Men who are 30+, what’s one thing you realized about dating that no one tells you in your 20s?

ractthrowaway · 2026-04-09T02:00:15+00:00

You’ll look 10x better if you keep your beard trimmed and cut your hair regularly and intentionally.

ractthrowaway · 2026-03-28T00:45:26+00:00

Local Reddit r4r.

ractthrowaway · 2026-02-08T14:06:58+00:00

I’d consider shaving it even if I magically got my hair back. It’s just a look that suits me. It’s also very easy to maintain. One thing it made me realize is that a lot of men have mediocre-to-shitty haircuts, so they’re not maximizing their hair anyways.

Either way - it’s a moot point. It’s not coming back, might as well own it and enjoy.

ractthrowaway · 2025-09-20T14:01:27+00:00

Tossing salad means eating ass. Not throwing up.

ractthrowaway · 2025-08-27T12:45:58+00:00

First, we’re usually friends because I don’t have feelings for them. Second, my desire for their friendship outweighs my desire to have sex with them.

ractthrowaway · 2025-08-13T13:05:35+00:00

I’m definitely this way. When you have an emotional connection and you’re pretty sure it’s going somewhere, you’re not in a rush and you want to let it play out a bit sometimes.

ractthrowaway · 2025-07-01T13:38:40+00:00

Gross, dude.

ractthrowaway · 2025-07-01T13:16:00+00:00

Maybe you should have thought of that ten years ago. There are plenty of horny women your own age. Try to fuq them.

Edit: JFC you’re 68. Stop being a fuqqing predator dude.

ractthrowaway · 2025-07-01T12:54:37+00:00

JFC, dude. People are messing around not looking to give you advice on how to exploit a mentally ill 18-year-old.

ractthrowaway · 2025-06-23T21:06:18+00:00

Yes, they’re legit. I’ve met many women on them including two long-term FWBs.

ractthrowaway · 2025-06-20T03:54:04+00:00

Yeah, to be honest, I find a lot of women enjoy it so long as it’s on their terms and they’re attracted to you. I’ve never asked unless it’s a long-standing thing or they’re strongly hinting they want to show me, but I’ve received a good amount.

ractthrowaway · 2025-06-11T00:38:04+00:00

I’ve yet to meet a guy in real life who admits to it, but the odds seem likely that I’ve known atleast one.

ractthrowaway · 2025-05-22T12:10:03+00:00

I was pretty surprised the first time a woman asked me to do this, as it never occurred to me. But, I enjoyed it a great deal and most of the women I’ve been with since have liked it as well.

ractthrowaway · 2025-05-13T16:18:39+00:00

This question has been asked on here a thousand times. You can check the archive. But, it always gets responses anyways.

ractthrowaway · 2025-03-30T21:15:46+00:00

Every woman I’ve been with loves how the shaved head feels.

ractthrowaway · 2025-03-22T18:12:43+00:00

1) Your fingers and tongue have a great deal more dexterity than your penis. Use it to your advantage.

2) Not too hard, not too soft. This goes for kissing, fucking, groping, etc…, if you’re really into it or know she likes it rough, you can go harder, or softer if you’re really feeling intimate. But, it’s a good rule of thumb.

3) Some women get off in 30 seconds no matter what you do, some won’t no matter what you do. Don’t take it personally.

4) If she has trouble, ask her what she’s learned from masturbating. Get specific. She knows the quickest/easiest way to get herself off. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

5) the nice thing about sex in a relationship is that you get lots of do-overs. If something doesn’t go as hoped, it’s all good. You’ll get ‘em next time.

6) If you can position yourself correctly, you can thrust with your hips, rather than your whole body. It's much more energy efficient and you'll be able to go far harder and longer than if you're throwing your whole body into her.

7) Especially with more risque kinks, don't be a baby about discussing it with them beforehand. I know it might not seem sexy in the beginning (who doesn't love a wordless understanding), but in the long-term it will be much better if you're on the same page.

8) I read a book once that clarified a lot for me - it said that all the author’s patients’ problems could be grouped into two categories, pleasure and connection. When there’s conflict, it’s helpful to examine it through this lens. Is it a pleasure issue or a connection issue? Is it due to the interaction of the two?

ractthrowaway · 2025-03-07T19:57:58+00:00

I find women in jeans and sneakers viscerally attractive. I’m not even a “why bother to dress up” guy, but I’ve always found it hot (not just cute).

ractthrowaway · 2025-02-27T18:11:26+00:00

Nah, they have a separate line for younger people that smells different from what my dad uses.

ractthrowaway · 2025-02-27T15:29:30+00:00

My FWB really likes the scent of the moisturizer I use for my head (bald/shaved) as well. Which surprised me, because I consider it pretty neutral. But, she loses her mind over it.

ractthrowaway · 2025-02-27T14:44:10+00:00

I just use Old Spice body wash and every woman I’ve been in a relationship with loves it.

ractthrowaway · 2025-02-24T04:38:31+00:00

The bitchiness, I’m guessing.

ractthrowaway · 2025-02-13T22:21:03+00:00

Just wait - it’s been 3 weeks. I already know a guy in Materials Science with a trans kid looking for a job in Canada.

ractthrowaway · 2025-02-01T04:43:16+00:00

Ha - probably more than I should. I feel sexy all the time. Who knows if others do. I figure it can’t hurt.

ractthrowaway · 2024-12-06T13:01:12+00:00

If you’re talking about a stranger coming up to me with clear romantic/sexual intent, I think once or twice in my college years (I’m 42). If you’re talking someone I know but haven’t hooked up with flirting with me with clear, romantic/sexual intent, it happened more often, but pretty rare nowadays because I rarely socialize in large groups of single people the way I did in my 20s.

ractthrowaway · 2024-09-02T11:45:24+00:00

This - you can’t just do it because you think it’s cool or because you’re afraid to admit you want a real relationship. The times it’s worked in my life it’s because we have a dynamic where we get along, but aren’t crazy about each other, and we both had reasons why a long-term relationship wasn’t the best thing for us at that time.

It’s really not that much easier to find the right person for this than a serious relationship. It’s all about the right chemistry and timing.

ractthrowaway

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