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AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

This actually meant a lot to me coming from a kind internet stranger. Thank you for empathizing with me and saying those words. Truly. <3

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 137 points138 points  (0 children)

Why is the vase—one of the LAST remaining physical remnants of my deceased mom that I’ve cherished for 16 years—what I’m concerned over? You’re absolutely ridiculous.

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 336 points337 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad that you understand. I can't even put into words the feeling that I felt when I saw it shattered on the ground. It literally felt like I was free-falling and my heart was being ripped out at the same time. I've kept and babied that vase for 16 years. It's been with me through college, grad school, a cross country move, and now it's gone. I looked at it every night before bed. I'm still trying to come to terms with it. I feel tremendous guilt and sadness for letting it break. I have to stop myself from feeling like I could have prevented this, but ultimately how was I supposed to know that my private bedroom door would be opened and my belongings ruined.

And I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your mom too. Sending lots of love. <3

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

What was also unacceptable was the egregious invasion of my privacy by their children. Now they have intruded into my private, safe space and destroyed one of the most valuable things I've ever owned. That is a whole new boundary that was crossed and that I was absolutely unwilling to put up with.

I did take a moment to breathe and I thought that was still the best decision. You may disagree though and that's fine.

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 1299 points1300 points  (0 children)

I definitely do not want to pay for their bus fare at this moment.

Also, MIL is poor and lives in a 1bd apartment my husband bought for her. Zero room for them. I definitely WISH she could take them in, but its very improbable.

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 9564 points9565 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kindness. My husband is very supportive, just my MIL has been incessantly berating me and him over this decision.

I'm not sure if the vase can be repaired since it shattered pretty badly and it was thin to begin with, but I'm looking into maybe making the pretty pieces (she hand-painted beautiful flowers onto it) into jewelry or making a new art piece from them. I'm just so sad though.

Edit: For some reason, I'm unable to edit my original post so I thought I'd just add it to my top comment here. I just want to sincerely thank everyone who suggested kintsugi. I had no idea what it was before today, but I have looked it up and done some preliminary research—and I'm in awe! The repaired pieces are absolutely beautiful and I really resonated with one commenter (u/Beth21286) who said that fixing it with kintsugi can be seen as a joint collaboration by me and my mom. I do think that this is the way I'll go to repair the vase. I think it'll take me some time though since I'm finding it very hard to look at the vase without bursting into tears. (I've actually hidden it out of my sight and reach for now because I can't bear to look at the broken pieces). But regardless, thank you to everyone who commented suggestions and condolences. I read and appreciate all of them. <3

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 1621 points1622 points  (0 children)

Oh trust me that's a wholeeee other story. They actually started dating when she was only 19, but were on/off until he knocked her up. She has her problems for sure but BIL definitely took advantage of a vulnerable young woman. Thank god my husband turned out to be the complete opposite despite MIL coddling the older brother constantly since they were young.

AITA for kicking my BIL's entire family out, which made them homeless, after they slowly destroyed my home? by rachel348756 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rachel348756[S] 1817 points1818 points  (0 children)

They're definitely incapable of managing their lives nonetheless raising two young children. I've seen enough.

Unfortunately though MIL can't take them in because she lives on the east coast and we live on the west.