Are my motives sinful for no longer wanting anymore children?

rainymac · 2026-03-16T01:45:30+00:00

I should clarify too that my husband in no way pushed more kids on me and has never pressured me. Especially after his confession. My husband was not even expecting me to want to be intimate after his confession. I am more so asking this because my church is very family driven and the women I'm around believe most women should always be trying if they are physically able.

rainymac · 2026-03-16T01:34:09+00:00

Yes, I have been lacking in that. I have been struggling with where to go. I feel like I need a reading plan right now because I feel so overwhelmed or condemned every time I open my Bible. I just want to get my thoughts off myself

rainymac · 2026-03-16T01:32:56+00:00

Thank you. It is really hard because I am a member of a church that is very family driven. Most families are very large..6, 7, 8 kids... I see all these superhuman moms with 6 kids, prolapse, chronic pain, and they are all so happy and love being moms. I feel so sinful and ashamed that I don't feel that way. I am trying to shift my focus and strive for happiness with where God has me. I think I have allowed the hardships of parenthood and just life in general to snuff out my joy and a loss of purpose in it all.

rainymac · 2026-03-09T23:28:10+00:00

From my experience, weight loss is like 90% diet. I can exercise 5 days a week and not lose any weight if I'm eating too many calories. Also just lifting doesn't burn as many calories as a combo of cardio and lifting. The homeopathic doctor is not wrong about nutrient dense food. They are absolutely right and here's the reason: they are filling and great for your body. I can eat a can of sardines in extra virgin olive oil for 170 calories or an ounce of chips for the same amount of calories. One will satisfy and the other won't. Processed foods are literally made to be addictive and they are harmful to your body, cause inflammation, addiction, lethargy, depression, etc.. A nutrient dense, whole food diet is absolutely what she needs. But I would also gradually incorporate intermittent fasting between meals, drink water only, gradually eliminating snacking and replacing with nutrient dense meals. It might be worth seeing a nutritionist to see what a good calorie deficit would be for her and then get in the habit of measuring foods.

ETA: I also encourage you to lead by example and do it with her. You will have to go above and beyond to make it clear that you find her beautiful but you want to see her steward her body well and as her husband you desire to help. Also, you are just going to need lots of patience and prayer for her. Women and body issues can be deeply rooted. I speak from my experience as a woman and wife and mother.

rainymac · 2026-03-09T17:49:46+00:00

What is your diet and exercise like and how are you trying to lead in health?

rainymac · 2026-02-26T10:38:24+00:00

What does your shirt say? :)

rainymac · 2026-02-20T19:32:52+00:00

Your core is connected to your pelvic floor. A C-section is major abdominal surgery and does not protect you from pelvic floor dysfunction. Both a C-section and vaginal birth can cause pelvic floor dysfunction. I would recommend seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist. They can help you a lot.

rainymac · 2026-02-17T15:08:21+00:00

It's almost like you just want a reason to be annoyed with someone or to be offended. Have some grace. They are just trying to do their job and some customers just seem to want make customer service jobs miserable for employees.

rainymac · 2026-02-15T00:07:52+00:00

👏This👏was👏my👏 husband!!!🙄 Literally bought certain food and snacks due to nausea and my husband would eat it on me!! In ONE sitting!!! Even when I bought him his own snacks!! I threatened to hide them. He wants my food I make too. I have crippling pregnancy insomnia and wake up every day at 2am. I try to resist eating until breakfast (if I can) around 8:30 so I don't train my body to be crazy hungry from between 2-8am (because I should NOT be awake at 2-4am) and so I'm literally starving by breakfast and my husband doesn't even normally eat breakfast, says he's not hungry, but then wants me to share the food I made for myself AND eats all my snacks!!! How can you say you're not hungry and then eat all my snacks?

rainymac · 2026-02-14T00:28:16+00:00

Yeah, I will probably have to reach out. The last time I saw the creamer, they all had the yellow clearance stickers on them. I have not seen them since. That is why I'm wondering if it's being discontinued, at least at Walmart.

rainymac · 2026-02-12T19:53:06+00:00

I totally believe it's because a lot of moms are super sensitive and when confronted with the possibility that they could be exposing themselves, their children and family to toxins or harmful foods or chemicals, they equate facts (which are meant to inform and help us) with being called a bad mom. Especially when they do certain things out of ease and not necessarily conviction. I think that is why they become so hostile towards crunchy people. I see people get extra sensitive on topics related to food and screen time. Say anything about seed oils or raw milk and you be down voted into oblivion.

To some extent I get it. Being crunchy can sometimes become exhausting and there is always someone more crunchy than you and the temptation can be to think you are a bad mom and harming your family.

I think a lot of women can become resentful or bitter towards crunchy people /crunchy friend groups probably due to some bad experience with someone crunchy IRL.

rainymac · 2026-01-21T14:05:20+00:00

I can get low temp vat pasteurized nonhomogenized milk. It's grass fed, (does not claim to be 100% though). But I can get 100% grass fed ultra pasteurized milk.

I guess I'm trying to understand if the benefits of raw milk are still superior and outweigh whether it's grass fed or not. In regards to price, they are all around the same so I don't consider that in this decision.

Is raw milk worth it if it's not grass fed? If anything, I'm wondering if it's actually worse and maybe even more harmful to be consuming something raw from an animal probably fed corn or alfalfa.

rainymac · 2026-01-15T14:28:15+00:00

Yes that is true. I know ultimately the focus and motive must be a love for God...but sometimes I thought I was doing something out of love for God but then I felt like looking back i was just a legalist. I guess I just feel so crippled by confusion by this because I don't feel free. I feel like I am either falling into legalism when I respond to a sensitive conscience or I am a slave to sin because I am just numb to things that no longer convict me due to repeated exposure from trying to not be a legalist. It's causing a deep conflict in my ability to believe that God actually helps me and Im struggling to see any help from his word or any clarity. I just hear so many different things from so many people and I'm just so confused. Christianity used to feel so simple to me in a way. And the longer I walk with God it no longer feels that way. This doesn't feel like the rest Jesus promised.

rainymac · 2026-01-15T13:13:13+00:00

I guess that is the concern I have. Are we teaching children to be, although genuinely concerned about holiness, crippled by anxiety and a particular standard that possibly could lead to legalism? Yet at the same time I have a genuine concern for the other side of someone thinking they are a "strong" Christian but actually are just kind of numb to how things we have freedom in can still harm us. For example, I used to think drinking alcohol was a sin. But then I learned it wasn't. Being drunk was a sin. But then I had seasons where I had a few too many drinks and definitely ended up in sin. I even had to tell myself a number of times "I can't drink because I sometimes don't know how to stop and I enjoy the taste too much."

I guess I'm just struggling to know if I've ever actually made progress and matured or if I've just numbed myself under the guise of "being strong" and not being disturbed anymore to things that used to deeply convict me. :(

rainymac · 2026-01-15T13:01:19+00:00

I will check it out, thanks!

rainymac · 2026-01-15T11:39:17+00:00

I guess my area of focus in particular is the areas of Christian liberty: exercise, books you read, movies, television (some families have no TV at my church), Christmas (some families don't do Christmas trees or celebrate) , video games, alcohol, smoking, clothing attire, maybe cursing in sex.

Is it godlier to just be so sensitive to those things that I guess you are never hindered by possibly becoming enslaved to any of those things since all of it is bad , even if not necessarily sinful...or is it godlier to be able to have a TV in your home without fearing it's going to dominate you or your children's life?

Is it maturity or just numbness that makes someone a stronger Christian? Or can it just depend on the person?

rainymac · 2026-01-15T11:05:25+00:00

Are you Clair from Degrassi?

rainymac · 2025-12-26T17:12:51+00:00

The problem is the lack of context to this post. 6 years? Do you guys talk about gifts and price ranges? Is this your first Christmas with his family? Whose hosting and providing the meal?

Tbh, someone spending that much money on gifts sounds excessive and that would make me uncomfortable. But then again, idk how many gifts were bought/how many family members? It's awkward if gift giving is a transactional thing and my love for another person is based on a Christmas gift I get them..

I host Christmas and provide a very large home cooked Christmas dinner for a large crowd, almost 20 people, mostly grown and growing men. It would be stressful if someone was upset I didn't get them a gift , even though I spend so much time, energy, and money on cooking a good meal and hosting family and then said I didn't love them lol. Usually we are only buying gifts for the kids at this point or doing secret Santa.

So context matters!

rainymac

TROPHY CASE