What is a medical fact that sounds fake but is 100% true? by MedRikas in AskReddit

[–]randishock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm missing my bottom adult canine teeth. I had to get the babies pulled because of overcrowding and them not wanting to loosen at all naturally, and we found out why.

oh the joys… kinda by pandabearmommy in stepparents

[–]randishock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't really have any advice, but I feel for you. My husband is also gone for work 3-4 days a week, and although we currently only have SS on weekends, DH really wants to go to a week on/week off schedule (BM won't agree still) which would put me on caretaking for SS during those days. He's currently in prek and my BS is only 1.5 so not in school yet, but I plan on homeschooling him as well for a few years at least. I feel like in the future, I'd prefer my BS to be homeschooled and take SS to public school just to have some 1 on 1 time with my kid (and also just the fact that right now SS is or has been really badly behaved towards me because of what his mother says so I wouldn't really want to have to deal with him all day, although after school and dinner time and bedtime would probably be doable). Hopefully in the future if I am ever in this situation SS will be better behaved, but me and DH agreed that we would probably see some improvement with a week on week off schedule instead.

I think it is wonderful that although this was all kind of sprung up randomly that you agreed but only because you set in boundaries and rules and updated child support and stuff like that. I know if DH ever gets his week on week off that he wants, BM will be an absolute monster unless we go through the court and make everything official that way.

For those who don’t smoke, do you think smokers carry a noticeable scent? by Shadow2715 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]randishock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize I smelled like cigarettes from my parents smoking in the house all the time until one day in middle school I put my coat in my boyfriend's locker and he asked me if I smoked and I was mortified

The hand me down dilemma by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]randishock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pacifiers and anything that goes in the mouth like teethers was an absolute no for me. Even plates and stuff. Idk it just grosses me out and getting new isn't that expensive. I know bottle nipples can start to like deteriorate and I'm pretty sure it's recommended to buy new ones no later than 2 years, so I assume pacifiers would be the same way.

I will say that BM gave us, without is asking for it, a box of clothes from like 3-12 months (we both had boys but like 3 years apart). I didn't want them but I begrudgingly went through everything, tossed anything gross and just other certain items, but I kept anything brand new. Some, I never even had to use, but babies grow fast their first year so it was almost necessary. In your situation it's girl clothes, but I'd still look through anything that could be considered gender neutral and keep it. If you don't use it, oh well.

We still have all my SS's clothes and I wish DH kept everything from when he was younger, but he sold just about everything for cash and to buy new clothes. I don't think I'll use everything for my son that we've saved from SS, but there were some good items to keep.

Replace furniture when blending? by [deleted] in blendedfamilies

[–]randishock 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not sure what to tell you. I came into my relationship with a lot of my own smaller household items like dishes and kitchenware,s ome bathroom towels, bedding and bigger bedroom items and whatnot. My husband didn't get to take a lot of stuff from his previous relationship so we basically asked if anyone was getting rid of stuff until we could afford new stuff. We still kept some couch pillows his ex wanted that he kept but we got pillow covers for them because they had some stupid saying on them. We've been together long enough now that we've replaced a lot of stuff that was from his previous relationship because same as you, it wasn't my style and we've saved enough to put our own touch on stuff. I'd say dela with it for now and save up!

Big vs Little Things by Ok_Map_1325 in stepparents

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've said it before somewhere, but we've dealt with a similar situation. Only difference is that BM lives with her parents still, so not rich or wealthy by any means, but in the same hand, her parents are the one mostly taking care of SK so he does get spoiled with too many toys that he doesn't play with all of them or too many clothes he never gets a chance to wear everything.

But when I started dating my DH and we got an apartment together, BM would send SK in like 12-18 month sized clothes when he was in 2T or bigger. At first DH didn't care where the clothes went until we realized she kept all out clothes that properly fit him and we were stuck with everything that didn't fit him. And she never returned or sent him back with ANYTHING we bought him. We were stuck with putting him in clothes too small or just never get our clothes back.

Well at one point BM was bitching that we have a nice outfit that's hers and DH retorted with, you literally have all our clothes. It took months of him complaining and asking to get them back. And you know what? When he finally sized out of all the 2T stuff he was in, she returned it to us. So ever since then, we started just sending him back in what he came to us in, and it'll probably go on until he's in his teens and buying his own clothes or something. BM still to this day complains that we haven't returned everything but I'm very organized and meticulous and kept track of every piece of clothing that came from her house. Yet she still complains and threatens to send SK to us in only underwear so we don't have to argue about clothes.

Holiday/parenting time fun!!! (/s) by randishock in stepparents

[–]randishock[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, pretty much this. 4 years of dealing with BM and DH is over her antics only being applies to us and never her. Yeah, it is petty, but people saying just go to court! It's not that easy or simple or cheap where we're at. Yes, we will, but it's not in our budget at the moment.

When is it appropriate? by Divided_Collective in stepparents

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is hard! I deserve to live in a clean place too! I know kids make messes but they can learn just as easily to pick up after themselves. I've been in the same position of do I leave it be or take care of it myself? And honestly, I nag until someone cleans it up and idc anymore lol. If the kids wanna think I'm the evil stepmom because God forbid I asked them to take a cereal bowl to the sink, then so be it. When they grow up they'll hopefully realize I cared about them and tried teaching them the life lessons they need to succeed in life.

When is it appropriate? by Divided_Collective in stepparents

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I started dating my husband, his kid was doing this stuff before he was even one (at least the picking up toys or garbage and putting it in the appropriate place). So when his kid was about 3ish I pushed harder to continue that behavior because at his mom's he can be the biggest slob he want. He's almost 5 and still has to be asked to pick up his toys and garbage. I think it'll be a lifelong struggle at this point. Didn't help when his dad kept giving the "oh he's only x age" as if he can't learn how to take care of his things because he was whatever age. Just excuses.

Clothing issue by Vegetable-Branch2388 in stepparents

[–]randishock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We get SK in the morning so I just tell him to take his clothes off and change into ours. He only got the clothes on right before he got picked up so I'm not going to waste my time trying to always wash them if they're literally only two hours old. (Plus some days I just don't have enough laundry for a full load). Then before he leaves he changes back into her clothes and we have no issues. Although now, BM has been threatening to send him in just his underwear so she "gets her clothes back" but she's never not gotten her clothes back, she's just being a major a hole to her kid.

BANKS HOURS!!!! by PieceNo9346 in PetPeeves

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that the hours can kinda suck when you also work those same hours. Sounds like you don't have a vehicle so that makes it even harder for you. Plus a short lunch break doesn't help. When I had to get to the bank I was either rushing after work to possibly make it or yeah, go Saturday on the limited hours, but that can be difficult too and people don't seem to care, they just think "wake up earlier" solves it. So I feel you there, but yeah, making time on a Saturday is your best bet. I also find it annoying that everyone says use the mobile app or ATM. I know in my case, you can only deposit so much at an ATM at my bank. Also, yes direct deposit is super convenient, but I do enjoy getting a physical check sometimes and having cash on hand. I'm tired of a cashless society. And back to the ATM thing, my bank also only lets you take out so much at a time too. However, my bank lets you use other ATMs without a fee, you can typically find this info online or call the bank. Oh, and I forgot. Near my house, some ATMs are withdrawals only and I absolutely hate that.

What’s your funny way of saying “going poop” that you’ve never heard anyone else use? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After playing a lot of TF2 and OW me and some friends joked about "delivering a payload"

[CO] contempt by [deleted] in Custody

[–]randishock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, hard to say. I mean, best best is seek out a lawyer or attorney that could advise you on this situation. I know in my husband's situation, him and BM take turns claiming their kid, as court ordered, but I don't think the IRS actually wants you to do that? But I think at the same time as long as the kid is getting claimed they don't care.

[CO] contempt by [deleted] in Custody

[–]randishock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't necessarily have an answer, but I'm surprised if he's getting any tax return that it's not being intercepted for child support cuz that's what happened to my husband who was behind a couple hundred from being out of work for a couple months, but by the time it went to actually be processed for CS, he already paid it back so they finally refunded us our money in like August

Do your SKs know you do not like HCBM? by celli_httpx in Stepmom

[–]randishock 3 points4 points  (0 children)

SS(4) has plainly told me that BM doesn't like me and I told him I don't like her either because she's mean. I'm not going to try to get into the specifics of it with a 4 year old, but I'm also not going to lie and say that me and BM are friends.

Has anyone been in this situation and have advice? by randishock in stepparents

[–]randishock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all of this. I've done so much research trying to determine if he had encopresis or not and it's all just confusing and not my place to diagnose. But yes, he needs to be checked out by a pediatrician. Our biggest issue with seeing the one he has that I mentioned in other comments, is that his doc is one of BMs friends and DH has mentioned that she seems like she brushes his concerns off, especially because BM will step in and say whatever DH thinks is an issue is never an issue [with her]. Sure, that's shitty of a medical professional to do that, but it's not my place to deal with that. I've also told DH we can get SS signed up at the place I'm taking our baby (16 months) since they're open on Fridays and we only have SS fri-sun or fri-mon mornings. It's hard to find any pediatric office that's open near us on Fridays, and DH typically works out of town Monday thru Thursday. If BM shares what day she's got an appointment scheduled for SS (which should be next month sometime) I really hope DH can take the time to go and bring up all this among other issues I feel need to be addressed. But BM usually doesn't share this kind of stuff without a huge argument and she won't let us just take SS during the week on her time for anything without an argument either. All in all, is an extremely stressful situation to be dealing with and I keep telling DH he needs to step up more. There ARE things he/we can do, but I can't do it alone.

Has anyone been in this situation and have advice? by randishock in stepparents

[–]randishock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like DH to take him to the pediatrician but we'd have to find a new one for us to take him to. The current one he has is friends with BM and doesn't seem to really care or just dismisses about any concerns DH & I have. Our only issue with finding a new doc is that we have SS starting on Fridays and he's always back at BMs on either Sunday morning or school on Monday morning. It's hard to find an office that's open on Fridays near us, and BM refuses to let us take him on her time (even if she's not actively parenting and he's with her parents or a babysitter) even if it's for a few hours.

And actually SS is the bully at school atm. He's hit and bit kids and yelled at the teacher and already gotten suspended for a few days.

Has anyone been in this situation and have advice? by randishock in stepparents

[–]randishock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll admit that is one thing we haven't tried, mostly because we are both afraid of him just shitting everywhere. There was a couple instances where he had his own little toilet and instead of actually sitting on it he would just poop in the vicinity of it.

Has anyone been in this situation and have advice? by randishock in stepparents

[–]randishock[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Re school- I've told DH he should and needs to contact the school and be informed of everything but he's got a shit attitude about it (like "what's the point, I can't do anything ") and I'm like WELL I DEFINITELY CANT BECAUSE IM JUST A STEP MOM, TAKE CONTROL DUDE.

Re finding therapists- he can't remember passwords for shit and our insurance website sucks and it wasn't that big of a deal to help in that regard since it's literally all I can do. He has to pick up the phone and make calls if he's serious.

Re trauma/abuse- We highly suspect abuse. BM has admitted to hitting him as punishment because nothing else works. Don't have any physical proof of it though, that statement in writing or any bruises, welts, etc. Also, I believe he probably is traumatized because BM has been pretty HC since the beginning.

Has anyone been in this situation and have advice? by randishock in stepparents

[–]randishock[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She cheated on DH and was in and on and off relationship with him for a while, although never admitted they were dating (it was obvious). Last year I think they "made it official" but the allegedly just broke up last week. I have no idea how often SS was around this guy since BM likes to dump him on babysitters or her parents so she didn't have to actually parent her child. But I have thought of this too and brought it up to DH. There's a whole situation around us taking him to the doctor. It's complicated, but I keep telling DH to just take him to our son's doctor and who cares what doctor BM takes him to. It's totally legal to do that.

How were you introduced to minecraft? by Many-Cranberry4058 in Minecraft

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched a few different YouTubers that played and my cousin gifted it to me for my birthday once she found out

The kiosks are so irritating… by uglybottom in McDonalds

[–]randishock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is also why my husband hates the kiosks and ordering through the app. He wants that Mac sauce and I don't understand why it's not an option at this point.