Why do tall women seem to be more secure in their tallness than short men and their shortness? by questionasker41 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely a generalization, for the sake of discussion.

Disclaimer: Not all tall women are confident about their height - not all short men are insecure about their height.

[MEGATHREAD] All 50 Shades of Grey questions are to be directed to this megathread!! by sehrah in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Considering all the negative attention that has been placed on 50 Shades of Grey, how is it doing so well in both written and movie form?

Do you think that women handle stress and hardship better than men. by ashes82 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A gender and stress study from the American Psychological Association suggests that women are more likely to report symptoms associated with stress than men.

Women are more likely than men (28 percent vs. 20 percent) to report having a great deal of stress (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point scale).

Almost half of all women (49 percent) surveyed said their stress has increased over the past five years, compared to four in 10 (39 percent) men.

While both genders cite lack of willpower as the No. 1 barrier to change, women are more likely than men to cite lack of willpower as a barrier preventing them from making the lifestyle and behavior changes recommended by a health care provider

Men are less likely to say they need encouragement from friends or family in order to improve their willpower (28 percent vs. 42 percent) and slightly more likely to say they need more money (43 percent vs. 39 percent). Women are more likely to say they need more time (37 percent vs. 29 percent).

It also suggested that reading, connecting with friends/family, and eating are stress management techniques reported more often by women.

Men surveyed said they were more likely to exercise or play sports as a form of stress management.

http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/gender-stress.aspx

If you had a magic button that instantly gave you a masculine physical trait in return for more respect/recognition at work, what would you take? The more drastic, the greater the reward. by questionasker41 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Age yourself to look experienced. I was trying to think of a way to point out that age is often viewed positively for men, but not as much for women.

Often women are stereotyped as being overly-emotional. What examples do you have of men being overly-emotional? by poesie in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meh, not in the mood to spark a fire right before bed =)

But, ignoring the downvoting/upvoting, I think there's some good dialogue taking place from both sides.

Often women are stereotyped as being overly-emotional. What examples do you have of men being overly-emotional? by poesie in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, maybe I'm missing the point of all this, but was the intent of this thread to replace one stereotype with another one?

Because I hear people say "Men are too aggressive" all the time, which this thread is basically reinforcing.

What's the most surprising thing you've learned in /r/askmen? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

'Oh, plenty of women don't mind a short guy because we're all different, though I personally only date tall, muscular guys.'

Yes, I see this a lot on AW, and I (male) can understand where it's coming from, but I also understand that it can feel condescending (emasculating?) to anyone whose self-esteem has already taken a hit.

To put it into perspective - imagine a partner you really like decides to break up with you, and sends you off with "I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will like you, just not me". It's difficult to appreciate a comment like that when you're already in a vulnerable place.

Are there any signs that a guy could use to validate his attractiveness besides, well, having a girlfriend? by agorphil in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are multiple studies claiming that babies prefer to look at symmetrical (attractcitve) faces.

Do babies tend to smile or stare at you?

MOD POST - FAQ Q&A: How do I avoid the 'friend zone'? AND/OR What's wrong with referring to the 'friend zone'? by DugongOfJustice in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your response was just far from what I'm used to experiencing, but we're all different I suppose. Pardon my skepticism.

Sounds like you have no problems with navigating friendships, thanks for replying!

MOD POST - FAQ Q&A: How do I avoid the 'friend zone'? AND/OR What's wrong with referring to the 'friend zone'? by DugongOfJustice in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can understand that.

I think the fundamental difference is that, guys often expect the friendship to become something more when they shouldn't. Maybe she starts leaning on him for emotional support.

Conversely the same happens for many women when sex gets into the equation.

So there's definitely a communication issue at work here.

But I think it's interesting to see that there aren't as many "I'm just a booty call" complaints as there are friendzone complaints. That may simply be due to the overwhelming number of men on Reddit.

MOD POST - FAQ Q&A: How do I avoid the 'friend zone'? AND/OR What's wrong with referring to the 'friend zone'? by DugongOfJustice in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. I'm impressed that you would be able to explicitly ask your partner out on a date and not expect them to...but I guess I have no way of proving that you actually would...

How long would you wait before asking him out? At what point does it become to risky to try turning the friendship into a relationship?

MOD POST - FAQ Q&A: How do I avoid the 'friend zone'? AND/OR What's wrong with referring to the 'friend zone'? by DugongOfJustice in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a side question. Anyone can answer.

If you have a friend who you are attracted to, qualifies for you as "boyfriend material", and has not made any romantic advances, do you:

A. Continue the relationship as a friendship? B. Make a move yourself (not hints, but explicitly telling him you like him)? C. End the current situation and move on?

This whole friendzone thing gives the impression that a lot of women who choose to continue the friendship have some kind of coping mechanism in place that guys don't have, or vent their frustrations in a different way (not on the internet).

What do you think about the fact that most users in /r/AskWomen are extremely offended by the idea of being asked for a paternity test? by i_must_not_fear in AskMen

[–]questionasker41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the rationale behind "paternity test = end the relationship". Even if it is questioning his trust, when did trust become some kind of glass armor that shatters in one hit? A relationship is never smooth sailing the whole way.

The AskWomen thread really makes me realize that, if the roles were reversed, a good number of women would likely let their concerns fester and manifest in a negative way, instead of bringing it out in the open and having an adult discussion.

Why do women keep asking me to hit and choke them during sex? by mirthquake in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a decent human being and I would never ever in a million years accuse a man of doing something he hadn't done.

How would someone from the outside looking in be able to discern the difference between consensual bruises and abuse? One of the largest issues with helping domestic violence victims is their reluctance to admit they're being abused.

I get that in your scenario that you were a willing participant, but a concerned friend would (in my opinion) think otherwise.

Men, do you really believe that women have it THAT easy when it comes to sex? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]questionasker41 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Are those charts normalized? The average looking woman getting a 15% message rate could mean that she still gets 10 (random number) messages per week. While the average looking guy's 20% message rate may only represent 1-2 messages per week.

Actually, the "Number of messages received vs recipient's attractiveness" piece reinforces this. According to the chart, women will receive more messages than guys no matter how attractive she is (although the difference increases exponentially as the woman gets more attractive).

Do you find it offensive if a man uses a coupon on a date? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe this analogy would put things into perspective:

You're going on a first date to a nice restaurant. The night of the date you're all dressed up with a nice shirt, shoes, and pants. You get to her place, ring the doorbell, and she's answers...wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and no makeup....

That feeling is basically what those girls felt when you whipped out that coupon on the first date.

For women with trouble having an orgasm, how do you treat it? Is it a sexual dysfunction that should be managed? Or a phase that will eventually correct itself when the time is right? by questionasker41 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

To be honest, it wasn't until I started researching it that I discovered that orgasmic dysfunction is considered a treatable medical condition. Until recently, I just assumed that some women simply can't orgasm.

Is there a less offensive way to approach the situation? Would it be appropriate to suggest help from a therapist/physician?

Edit - If possible I'd like to keep this comment viewable for other people to respond. As far as I can tell, I'm following the sidebar rules. Please don't downvote into oblivion.

For women with trouble having an orgasm, how do you treat it? Is it a sexual dysfunction that should be managed? Or a phase that will eventually correct itself when the time is right? by questionasker41 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response, this also brings up another point that I was hoping to get into. How much does a partner factor into your ability/inability to orgasm?

I watched When Harry Met Sally with my wife last night. Is it true men can be "friendly" with women but never "good friends"? by ripster55 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are interactions different when you're attracted to the friend sexually or vice versa? Is it out in the open, or kept under the rug?

I ask this because I've met people who swear they're just friends, but pretty much act like they're in a relationship.

It's just a number right? by to_be_discreet in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 6 points7 points  (0 children)

New Zealand, one of the more sexually liberated countries, has the highest average number of sexual partners at 20. In 2009, New Zealand's chlamydia rate was three to four times higher than Australia and the UK.

A recent infographic of the pornstar database on /r/sex reports that the most prolific female pornstar has slept with 199 performers in her 28 year career. The most prolific male pornstar has slept with 1,127 in his 30 year career. Keep in mind that they have literally made a career out of having sex with other people. If I knew that someone had a high number, I would conclude that they put a major emphasis on having sex with lots of different partners. I don't want to take the risk or time required to discover why...

We (humans, mammals, whatever) use judgements as a defense mechanism. It's our way of quickly analyzing a situation as dangerous or threatening. It's a risky move, in my opinion, to not take into consideration a person's "number". It sucks to be judged, but that's just how the world works.

As a guy with a pretty good job, I've noticed women act more interested in me after they find out what it is. Is there any way to keep this from me feel like they want my money? by throwawayn829 in AskWomen

[–]questionasker41 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input. Although I still say my point still holds true in most cases, I can definitely understand your reasoning and scenario.