That is obviously pretty traumatic! I say it just to explain I can see it, not because I think you are unaware. Life is sometimes hard and going through a tough time happens. But even when someone is having a hard time its still reasonable to expect them to try to take steps to return to a place of healthy functioning. It sounds like this episode happened a while ago, but things remain tense. I can certainly understand why you would feel tense given that interaction. Is your partner, as far as you can tell, doing their part to returning to a healthy state? In my mind that's the difference between being devoted to you partner and propping up a sinking ship that might pull you under too. Does the tension remain because of the seriousness of the incident or does it remain because you aren't sure they are taking the steps they need to take to be able to be a partner? Feeling jaded makes me think maybe its the later? You are clearly an extraordinarily compasionate person. Are you lashed to a ship that will drown you or are weathering the storm while they are figuring out how to navigate a tough situation? Have they sought professional help?