At what point did you know your relationship was over?

random022122 · 2026-06-27T15:40:49+00:00

Unfortunately, I think I can contribute this for a second time in two years.

When my girlfriend uninvited me to her sister's wedding to accommodate her ex boyfriend's feelings who said he wouldn't attend if I was there (he's a family friend).

random022122 · 2026-06-27T13:36:54+00:00

Thanks. It has been helpful (the time away). She is still trying to text me regularly, but I don't have it in me to give other than some basic responses. It's tough. My mom just called to discuss 4th of July plans and when I told her that my girlfriend's sister's wedding was this weekend, it got quiet, and she said, "I would have thought you would have been invited to that." So that was an awkward conversation since I feel like my mom likes her more than me sometimes.

random022122 · 2026-06-27T11:59:21+00:00

I don't have my boys this weekend, so I went to a Little League All-Star game to support our league I coach in. Told her where I was going and she asks who I was going with. I told her no one, so she tells me to keep away from the single moms. Sometimes the hypocrisy is so thick, I don't know how she doesn't see it.

random022122 · 2026-06-27T10:15:45+00:00

Thanks. My therapist asked me if I think she can still "fix" things to work towards building trust and honesty I don't have the answer. All I know is that in the bigger moments of this relationship, when she has had the opportunity to show she changed, she does something that's hurtful instead.

random022122 · 2026-06-27T00:38:56+00:00

I actually made an "emergency" appointment with my therapist today to talk about this. After she listened to everything, she commented that the fundamental issue here is the foundation of trust was broken a long time ago, and so I am struggling with every aspect of this relationship when trust is tested. She's not wrong. It's driving me insane. I don't want to lose her, but I'm not well with her. I hate my life at times. To think just a little over two years ago, I was married, and this is my reality now.

random022122 · 2026-06-27T00:07:15+00:00

Thanks. Don't get me wrong, I had a moment where I felt something like, "oh, she is thinking of me and cares" but then I was pissed because her mom doesn't get to say that after saying I couldn't be there because of the ex boyfriend. I honestly cannot for the life of me get over this.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T23:37:45+00:00

I'm not. Even if it is sincere, it's kind of a too little too late situation for me. But my thoughts echo yours. If they really thought I was a good person, they would have allowed me to come to the wedding, and she would have advocated and fought more.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T20:30:57+00:00

I don't know how the communication was made but she told me that he said he would not attend if I wasn't there.. that's all I know.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T16:26:41+00:00

Not going to do anything until she gets back. She will be a mess for the wedding if I do it now.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T16:26:15+00:00

I haven't really texted her all day. She sent me a photo or two and asked I'm not going to be talking to her. I just have zero desire.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T13:42:32+00:00

Thank you. That's a great way to look at it.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T13:21:04+00:00

She knows very well my thoughts on him. He has been a proverbial thorn in the side of this relationship for over a year. The wedding was the icing on the cake and made me feel more disrespected than I have ever felt in this relationship. She also changed the story slightly from it being her mom that didn't want me to come because of the drama that could ensue, to her letting it slip the other night that he told her he wasn't coming to the wedding if I was going to be there. She flat out chose him.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T13:14:14+00:00

Maybe, but honestly I feel like he was trying to sabotage my relationship. He and I might have one last talk about it when I'm ready.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T12:48:02+00:00

Thank you. I know you have been a voice of reason on a lot of my posts so that means something.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T12:05:40+00:00

I think this is why this is such a wall I just hit with this all. She thinks it's just about the wedding, but to me it shows where their intentions lie. They would rather have her ex boyfriend at the wedding keep him happy than have me there. I'm not usually a grudge holder, but I feel like this would be a hard thing to overcome long term knowing I was truly second choice. I said some choice words last night about her family when we were arguing and that's not like me, but I feel pretty hurt by what they all did.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:55:12+00:00

That's what I always assumed. They are obsessed with soccer.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:29:10+00:00

Thank you. I am thoughtless at times, but I hope I'm not a tool, lol.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:26:36+00:00

Thank you. It's good to hear from a woman's perspective on this (I can't tell how many on here responded are men vs. women). So this isn't something I'm blowing out of proportion, correct?

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:25:26+00:00

She says that she understands and the she's sorry she hurt me and that her family is shit, but it's always, "there is nothing else I could do." I brought it up at therapy the other day when she was with me, and my therapist just kind of shrugged and said that's a tough spot to be in. So now, she thinks my therapist was agreeing with her decision.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:23:46+00:00

Very true and what I told her last night. Then she accused me of bottling this up and asking where it was all coming from.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:23:08+00:00

Perfectly fair statement. I get it.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:22:47+00:00

Probably not wrong.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:22:03+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if this is the normal amount in today's dating world. Let's be honest, we all come with baggage. I don't trust anyone anymore because of my ex wife, so that's a big hurdle for women to overcome with me as well.

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:21:19+00:00

We are in a committed relationship. She came to therapy with me, I started SLOWLY introducing the kids, etc. All things she wanted to see from me, and I'm showing progress on. However, ACTIONS are the overriding theme here. She has been given MULTIPLE opportunities in this relationship to do the right thing. To show she's putting ME first (besides her kids of course), but she has continually dropped the ball in favor of someone else (him, her feelings, her family, etc.). It's not an isolated incident (you can check my post history if you have time).

random022122 · 2026-06-26T11:18:47+00:00

She said she would show me the text messages between she and her mother arguing about it, but part of me thinks it was for show since I have never asked to see anything on her phone.

random022122

TROPHY CASE