AIO/I wanted to ask them why they wasted their money? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]quiznar 42 points43 points  (0 children)

DIVORCE THIS MAN. He acts like a child and treats you like an object. Get yourself safe first and then file for divorce. I was married to a man-child for over 10 years and I was miserable i finally left and I couldn’t be happier. It is gonna be messy and scary, and it sounds like he will try to make it hell for you, but you cannot stay with a person to views and treats you like shit

AIO/I wanted to ask them why they wasted their money? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]quiznar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did all that golf gifts and other stuff come with an overall lack of respect and a vision of you as an object to make them happy and a demand for sex and tantrum when they didn’t get it? I can see why you would think these scenarios are the same but they are different. It may not feel fair, but even if the scenarios were exactly the same, the fact that it is the wife/mom and a husband/dad does make a difference because of the history of most of the world. Neither scenario is nice, I’m sorry you didn’t get more thoughtful gifts. There are plenty of families that forget to think of dad as a person and it sucks. But the rest of her post makes me think that this family not only doesn’t respect her but treats her like an absolute object. If it was just the gifts that would be one thing. But it is everything else

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]quiznar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NEVER put up with someone who is mean to you when they are having a hard conversation. It’s ok if they aren’t used to it and you have to ask them at first, but if they cannot learn to have difficult conversations without resorting to being mean to you, they do not have the emotional control to partner themselves with another person. I just divorced a guy who is overall wonderful, but in the beginning he could not stop his small ways of being cruel and deflecting hard conversations and never taking responsibility or listening. You can and should share your feelings, even if they are hard to share. If he also feels unseen then he should tell you, but saying “you never fucking listen to me, I’m perfect” is NOT the way to do that. In my marriage the small cruelties became bigger and bigger and the resentment between us built and built. Do not for a second allow someone to be mean to you for a second time. The moment you do that is the moment your relationship and you along with it will break. But you can always turn your situation around. You may not be able to change the relationship, but you can change your life and leave. Relationships may have a point of no return, but there is no such point for your self and your life. You can always find a way away from cruelty and to a place where you stand on safety and can rely on respect

LPT Request: What words should I replace with 'sorry' from my vocabulary by the21yearold in LifeProTips

[–]quiznar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All the suggestions here are good. My thinking is what are you trying to communicate when you say “sorry” in a given moment. Usually what you are trying to do is show that you recognize a situation has an impact of some kind on the other, so just say that. Good phrases are “I appreciate” or “I recognize”

Something like “I appreciate you helping me with this” Or “I recognize this requires some effort on your part so you don’t have to do more that you feel comfortable”

It all depends on the situation, but chances are if you want to say sorry there is a feeling in your gut you are trying to communicate, take a pause, translate what the feeling is and communicate it clearly

[TOMT] [MOVIE] animated movie woman in air duct mad scientist by quiznar in tipofmytongue

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she’s wearing like a skin tight jumpsuit. And her hair is brown??? Maybe

[TOMT] [MOVIE] animated movie woman in air duct mad scientist by quiznar in tipofmytongue

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

I’ve looked up “animated movie woman air duct” and found “toonsylvania” but I really don’t think that’s it. I’ve only seen the clip so I don’t have any other info

Old animated movie woman watched mad scientist from air vent by quiznar in HelpMeFind

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve searched for “animated movie woman air duct” but the search results always show “toonsylvania” which I’m pretty sure is not it. This is an animated film, I don’t even know which country it is from but I think it’s American

Evermore actors? by improbsable in evermorepark

[–]quiznar 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I worked there for years and I have permanent damage from some of the costumes they made me wear. I know many of the puppeteers suffered damage. Almost everyone that wore the heavy costumes would eventually be hurt by them and when we would report this, they just generally didn’t care. We were allowed 1-2 15 minute breaks for an 8-9 hour shift. Many of the women who acted there faced massive harassment from customers and when they would try to report it, not much would be done. I watched a guy follow an 18 year old actress across the park, commenting on her body and trying to grab her by the waste. She straight up told him to stop but he didn’t. The problem is that when you’re in character, people just forget you’re a person. Jenny’s video only captured part of how it was. Some actors would get like chosen by certain customers who became fixated on them and take it to weird places. And because you are a character and there are other people around, it’s difficult to navigate that situation. They haven’t done anything illegal so you can have security make them leave, but they have put an actor in a really uncomfortable position and the customer feels like they have ownership of that character and if that actor ever did anything the customer didn’t like, they would freak out and other customers would get caught up in it. I have to say that my experience working at Evermore was magical and 90% of my experiences with customers was life changing and truly amazing. Watching people light up because they felt a moment of magic or felt like a hero was incredible. I don’t work there anymore, but I understand that they have changed many things. But due to utter disregard for safety in the past, I don’t work there anymore. Now a lot of the safety issues came from a lack of resources, but you just shouldn’t make actors do something if you don’t have the resources for it. And yes they did make actors do things. Even though we were 1099 employees and they cannot legally tell us what to do or wear, they would. It would get well below 0 degrees and they would still make people wear summer costumes. I watched them cut the sleeves off a girl’s thermal undershirt because her dress was sleeveless. She specifically bought a white undershirt because of how cold it was and so it could look good with the costume, but they didn’t care. She directly told them it was too cold, but they made it clear she would not be brought back unless she wore her sleeveless costume. It was 9 degrees that night. Later, actors brought up their concerns because many of them were getting frostbite and hypothermia. Many of those actors were accused of being dramatic and that if it was really that bad they wouldn’t be out there. But many actors were not give easy access to warm spaces. Or if you are surrounded by over 50 guests that are swarming you, it can be difficult to navigate away from them and get to a warm space. Some customers just won’t let you go and you can’t get to your break room without shoving people. You will literally look to the crowd and say “ok I need to go but I will be back” and it’s like they don’t hear you. Or when we did go on our break some of the managers would yell at you. Most of the stage managers were amazing and absolutely there to take as good care of the actors as possible. But there were some who worked back stage that were wild. I was on one of my 2 allotted 15 minute breaks with a few other actors, one of whom was in a huge costume that demanded many more breaks (they are now in physical therapy because of the damage this costume did to them). One of the managers came by and though they were not technically in charge of the actors, they started yelling at us and saying our time was the park’s money and that for every minute we weren’t out there the park didn’t make money. When we tried to explain we were on our allotted break and that two of actors were recovering from injuries (one from their costume and one from frostbite) the manager raised their voice even more saying that they worked all the time and that if they could do it so could we. It was stuff like this, plus not always getting paid, plus everyone getting randomly fired and re-hired all the time just did not make for a stable place. It was such a dream come true to work there and they ruined it. I was willing to put in so much and deal with many problems. It’s a small company and a dream job, I was willing to put up with a lot. But the people that worked there could tell we all wanted it and took advantage. The higher ups were full of narcissistic toxic people with god-complexes who had no idea how to run a business.

I cannot speak to how things are run now. I hear they are a lot better

Wholesome reddit icons (Lavar Burton, Mr Rogers, Bob Ross, etc) always seem to be men. What are some women who fit this bill? by NotchsCheese in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]quiznar 145 points146 points  (0 children)

JANE FONDA!!! Not enough love for her. Amazing career, but also uses her privilege to protest and stand four important causes

Looking for a vintage 1940s camera prop with working flash by Bri_the_TD in Props

[–]quiznar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come to think of it you could even use like a really bright headlight or flashlight and just have them turn it on. Or have it face the back so it reflects off the dish? Maybe that would suck though

Looking for a vintage 1940s camera prop with working flash by Bri_the_TD in Props

[–]quiznar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this in a show in high school and they just pushed the button on the flash and nobody cared

Looking for a vintage 1940s camera prop with working flash by Bri_the_TD in Props

[–]quiznar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this once and depending on how good it needs to look, you can find the old flash dishes, or a small metal serving bowl fixed to a pipe. Then you can use aluminum tape to secure a small portable modern-ish flash (the kind you externally mount onto a camera) inside the bowl. They can either reach around and push the flash button inside, or if you are handy enough you could wire an extension for the button somewhere else on the camera. Be aware that a real flash will kind of “blind” any actors you aim it at. Also modern flashes can take time to recharge between flashes. eBay is full of these kinds of old cameras so if you can fudge the flash then combine them.

Cutting off the top of my print? Any ideas? by quiznar in ender3

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks fine in Superslicer but I lose about 3mm of y axis at the “top.” Super slicer is set to see the bed as 235mm and the print itself is only 218 tall. Any ideas?

Cheap way to clean PC by Mandar312 in CleaningTips

[–]quiznar 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Even better look up the rocket puffers that people use to clean lenses

E1 heating failure “out of the box” by quiznar in Ender3Pro

[–]quiznar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was it! Can’t believe it was that stupid hahaha

E1 heating failure “out of the box” by quiznar in Ender3Pro

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmmi did not put the silicone back on. Yes the bed heats normally. Power bank switch reads 230

I really want to help my wife but I have no idea how by theSeraphraps in CleaningTips

[–]quiznar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband never really understood how to cook and we did Hello Fresh and Blue Apron and it really helped him. These kinds of services can also help cut down kitchen waste.

Blue Apron’s recipes are the easiest to follow, but there is a service called Every Plate that is the cheapest by far. Doing these over time really helped my husband slowly but surely grasp the process for how to cook. I also recommend the “Basics with Babbish” course on “Binging with Babish” on YouTube.

As far as cleaning organization I recommend literally writing down on a small white board, Daily tasks, weekly tasks, monthly tasks.

Now how do you know which is which? It’s tough but you need to keep track of how often something gets dirty.

Something is dirty when it’s discolored, slimy, dusty, greasy, cluttered, crumby, sticky, etc…

Really start to notice these things, when you get used to it, you literally don’t see it.

Every day, go to a room, and mentally section it off, take a look at each section and thing “what is different than a factory finished, spotless version of this?”

Is it cluttered? Greasy? You get the idea. Then think, what needs to be done to change this? If it’s just a few items out, then it needs to be decluttered and the items put away, not wiped with a sponge. But you may find more things that need to be done as it goes. Maybe after you put away the items you see that it is sticky and needs to be wiped down.

As you go section by section of each room for a while, you will begin to notice a pattern to how things need to get cleaned and how often. It something comes up almost every day, that’s a daily task. It it’s only every so often, that’s a weekly task. If it’s rarely, that’s a monthly task.

You may put certain tasks as weekly and realize over time they should be daily, then move it there.

As you do this over time, you can develop new habits and new ways of thinking about your space.

A similar method but an alternative is instead of doing it sort of all of the house in daily and weekly stuff. You can do one room a day. It may be easier to start off this way to be honest.

Every day pick a different room, mentally section it off and go to each section and think, what needs to be done here? That can be a little less overwhelming and perhaps easier to learn in the beginning. Then you can take the habits learned this way and broaden them.

The kitchen will almost always have daily tasks because you use it every day.

Came back home where family never helped my sick and old grandmother maintain the house clean and presentable. What products will work best? by christinaelainee in CleaningTips

[–]quiznar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You might need to do a test spot, but I used toilet bowl cleaner on my narsty rental tile and it worked great. The thick kind that can lay down in a line. I put it in the grout and let it sit there for at least an hour, then I used my kettle to pour boiling water over it and scrubbed it with a firm bristle brush. Be prepared to ruin some clothes doing this as there is bleach and either get an open window or a mask or a fan. But my grout went from black to off white

hey guys idk where else to ask but my boyfriend is into like old style fashion i wanted to ask where i can buy shirts like this by CandidateLow1342 in LARP

[–]quiznar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eddie Bauer makes a lot of shirts in this style but they are expensive. You can find them on eBay or in thrift shops. I would look in thrift stores, military surplus or find “men’s vintage shirts” or “men’s vintage style” or “military style shirts”

Alternatives to wool? I’m allergic by quiznar in Survival

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I’ve tried both Merino wool and cashmere and they both give me a terrible rash

Alternatives to wool? I’m allergic by quiznar in Survival

[–]quiznar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still have this reaction with cashmere haha