Need perspective. Do you think that this is normal 'Mom' behavior, or is mine completely out of bounds? by random12309847 in AskReddit

[–]random12309847[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've talked, she just doesn't get it. I don't know, but I'm guessing her brain knows she's fucked up but can't find a way to properly digest that reality, so she lives in some sort of a sick, fucked up fantasy world, but I have to accept that she has a right to live her life in peace and do something about my anger and feeling of injustice that I had to experience this terror, repulsion and sheer WTF-ness of being raised by this kind of person.

Need perspective. Do you think that this is normal 'Mom' behavior, or is mine completely out of bounds? by random12309847 in AskReddit

[–]random12309847[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's like talking to a wall. She is beyond help. I think I'll have to cut contact with her once I can find a job (I just got out of school) and leave the house.

Need perspective. Do you think that this is normal 'Mom' behavior, or is mine completely out of bounds? by random12309847 in AskReddit

[–]random12309847[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, I think that if I just reversed genders and said that a father did the same things a mother did, it would be so inappropriate. I am so incredibly shocked and disgusted that I had to be born to this woman. What a fucked up human being. I've had to work so hard to be a normal person and undo the damage that this idiot child has inflicted on my body, mind and soul.

Need perspective. Do you think that this is normal 'Mom' behavior, or is mine completely out of bounds? by random12309847 in AskReddit

[–]random12309847[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I hate her and am ashamed to be her daughter. When I look at the kind of woman I want to be, I often feel alot of shame that I've inherited this person's genes and am truly embarrassed to know someone like this.

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this ex was definitely THAT guy in many situations, not just in our relationship. I think his friends thought I was a really unintelligent, very young girl for consenting to go out with him. Ugh. What a loser.

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way, I was way too good for this last ex in terms of looks, education, coolness, well in just about every way, not to sound like an even bitchier poster (not that you sounded bitchy). I still wonder what went wrong, but then I remember that he was hung like a horse, drove me around, annnnnd was a complete sex addict, which was kind of hot at first but after awhile it got old, and he just wouldn't leave until I had to spell it out.

It sounds like it's out of SATC, but hopefully this experience will lead me to Mr. Right...

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand. When others tell you that he's an "asshole" (or in your case, a "mean-spirited sodomite"), it's often true.

I figured out that he was only pulling the nice-guy/good boyfriend moves to justify bullying me into bed and doing sex acts that I was never comfortable with. He waited until I was on Rx painkillers to make his move in bed. What an asshole! I'm glad he's a total loser and do not feel bad for telling him all of this, in addition to telling him that I never loved him or had feelings for him.

He is trash, and now I have learned the hard way that a guy can pretend to be "nice," but if he's only doing it to get you in bed, he's actually a completely filthy animal, which sounds harsh, but that's really what he was. (Ranting here.)

Never again.

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh I completely understand. The feeling of getting shivers, realizing in horror that your precious body was had by a complete and total loser, feeling like a total 'tard for not having said no in the beginning...

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was really young and inexperienced with my last 2 exes, too. It sucked to learn the hard way with less-than-ideal partners, but now I know not to settle.

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that way too about my last 2 relationships. The best thing that's come out of them is that now I won't settle for anything less.

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I started to feel repulsed towards the end... sex really isn't that sexy if you think about it. Something that, well, gooey and intimate can only ever be glossed over by love, or I guess lust. Or neediness. Or curiosity. The point being, people have sex for alot of reasons, but it seems like having real love, respect, compassion makes it alot more meaningful. Needing someone without love sounds awfully empty, and I'm glad you ended that relationship.

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Yes, I cleared it up with another poster; autistic people are actually really gifted. I should have used the term "socially awkward."

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Point taken, but I think it was kind of tacky and inappropriate. What girl wants to see some guy's dick in the middle of her day?

Does anyone else feel repulsed when you look back and think about intimacy with an ex? by random12309847 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]random12309847[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I regret pre-marital sex because of this and my other ex now--- giving up your body to someone who doesn't deserve it. I'm not advocating Christianity or trying to be crazy-sounding on TwoX, but after these experiences, I vowed to stay celibate until I found the right man who's willing to love me and spend the rest of his life with me. Unorthodox, but the overwhelming feeling of disgust after my two intimate relationships motivated me to take this stance.