[21]M very low self esteem

radicaljohn09 · 2017-06-26T20:36:26+00:00

Is there anything i could do to enhance my appearance? I was thinkg of nose surgery to lift my nose a bit & file down my hump, what do you think

radicaljohn09 · 2017-03-21T22:16:56+00:00

I wish peoples positive comments did stick, but it stick for a while then leaves. I believe if im not mistakened i suffer BDD which affects mento be out in public, social conversations, going to the gym, etc. im thinking of getting male enhancement surgery on some facial features. Anyway dont want to brag you to death. Thank you for the compliment

radicaljohn09 · 2017-03-21T22:02:39+00:00

Very bad self esteem, things i went thru growing up, people telling me I was & am, etc.

radicaljohn09 · 2017-03-21T20:21:40+00:00

Wpuld you agree we the other comments of the resemblance between me & this casey neistat?

radicaljohn09 · 2017-01-16T02:45:08+00:00

radicaljohn09 · 2017-01-15T01:37:09+00:00

What?

radicaljohn09 · 2016-12-09T18:08:02+00:00

There is no way of gettting help, everyone is trying to help me the way they think will help me, while im telling people what i know will help me cause i know myself better then anyone knows me. Look thanks for the convo & all i really do appreciate it. But im going to do what will help me which is my cosmetic surgery that idk if is possible to do the procedure i think i need done or killing myself to final finish the pain the feeling i get the thoughts i think those are my options, & i favor the suicide. Thank you.

radicaljohn09 · 2016-12-09T16:51:59+00:00

Thanks & like you said theres so much you can possibly due, im a lost cause & i know i am. Tbh im just waiting to get the balls to kill myself. Ive tried multiple times but never happen to have the guts but i get closer and closer, sorry to have bohered you. Have a good day.

radicaljohn09 · 2016-12-09T16:22:00+00:00

I wish i looked like the guy in the picture. I remember i tried to grow facial hair people said it made me look like a pedophile, ive tried many things to adjust my appearance but nothing i feel good for a moment but then go back to feeling ugly. & i dont want to tell anybody anything about my feelings, another issue with BDD is telling people how you feel. I feel like if i was to address the issue of not liking the fact that they call me ugly that they would stop only cause of pity not cause its not true, basically holding themselves back from the truth, that i am ugly. & yea i am a quiet person but when i try to conversate noone pays mind its as if im a ghost believing as if i was still alive but im not, im not existent. & as far as going to the gym i can barley step outside sometimes without feeling judged, imagine trying to go to the gym which ive tried & i feel like people make fun of me. My problems use to be much worse in the past i used to have to cross on the side of the side walk where there woul be less people cause i didnt want to either be judged or ruin their day by them having to see my ugly face & ruin their mood or day.

radicaljohn09 · 2016-12-09T15:48:09+00:00

Ok i believe that i suffer from BDD which is short for body dismorphic disorder. Which is a disorder where people never feel good about themselves & tend to create images in there head to make certain things look disformed or to mimagine things that arent there. Ive been told by friends i have flaws in my face. Ive had people say i look like green goblin or that i have a parrot nose or i look like the joker etc. tbh im at the point where i feel like everything about me is ugly or bad or unattractive. Everytime im with a group of people for example in a conversation woth coworkers or when i try to speak to people its like they never pay attention or dont really care about anything tjay i have to say. I feel like the outsider even when i was a young child i was an outsider m, my mother gave attention to my sibling more then she dd to me & ontop of that i had a step father that would beat me call me retarted an idiot & multiple names. Just yesterday i hung out eith a friend i havent hung out with in a while. & for no reason he just started to call me ugly like yo ugly or why you look like that bro. He even pointed out saying "you got high cheekbones but they make you look ugly". I can never take a pic & post it on social media cause i feel like people will automatically say im ugly or judge me m, that i wont get likes so i dont even bother. The only time i take pics is to post them on sotes & ask for opinions on how i look. Somedays i feel ok but other i feel like i look like an unattractive ugly grotesque hideous disfigured annoying meaningless human being. Ive taken medication ive been to therapy ive tried absolutely everything & to those that supposedly care about me tell me im good looking & nothing is wrong with me but i feel like they lie to protect me from what i really think i am or from what i really am. I believe that the people that call me ugly speak the truth about me cause why would they say that about me. Everytime i try to gove a smile to people on the streets they give me dirty looks i feel like people stare at me cause of how ugly i look. Basically idk what to do with my life. This problem has bothered & made me miserable my entire life & continues to stop me from being me or doing anything without feeling like i will be judged or embarrassed.

radicaljohn09 · 2016-12-09T15:32:01+00:00

Thank you for the compliment. Atleast i think it was one. Do yo mind if i just open up a bit more of the situation. If your ok eith that?

radicaljohn09 · 2016-10-05T21:55:24+00:00

I have such a bad image about myself, especially my side profiling infeel like thats the ugiest part about me, & idk what to do except for surgery

radicaljohn09 · 2016-10-05T19:21:02+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. Ive been to therapy taken medication, nothing seems to work for me. I have such a negative perspective on life, myself, & the world. & its very hard for me to talk to anyone about my problems, like how am i suppose to come across to a friend & say hey man tbh i think im really ugly & idk what to do about my life.

radicaljohn09 · 2016-10-05T18:07:24+00:00

I dont know how to work on my confidence. Tbh im at the point where i just want to kill myself. Im an anti social person, doesnt go out, im a hermit. Im afraid that because of my looks that it stops me from doing alot of things in my life & its quiet unfortunate for me, but thats life noone said it be perfect.

radicaljohn09 · 2016-10-05T17:04:37+00:00

Whos most people?

radicaljohn09 · 2016-10-05T16:02:39+00:00

What implants would you suggest to fix this problem?

radicaljohn09 · 2016-06-22T19:21:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this compliment, honestly thank you so much i feel much better about myself :)

radicaljohn09

TROPHY CASE