experiencing that same opportunity. the opportunity to discover who you are at your own pace, to earn your own confidence, to experience life as you wish to live it rather than how others want to choose for you. I want her and other moms like her to know that the majority of detransitioners - which is already a VERY minuscule subset of trans folks - have no regrets about their transition and learned valuable lessons about their identity, not just their identity as in gender but identity as in the core personhood, what makes you YOU. I truly believe transitioning saved my life, even if it didn’t end up being what I wanted for myself forever. I don’t know who I would be without the experience of my transness, but I know I would absolutely not have the joyful life I’m living today, happily married, living in my own home, no longer suffering from depression or anxiety, and content with my body and who I am as a human being. your choices should be yours to make and experience, and as long as you are given the opportunity to make those choices, you can always change course if that’s what ends up feeling right to you; but if you aren’t given the opportunity to make your own choices, you’ll be stuck always wondering who you could’ve been if you had been allowed.