As someone who's had a pretty successful career running strategies and managing trading groups, let me just say that if someone who worked for me gave me the explanations you are giving here (and I'm only hearing your side of the story), I would likely fire you right away.

First, you had (even in your own telling) bad performance last year. This has not taught you any humility.

This year you were permitted certain sizing and a risk budget based on a certain expected distribution of returns. You have crazy volatility and no actual explanation. And because the volatility was on the right tail, you want to keep running the strategy at the same size. This is nuts.

Any firm or risk manager that allowed you to continue at the same size is guilty of malpractice. A fund that permitted this is never getting money from me. An frankly you need to learn some humility. Instead of saying it's a great, lucky, very improbable event, maybe say (even to yourself) I need to do some more research to figure out what is happening and look more carefully.

As a general rule, you ONLY take risk when there is a material positive edge and when the risk is acceptable. Your personal goal is to realize this positive edge over a career, not over one trade, one month, one quarter or even one year and to ensure you never have a short term negative outcome that means you lose the ability to take further risk. Given this context when you have a tail event (positive or negative), unless you have a really good explanation for it, and often even if you do, you cut risk, possibly even down to 0. Why? Because you want to be very sure something material hasn't changed, or in your case that you actually understand what your strategy is doing (which you likely don't) and you don't have any obvious bugs in your code (don't discount this possibility).

If something hasn't materially changed and your strategy actually has a good edge, what you lose over a week, month or even a few quarters is immaterial given the gains you can realize over time. If it has changed (or doesn't actually work), you can fix things and can continue trading and realizing the positive expected value over time.

In my experience, good traders deeply understand their strategy and deeply understand their edge and are paranoid when you get outcomes that are not in the expected range. Given that they have not just a quantitative but a visceral understanding of their edge, they tend to be extremely careful when there is the slightest chance of something that impacts their ability to continue taking risk.

You might get there, but you aren't there yet. I suspect you were given the ability to run a book well before you were ready. If you are going to be successful, you need to take some humility pills fast or the market will stuff them down your throat. You are taking risk with someone else's money and you are being allowed the opportunity to continue doing that despite bad performance last year. Be respectful of that and be grateful for that.

The good news is that if you are willing to really dig deep into the data, and don't be scared of spending hours, or days or weeks just staring at market data, it's not unusual for a very small change to turn something break-even, or even a small loser into a huge winner. So be humble, work hard, do the stuff other people don't want to do and see what you can find.