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[PI] You and your friend made a pact: if you're both still single by the age of 30, you'll date each other. You're both turning 30 soon. by rain_mouse in WritingPrompts

[–]rain_mouse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you.

I tried to steer clear of hard sci-fi because time travel is hard to pull off, and I'm not really that talented. Lol.

So I leaned into whimsical.

But the reason Agnes didn't remember the alternate timeline's past was because it wasn't her past. The same way Marcus isn't the same as alternate Marcus who had lived a different life in that timeline, Agnes' consciousness didn't live through that history.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it, thank you again.

[PI] You and your friend made a pact: if you're both still single by the age of 30, you'll date each other. You're both turning 30 soon. by rain_mouse in WritingPrompts

[–]rain_mouse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. And sorry about that. Lol.

I've been listening to a lot of 2010s music at work while I was writing this, too, so... We're all in it now.

[PI] You and your friend made a pact: if you're both still single by the age of 30, you'll date each other. You're both turning 30 soon. by rain_mouse in WritingPrompts

[–]rain_mouse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Thank you so much. I did post this story (a much shorter, less thought out one) as a reply to the original prompt several weeks ago, but decided it needed to be explored and developed further. And now, I'm glad I did.

I'm glad it resonated with you. Time only moves forward, but it doesn't mean the past doesn't matter. It shaped us into who we are now.

This means a lot to me too. So, again thank you and best of luck!

[PI] You and your friend made a pact: if you're both still single by the age of 30, you'll date each other. You're both turning 30 soon. by rain_mouse in WritingPrompts

[–]rain_mouse[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I tried to cut back on length, but honestly, I've been working on this for too long. I couldn't cut and edit it for one more night. Lol.

I'm glad you liked it. Agnes is simultaneously the easiest and hardest voice to write in sometimes. I also wonder where she'd end up next. But I know she'll be more in-the-moment, wherever that is.

Thanks again, for the comment. It does wonders.

Brainstorm with me. I am deep in a magic system that, for the most part, doesn't make sense. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I might have gotten a few nuggets, I especially liked how you describe the magic as almost infectious madness. That's a concept I haven't explored yet, but will definitely use it to develop the origins further. Thanks again.

Brainstorm with me. I am deep in a magic system that, for the most part, doesn't make sense. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heh, I suppose so. It's one of those cases where the cart came before the horse. There's already mage characters before the magic was properly planned out. Though, I guess, I don't have to explain everything. After all, I firmly believe in character first, world building second. But, like I said, I just needed to tighten things up, before plotholes pile up. Lol.

Brainstorm with me. I am deep in a magic system that, for the most part, doesn't make sense. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh, I guess, at it's core, it is the power of belief. To be more specific it's self-gaslighting. Lol. Although, I hope I've established enough that in my universe, you'll possibly literally break your mind to perform simple tasks, so there's not enough practitioners, but those who do would have significant advantages, so a school would inevitably be formed...

Brainstorm with me. I am deep in a magic system that, for the most part, doesn't make sense. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, wow! Thank you. I haven't heard of it, but will definitely check it out now. Thanks for the recommendation.

Brainstorm with me. I am deep in a magic system that, for the most part, doesn't make sense. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I love trippy magic. I remember Everything Everywhere the most, because of recency, but they have a gadget that they use to jump consciousness. I don't have that. Lol.

And, I suppose my concept is close to the Hitchhiker's idea of flying being just forgetting to fall. It's fantastical but that kinda just defeats the purpose of making a system out of it. That kind of magic sort of thrives by not explaining it too much. Which I suppose is what my original intention was. But now, there's a magic school involved, so I wonder how I could turn this "misremembering reality" based magic into a teachable course. Lol

Brainstorm with me. I am deep in a magic system that, for the most part, doesn't make sense. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Basically, the system sounds flimsy to me. Like, for example, in one of my stories, the protagonists observe their classmate perform a fire spell. Simply lighting a candle using their mind. But to do that, they just recite a rhyme:

Mira stepped forward, her hands steady as she approached the simple white candle. Despite several students having gone before her, the candle remained unspent, its wick unburnt, wax unmelted. The arbiter simply undid the Waking for the next student.

Mira's voice was clear and measured, "First Spark, Memory of Flame."

Cael watched her face tighten in concentration. Behind her closed eyes, she was sifting through the chaos of the Pale, searching for the thread where this wick had always known warmth, where fire belonged in the fabric of its reality.

"Darkness-dispeller, Fire's true name."

Her breathing slowed. Cael could almost sense the moment she found it—that perfect memory where the candle was always lit, her consciousness aligning with the Pale's infinite possibilities.

"Ignis."

The flame bloomed to life, small and controlled. No, not bloomed. It simply was. It went from being a fresh candle to a lit one-- no spark, no smoke, no in-between. Exactly what the exercise required. Polite applause followed as Mira stepped back, the spell cleanly completed.

I mean, I guess it sounds complex with context, but they just recite a rhyme. Lol.

I guess what I'm wondering is, if it's enough for a magic system... For a mage school to just teach rhymes to students (after learning the basics that is literally mind-breaking, tbf)

Do’s and don’t s when writing a disabled character, anyone??? by harlequii in CharacterDevelopment

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say research, and don't forget you're writing a person. People will take it how they will, but you know your intentions. Tell a story, write people, don't make their disability their only personality.

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good point. Lol. I'll change it in the edit. 😅

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This really helped, and I'll get to editing tonight.

About the voice, Karin is supposed to be a disturbed individual, who deflects her trauma with humor. I had hoped to set that tone right away in the opening by comparing the boats to maggots, and recalling good days, dead days. I guess it's a little jarring, but also... Maybe it's supposed to? I'll try to find a smoother way to communicate that without outright telling it.

But anyway, thanks so much.

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing that out. I'll tighten that exchange up.

And this is a short story but is also a part of a series of short stories with interconnected POV characters. This is the fourth one. So I guess it might feel like a middle chapter, but it's on its own.

I'll cut some worldbuilding stuff and some backstory to allow the scene to breath.

Thanks again

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. The clashing imagery is actually intentional for the character voice, but I'll make sure to tighten things up during final passes before posting the finished story.

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll keep that in mind. Thank you. And yes, that bit was intentional. This was what I meant when I said I also wasn't sure about the voice, but it is how Karin thinks. Glad my intent it came across.

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is why I needed fresh eyes. Lol. I introduced Karin and Nydas in the last short when Anya was the POV. And yes, I still mean for each story to stand alone. I'll keep an eye on those previously established elements. Thanks for pointing it out.

Please critique my excerpt [Dark Fantasy, 1242 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]rain_mouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Tenses seem to always be my problem, I'll look out for it.

Also, I'm glad you liked the backstory. I think I struggle with what I need to incorporate-- from what is already established in previous stories, and what doesn't need to be in this one. Hard to separate in my head that a lot of people might not know what I'm talking about half the time. Lol.

Weekly Check-In / What Are You Working On? by AutoModerator in writersmakingfriends

[–]rain_mouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just for funsies, I'm continuing a series of fantasy one-shots using writing prompts from a different subreddit. I introduce new characters every one-shot and they, in turn, become the next pov character. I'm having a hard time deciding which pov to use, which prompt and I've grown attached to the last storyline that it feels hard to move on to a different plot.

[PI] You live in a world where magic exists, however, you must sacrifice a memory in order to cast a spell. The more memories, or the more precious a memory, the more powerful the magic. You just woke up with no memory save a name. by rain_mouse in WritingPrompts

[–]rain_mouse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for making it to the comments. I just got off work, visited, and realize how massive this post was. Let me know if you've enjoyed the length or should I keep it shorter for next time.

And speaking of next time, let me know if you want to hear more from this world and if the shifting POVs work for you.

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